Top 8 Things Every Army Wife Must Have If You Wanna Survive This Life…MUST READ!

Military life will suck the life right out of a chick…won’t it?

In some cases yes, but if you have the following items it will make life just a tad bit easier.

Below are seven things that every military spouse should have:

1. A License

I really can’t stand driving ! I hate driving on the highway it makes my soul hurt and my damn foot hurts too. That being said I encourage non driving spouses to get some driving lessons and a license. I really pity those who expect people to drive them around because they won’t learn how to drive. When the guys are away and you live on a base being able to at least get to the commissary and the doctor are essentials. Gas cost and so does people’s time…learn to drive my dears. (For the record I am referring to those who are perfectly capable of driving and just haven’t made the effort , not those who can’t for medical reasons)

2. Ability to Be A Man and Women

This may sound funny but if you are not independent it will make military life hard. When deployments arise count on playing the mommy and daddy. When something breaks count on trying to fix that mess yourself or figuring out the right person to fix it who won’t try to jip you because you are a woman.

3. A Tongue Depressor

Hearing some of the mess that goes on within your spouses unit, or may have even been said to him is enough to make any protective wife wanna bark off at the mouth. However, let your husband handle himself. You’re his wife not his mommy! Not holding your tongue can cause him more trouble and stress at work.

4. Patience

Patience to deal with some of these crazy wives on base who many times have nothing else to do so they choose to make everyone else’s life hell because they’re bored. This won’t always happen but patience is key in military life period. Patience also applies to the hurry and wait rule! Patience in the commissary, patience at the clinic and patience during separations.

5. Business

This means get you some business so that you don’t have to worry about everyone else’s.  It will help you stay out of the drama of military life in the long run. Seriously consider getting some hobbies if you aren’t going to work to keep you busy.

6. Independence

Plain and simple if you are not independent you won’t last in this lifestyle. My husband had a bad habit of doing everything for me because he is a sweet guy. I loved that he did that until we arrived at our first duty station and he got deployed and I was stuck off post by myself . I barely knew my way around town and had no friends. It took me some time but it was either never get the courage to drive to post and buy groceries or suck it up and use the benefits allotted to me as an independent.

7. A POA

I may take some heat for saying this thanks to the select few spouses who got POA’s then took their spouse’s money and ran. At the end of the day those are those people and you are you. I get letters frequently from spouses who somehow let their husband convince them they didn’t need a POA. Nevertheless, some crap goes wrong and now they are scrambling and mad at a company because the company is requesting a POA to handle something that is only in their husband’s name.  Umm no! When your husband is 10 million miles away get a POA and avoid some unneeded stress.

8.Coping Skills & Understanding

Lastly, in all seriousness coping skills are extremely important in military life. Unfortunately while your problems are big to you, a lot of people in the Army life have them and their’s are just as dire as yours. I know all too well how hard it can be arriving at a new base and not liking it, not having friends or seeing things happening that you may not like. You are going to need to cope and make the best of it. I am a huge advocate of having “whoa is me” time. I do it often, and in fact I highly encourage an every once in a while pity party. After the party is over it’s time to clean up and get your shiz together. If hubby sees you stressed he will be stressed and won’t be able to focus at work. You will also need to be understanding that the Army quote: ” if they wanted him to have a wife they would have issued him one ” is absolutely true. That B^%$ tends to come first, and most times we’re the mistress in our own marriage!

What other things should a military wife have to survive this lifestyle?

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33 comments

  1. Tammi

    A sense of humor and positivity. You will be miserable at all times if you cannot find something positive in anything. Oh and cases of midol will save your marriage from lots of fights! =)

  2. Tiffany

    I think that spouses need to have their FRG Contact Roster, or the FRSAs number if they do not know anyone and their husband is gone. When I moved to Korea to be with my husband, i ended up being the Units FRG Co-Leader. As more and more spouses arrived and the guys went out to the field i started getting a lot of phone calls and emails. The calls were always different, some were easy, some hard. But really, every spouse should know the contact info for the FRG/FRSA. Hell, most calls were easy things like directions to the PX or Commisary, or how to get to another gate cause one was closed for repair, the number for ACS, where to exchange USD to WON… and some were more serious, like how to contact the SM cause they had a family emergency, how to get to the nearest hospital, how to call the MP Station… but i know it helps to have someone to ask questions or to just talk to. To me, it helps out a lot, exspecially when you arrive at a new duty station and the SM isnt around.

    • Yep! I totally agree with this as well! I used to be an FRG leader too and most of the questions I got were pretty easy to handle with a few exceptions.

      Oh, and POA is SOOOO important! The first time my husband got deployed we almost didn’t get one, but another schooled military family talked us into it. I’m SO glad they did because it saved me a TON of headaches!

      I also like #3. I would be humiliated if my husband started yelling at people just because he was irrationally over-protective, so I don’t do it to him. I feel better about keeping my distance and letting him figure it out on his own.

  3. Aisha

    I agree with Vanessa, thick skin is a must. We have not done our first PCS and I know that in order to live on post you gotta be a “G”! Lol some of these MilSpouses are viscous. But that’s anyplace you go no matter what everyone will not like you and that’s okay too!

  4. Kim

    I kind of stay out of the whole military wife life because I don’t want to “be a G” as someone else said. I have a career, hobbies, and volunteer work. I keep to myself on base. I’m not going to act ridiculous. If other people are going to do that, I will stay away from them, even if it means not being part of a group. I think spouses who aren’t home with little kids need to get a job or go to school so they don’t have so much time to make drama! I couldn’t do it. I was out of work for two months when we moved to CA and it was driving me crazy. I don’t want to be a stereotype and I don’t want to waste my life. Don’t forget that you can make your own life even when your husband is in the military.

    • Shayna

      She meant be a G as in be tough, not a thug, which is what you are referring to. Which is the truth. And being a G has nothing to do with acting ridiculous, it just means you gotta take it and don’t back down, not wild out with these childish woymen. Even so, some of these women need to know that not ever one is gonna play their games, some women don’t play that. Just because you live on post doesn’t mean you won’t get knocked out.

  5. Maryland

    Love this list! I have to agree with Independence! I love the fact that I can get things done! I didn’t know how strong I was until I became an Army Wife :-)

  6. And a positive attitude! So often I can “cope” and be resilient. I can get through. But I think a positive attitude is so necessary. I have to keep looking on the bright side, to try to make the best of things, even when things are rotten, because otherwise I will not survive, I will be miserable. It is so helpful to remind yourself to try to be positive… let yourself be frustrated, angry, upset, stressed… and then take a deep breathe and think about how important it is to move on with a new and improved attitude.

  7. JC

    I agree with all of these, especially the driver’s license. For those living overseas/internationally, it is also relevant. Another thing is a support system (such as family, friends, other military wives, etc), short- and long-term goals to work for, and hobbies.

  8. Family…either biological or one you choose yourself (or both!) is a must. The people who will take tearful phone calls, offer a hug or glass of wine as needed, or drop everything to help out when just one person can’t do it all!

  9. Christa

    A positive support system is extremely helpful!
    I don’t know how many times I was saved from a complete meltdown because of some words my mom or my close friend said to me. Support is something we all need as human beings and it definitely makes a difference.

  10. HH6ix

    Thank you for posting! After having been an Army Wife for 20+ years, this is the best set of advice I have run across! A POA, sense of humor and common sense will get you everywhere!

  11. Bernadette

    Absolutely love – you should also add some education….not hobby education but real live, you took time to learn and absorb and not be a dumba** education.

  12. Olivia

    Very good points you are making. Its hard to do things for yourself when you are spoiled. My friend used Clipix in an interesting way to include her husband in everything she was doing around the house (while he was deployed). She still insists that it helped her “cope”. Thanks for sharing.

  13. Meg

    You know those are all so true and yet such basic common sense that alot of people don’t realize that is what they are missing lol

  14. Melanie

    My husband is finishing up basic this week and we should figure out our first duty station soon. I am experiencing every emotion about leaving and going somewhere new. This information is so helpful, thank you!! :)

  15. Kris

    My boyfriend keeps talking about the military. He was infantry and I think his first marriage ended because of it. Now we are together and at a point of discussing the future and he brings up possibly going back. How do I break it to him that I have no desire to be a military wife? It just doesnt fit within my personal goals and plans for the future. :-( I respect those who can be a military family, but for me, its not appealing at all.

    • Kris

      P.S. I want to support him and encourage him to follow his goals. I want him to be happy. But I fear it means an ending to us because our paths will be splitting and going in seperate directions and they wont be joining back up at any point. So, how do I say that I love him, I want him to be happy, I want to support him, but I cant do it if he is heading back towards the military life, without sounding stupid and selfish and mean? I dont want to keep him away from his dreams. Am I wrong in thinking if our individual dreams dont line up at least a little we should part ways? If he wants the military life, he needs someone who wants it or can handle it as well. Am I right?

      • Jen

        I am a canadian military wife and I was like you kris, I swore up and down that I would never give up my career and goals and be a military wife, but I found the man of my dreams and military kinda came with. Now that its been 2 years I wouldnt trade it for the world. I dont know your personal goals or path but there is always a way of making it work. For example were currently posted at CFB Petawawa, I cant get a job that lives up to my university degree- so we have made a plan to change trades and that way get me closer to a bigger city. There is always a working it out- just make sure you tell him exactly how you feel and make comprimises, goals and deadlines. It is 100% worth it.. I have never loved someone so much because I appreciate him so much more because we dont get every day together. If you really love him you cant expect him to sacrifice his job and he cant expect you to sacrifice your goals.. so thats why you comprimise and find away around it.. Thats the biggest thing Ive learned in the army is things will always come up .. you just gotta sit down talk about it and find a way around it. Hope this helps. Youll surprise yourself as to how much you can handle if you think you cant handle it.

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