I have had this post in my drafts for 2 months but yesterday while reading one of my favorite military spouse bloggers Ann Marie at Household 6 Diva I thought about it again and was curious to see other military spouses opinions and feelings so I decided to share how I felt prior to my husband coming back.
Our first deployment was actually the longest one. It lasted fifteen months and some change so as you can imagine after a year or so (as much as I missed him) I became quite used to being without him. I remember when family members would say “Oh I know you’re glad this deployment is almost over”, I would respond “Yeah I am but I just feel like my routine is going to be interrupted”. When I look back I am like damn how could I say such an awful thing.
The truth is based on my conversations with other spouses I wasn’t the only one who felt this way. It didn’t have anything to do with cheating or mistreatment as being any of the reasons for my feelings of dreading his return. I had just created this system and being the control freak I was I guess I didn’t want it interrupted. In some ways I think the whole routine thing might have been a way I mentally prepared myself for possibly something happening to my hubby. In my weird crazy mind I almost figured that if I played the part of him not being there , then it wouldn’t be as bad god forbid something had happened. Don’t judge me that’s just what I felt as a young little twenty something mom and Army wife in another state away from her family for truly the first time in her life.
Once he came back I now had to let go of my role of mom and dad . Humorously speaking I think part of that routine I was really hating letting go of was the normal daily task that come along with having a husband. I mean honestly there were many Beefaroni and Ramen Noodle nights for the kids because they were happy with that and I could have whatever I wanted. Once he came back being the wife I was , I needed to at least make sure I cooked a few times a week , more errands came into play and in a nutshell life started back up again .
Did you feel like like your routine was interrupted when your spouse came back or did you experience similar feelings beforehand?
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