Routine Interrupted…When The Deployment Was Over and Hubby Was Back In The Picture!

Hubby and I a few days after he returned from Iraq

I have had this post in my drafts for 2 months but yesterday while reading one of my favorite military spouse bloggers Ann Marie at Household 6 Diva I thought about it again and was curious to see other military spouses opinions and feelings so I decided to share how I felt prior to my husband coming back.

Our first deployment was actually the longest one. It lasted fifteen months and some change so as you can imagine after a year or so (as much as I missed him) I became quite used to being without him. I remember when family members would say “Oh I know you’re glad this deployment is almost over”, I would respond “Yeah I am but I just feel like my routine is going to be interrupted”. When I look back I am like damn how could I say such an awful thing.

The truth is based on my conversations with other spouses I wasn’t the only one who felt this way. It didn’t have anything to do with cheating or mistreatment as being any of the reasons for my feelings of dreading his return. I had just created this system and being the control freak I was I guess I didn’t want it interrupted. In some ways I think the whole routine thing might have been a way I mentally prepared myself for possibly something happening to my hubby. In my weird crazy mind I almost figured that if I played the part of him not being there , then it wouldn’t be as bad god forbid something had happened. Don’t judge me that’s just what I felt as a young little twenty something mom and Army wife in another state away from her family for truly the first time in her life.

Once he came back I now had to let go of my role of mom and dad . Humorously speaking I think part of that routine I was really hating letting go of was the normal daily task that come along with having a husband. I mean honestly there were many Beefaroni and Ramen Noodle nights for the kids because they were happy with that and I could have whatever I wanted. Once he came back being the wife I was , I needed to at least make sure I cooked a few times a week , more errands came into play and in a nutshell life started back up again .

Did you feel like like your routine was interrupted when your spouse came back or did you experience similar feelings beforehand?

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12 comments

  1. allisha

    YES! felt the same way, thru last 2 deployments. Me and a couple other wives where just talking about this same subject a while ago.

  2. Yes! I do! ;) Thank YOU for sharing your story too!

    I’ve found that one of the most terrifying thing we can do as bloggers is confess with honesty what is going on in our lives. It leaves us in many ways, completely vulnerable.

    It is also the most amazing thing to see others relate with stories of similar experiences!
    It makes me feel good to know I’m not alone!

    (FYI here is my ‘Since my husband came home from Afghanistan’ post http://household6diva.com/2012/01/since-my-husband-came-back-from-afghanistan.html}

    • Army Wife 101
      Author

      Thanks for stopping by Ann Marie!

      Yes I agree it was nice to know okay I am not a bad person. Sometimes you need that confirmation and also blogging is so theraputic when it comes to issues like these :)

  3. Irma

    I felt the same way. I was mad at myself for it and even felt kinda selfish. But I love having him home and wouldn’t change that at all :).

  4. Yes I have felt that way too. It is hard to get back into it. My husband has been home 7 months now. Sometimes I catch myself missing certain things about the deployment. It’s weird. I don’t want him to deploy anytime soon but sometimes I miss the routine of it for some reason.

  5. Yvonne

    I eat a lot more and I always gain more weight when my husband is back. But I think priorities change when he’s home. It’s back to focusing on us and not just myself.

  6. Jamie

    I had to go from being so independent to including my husband in everything I did again. It was rough at first but I realized that I love having him home more than doing it by myself.

  7. Jasmin

    Oh yes, thats exactly how I felt. My best friend (who lives two houses down from me) and my husband were deployed at the same time and came back the same time. We would rotate dinner one night at mine and one night at her house while the guys were gone………….we did so many fun things and we had a lot of fun.
    Once the guys came back, we talked a lot of times, saying: man, sometimes we wish the guys were gone again! Our kids asked if we didnt like each other anymore cause we didnt have dinners at each others houses as much anymore……………the same, all over sudden there was sooooooo much more laundry, army gear laying around the whole house and much more!!!
    So yeah, you get used to it so quickly. And then when they are back, you get used to them being there too, and by the time that happens they have to leave again……..

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