Stop The Dramatics On Military Spouse Facebook Pages and Groups!

Yesterday a very informative military spouse Facebook page for where we are stationed was deleted.

Why? I honestly don’t know …It was alot of “she said she said”!

Many people would venture to say I don’t virtually hang out on other military spouse FB pages because I have ArmyWife101 and I don’t want to be bothered with other people’s pages. That is true to an extent in that it is hard to try to maintain a page the proper way and keep a clean image so that others will want to continue to visit. I along with my page moderator spend alot of time on AW101 keeping the “dramatics” from happening. The part that is not true is that I really love visiting other military spouse communities to learn new information. I do despise visiting at times for the following reasoning below.

Back To My Point

In any event this great page where many wives came to learn new information about their new home was deleted. Now granted the admin of the page is entitled to do as she pleases. What happened after she deleted her page is what just made me throw my hands in the air.

No sooner then she deletes the page ,  a new page with the same name pops up, but it wasn’t the original owner or the original page. Some silly immature wives took it upon themselves to snatch the name up, not even a few minutes later and create a page that I literally watched people argue on all night.

Scenarios like this are one of the main reasons why I don’t frequent other FB community pages. It isn’t because I think I am better then anyone else, but it’s because I don’t have time for the pettiness and the lack of understanding some spouses tend to have on there. If you go on any community expect others to share their opinions. You don’t have to like it but really to cause arguments because someone doesn’t agree with you is beyond immature.

On many forums and FB pages you will normally find these types of folks:

The Catfighters

The Detectives

The Trolls

The Lurkers

The Woe Is Me’ers

All of the above are usually the start of drama that enters online communities that should be a learning ground and an information resource for other spouses.

Word of Advice

If you decide to create a FB community page you will need to have tough skin. People will come on your page insult you and create fights in all the name of boredom. You as a owner need as much as I hate this cheesy phrase   to put your “Big Girl Panties” on and moderate accordingly. Don’t let bored people ruin your hard work and everyone else’s experience. If you can’t handle the above, you shouldn’t have a page.

If you are a bored person or one of the people from the list above create your own page or find something productive to do with your time. You my darlings are the wives that have people calling all of us catty!

As for now I am keeping my “LIKE” list to a minimum but I hope that spouses can eventually learn to get along so that others who use the page for it’s true intent don’t have to suffer.

Do you visit other military spouse forums or FB pages?

Share your thoughts below!

Comments

comments

Powered by Facebook Comments

11 comments

  1. jamie

    I totally agree. I was on that page myself last night and was disgusted by the way they were treating each other and the new mods did nothing in fact they encouraged it by posted a certain status. I however got blocked from the page due to me voicing my opinion on their behavior.

  2. Lauren

    I, like you, hate drama. I left that behind when i graduated high school. I am a fan of one spouse fb page for Ft. Hood. It has been great and all the member very helpful. I have not yet been a part of military spouse drama, but I can assure you as soon as I come across it, I will no longer visit that page, or whatever the case may be. We are all grown women, for the most part, we need to act like it and represent our men well! While I’m here I must say I LOVE your page AW101!!! Thanks for all you do!

  3. WOW. I had seen the post that they were deleting and pretty much saw it coming but I did not think someone would try to copy the page! lol These women are crazy and need to get a life! Why do women always have to do drama? I myself was never attracted to it… Thanks for your awesome page!

  4. chainz

    Ahh, yes. I tend to call them the Broad Squad – I doubt the behaviour will ever change, as long as there are young women with major delusions of entitlement who treat relationships and friendships as disposable. These are the people who turn their anger at themselves into a vendetta against someone else. In a nutshell, people who refuse to accept responsibility for their own demise, expecting to be coddled, comforted and carried without pulling their own weight. Treating the whole world as if it works for you doesn’t suggest you’re special, it means you’re an ass, ladies. I’ve seen it going on for as long as I can remember, since internet message boards were dial-up and could only log in one or two users at a time.

    Too many moderators are focused on being nice and supportive, instead of halting drama or removing antagonists when it begins. I understand that not all mods are online 24/7, but one or two people ruining or causing the end of a valuable resource for others is ridiculous.

    Seriously, just how psychologically crippled do you have to be before shopping for shoes, the socks your husband left in the floor, coloring your hair, and what your neighbors think of you are the biggest things in your whole fucking world?

    Being a mature adult isn’t about reality TV-style sabotage antics. Its about working hard for what you want, and knowing when to stand up for what you deserve. Its not about demoralizing others; its about self-empowerment. Its not about being arrogant; its about displaying your confidence and intellect as a badge of pride. Its not asserting any inherent superiority or self-entitlement, but recognizing your own self-worth and value.

  5. Jessica

    Hey AM101!!! Listen, I go on your FB page atleast once to twice a day when im at work because you and the rest of the wives actually have AWESOME advise, I dont go on there for the “latest gossip” .. I dont need gossip, what I do need is to read what im going to be in for in a few months when my husband is done with AIT and what ill expect in the future.. that to me is more important then CAT FIGHTS… yes I did visit a few FB pages and I was sadden to see so much drama. THANK YOU GENIA FOR ALL YOUR HELPFUL TIPS AND THANKS SPOUSES FOR NOT BEING CATY ON THIS SITE!!! :)

  6. I agree with you that you have to have tough skin when trying to run a page… a good one anyways…lol
    that is why i made an actual group for my page…we keep the dramatics off my main page and i let them be “bitchy” or whatever they want in the group. We all need to blow steam sometimes…
    I normally don’t post on too many other pages but my own, I mostly read other ones, mainly yours.
    i can admit that the things I say stir things up at times but I think that is just because I don’t watch my mouth, the filter seems to missing most of the time…I don’t intentionally try to hurt people, but it happens sometimes. Normally I will apologize when I believe I’m in the wrong too.
    Now, I know this was talked about in my group, the page being deleted, and some gals from my group were on that page, but I missed what happened. Been too drugged up to pay attention really lol
    Have a good one Army Wife 101 =)

  7. Georgia Meyer

    As I stated, your blog has done SO well because you share your opinion and don’t let others dictate how you feel about a topic. Problem is, lots of people who are mods on those kinds of boards can not take the heat. People are never going to agreee with you, and that is ok. Then again, I noticed that board attracted some what I am pretty sure are some straight up, nuts. I didn’t visit them often until I got here, but I met some super nice ladies through a board and I should probably just continue on my way with real life and leave internet stuff alone. And I am totally the lurker, I don’t comment much.

  8. LABragg

    I have to agree with you on this. No page is going to be drama free period. You are going to have so many that agree with what you stand for or say, you just got to suck it up and just move on. Like you said, Put those big girl panties on and suck it up. Last I looked we are all adults and need to learn, if we dont like what someone said, just brush it off and try to do your hardest to ignore it if it continues. Dont continue for hours arguing back and forth. You drop it they will eventually drop it as well. I was a part of that group as well, and will say, it did seem like the mods were a little to strict and with that, that is what will bring drama on more. Also when you go a mod goes and deletes something then posts a different status and drama will not be excepted, well that is just going to bring it all up and more drama as well. You will then get people asking what happened and then others will fill those in and there it goes.
    I am also on another one of the groups here and I will be honest, since I have been on this other group I have not see the Mods being like that nor have I seen drama on that page either. Seems if there is, people drop it with in a few posts back and forth, but pretty much all act like adults and know everyone has difference of opinions.

  9. I totally agree with you!!!!! I do have to include that it is bad enough that as an Army wife I have to see the dramatics in person at times on post, yet now that I have been surfing other FB Community pages it is on there too!!!! I am a big advocate of everyone voicing their opinion, at the same time, I KNOW I CAN VERY BLUNT but, try my best to understand that not everyoone’s views, morals, beliefs, values are the same.
    I think what makes a good blog is where people “CAN AGREE TO DISAGREE” Some spouses have NO LIFE and just like to start DRAMA! My opinion to them is to try to express their feelings and or opinions in a more modest way. Regardless, of what someone says though, I THINK SOMEONE WILL ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHNG TO SAY.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>