Cookie Cutters, Horse Manure and Chameleons

tracimoranWe’ve all been in that awkward situation where we don’t know which fork to use for what, how to poo at someones house without causing a blaring splash and precisely what dress is perfect for the ‘black tie optional’ event we feel obligated to attend.  For some reason, retaining such knowledge is typically associated with the amount of class someone has. Personally, I feel like that is EXACTLY what is wrong with our society. Those kind of (in my opinion) useless facts consume, embarrass and confuse us all! If the majority of us don’t care, why must we pretend to know such specifics in the company of others?? When will we be able to look at each other, laugh and pull out the plastic wear?

I for one am sick of the cookie cutter expectations that are put in place by people that I don’t even respect. Forming a mold that people MUST fit into in order to be ‘accepted’ into your perfect little world of nonsense is shallow. We are all individuals but we are all people. Embracing each others differences, on any scale, would make the world such a more beautiful place. If you feel something, express it! If you’re thinking something, vocalize it! If someone has an issue with who YOU are when you’re not pretending to be someone else then it is exactly that; their problem! Period. Who wants a friend that doesn’t like you for you anyway?

I frequently experience people who have a problem with the semi-obnoxious, loud, strong opinionated things that I say. Those same people, however, have NEVER told me to my face. I’m sure that many of you have encountered similar situations. They are so busy judging the world that they forget to be upfront and real, which to them is practicing excellent etiquette. To me, its being fake. They are two faced and typically try to fit into the exact same cookie cutter that they are expecting from every one else because for some ignorant reason they thing thats how they’re supposed to act. These type of people slime their way into blending in with everyone and lack personality and integrity.

Uniqueness is what makes the world go round. If we were all supposed to live by certain guidelines, we would be born preprogrammed. But, we weren’t! As Army wives, we are given the ultimate blessing/curse; constantly meeting new people. It is up to us to represent ourselves in a way that makes us happy and our husbands proud. We have a carousel opportunity to be who we want to be and make the impression that we want to imprint on people. I urge you all to find the inner you. What is it about you that makes you different? Every single part of your character was influenced by your own life events and the people most important to you. Why would you want to lose that connection to all of your memories? Anyone who requires you to be different isn’t the kind of person you want in your life anyway.

After all, my husband married me for me. How about yours?



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  1. AGRwife

    “I for one am sick of the cookie cutter expectations that are put in place by people that I don’t even respect. Forming a mold that people MUST fit into in order to be ‘accepted’ into your perfect little world of nonsense is shallow. We are all individuals but we are all people.”

    But, doesn’t this make you just as guilty as the next girl? You are basically saying those of us that know these things are in the wrong and we should all become classless bores. Someone that truly has class would never make you feel bad about not having good manners. We might try to teach you by example, but the rest is up to you. It sounds, in my opinion, that you are very insecure in how you present yourself. Don’t blame others for your own feelings.

  2. Kristie Merrill

    Oh My Gosh this is so true! Like what does casual dress really mean, that one gave me a few moments of panic. :)

  3. Sara

    Sometimes speaking your mind is a good idea. Sometimes not so much. If you are semi-obnoxious then you are probably crossing the line from good idea to bad. You may not care what people think about you but there can and probably will come a time when your spouse might. Sad though it may be your actions reflect on your spouse as well.

    Having said that, no you should not be forced into a cookie cutter image of what other people like. But you should keep in mind that what you consider fake many people consider manners. I mean seriously, I am not a fan of a lot of things people do but I dont have to tell them unless they are hurting me when doing it. Learning to say the right thing at a ball during a toast is not that difficult and in fact shows that you respect the military and your spouse. Most military wives dont have a clue which fork is the correct one and who cares anyway. Anyone with manners is never going to mention it if you do use the wrong fork nor are they going to go spread it to the rest of the world.

    What seems sad to me is that your article seems to call out people with manners who are offended by your comments. You don’t seem to have any respect for them. In many cases they are the spouses of Soldiers with experience you may need to draw on. I guess you could say it is kind of like a church elder. They aren’t the priest or the pastor but they are someone who has been there and done that and can provide information and suggestions to help you survive. They wont always be right but they also wont always be wrong. They will however be people who will understand your particular situation and step up to help.

    Unless of course you alienate them all with your comments and lack of respect.

    • Ashley

      Very well said. :) We shouldn’t just roll over and be what everyone thinks we should be but being classy and knowing the right words to say in the right situation is beneficial. You can still get a point across while maintaining class and being a lady!

  4. Channing

    I agree- to an extent. This is definitely a controversial subject…. obviously not all women, or people for that matter, think & believe the same. As much as I believe you should always be true to yourself & act yourself; I believe you should also know your bounderies in situations. You should still respect others around you & tone it down a little if your making others around you umcomfortable.

  5. Carrie Jones

    This is a topic I used to mull over as I was adjusting to life as a PTA mom. The ‘fakeness’ of many of the other mothers used to drive me crazy! Then I realized the thing that bothered me most about them (the constant judging of others) was the same thing I was doing to them (deeming them ‘fake’). Now I take a live and let live approach to it all. I respect them for their choices in how they want to live their lives and live my life the way I want to. (Which includes running the kids down to the bus stop in slippers and pajama bottoms. :)

  6. Mary

    Whatever happened to civility, courtesy, respect and just plain good manners? If someone talks about you behind your back, walk on. Who cares. Be respectful and courteous and move on.
    I am an older military spouse and daily I am appalled at the way the younger wives conduct themselves on facebook groups, websites and other social media. Again, I see nothing wrong with practicing good manners.
    Today’s society seems to glorify vulgarness, outspoken-ness, name-calling, drama queen divas- which is working for you.
    Mostly, it seems you have a problem with people who call you out on your lack of manners and good judgement.
    I love this blog and Krystal but hope it’s not going to be turned into the Army Wife 101 Drama Zone.

    • Hi Mary! Thanks for stopping by to read. We all have differing opinions and this is those of this writer but , there is no drama here just discussing real world thoughts and issues. You can still expect the same, fun discounts, random thoughts and info from Army Wife 101 :D

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