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Lesbian Military Spouse Will Be Excluded From Officers Spouse Group On Bragg…Hmm!

ashleybroadway

Image Credit: MSNNow.com

While I haven’t discussed the Ashley Broadway story on my blog , I have shared it on my fan page. If you aren’t familiar with the story you can read about it in depth here.

I am touching on this topic to share MY thoughts on this issue. Whether you have an issue with homosexuality is not really important to me at the moment. I feel everyone is entitled to an opinion.

That being said this issue of the “The Association of Bragg Officers’ Spouses choosing to exclude Mrs. Broadway from their group bothers me wholeheartedly.

I am bothered by the fact that here is a women whose life partner serves our country. This soldiers spouse stays here on the homefront like so many of us. She takes care of a child , she waits for phone calls during deployments ,  she sends care packages , and she shares the same worries that any military spouse endures when their husband or wife is in a combat zone.

Yet this community of spouses whom you think would welcome a fellow military spouse with open arms have essentially turned their backs on one of their own. Of course there is a whole bunch of legal mumbo jumbo that I don’t care to figure out such as the reason for her membership being denied because of a 2008 policy that apparently has not been revised. Shouldn’t that have been one of the first things done after don’t ask don’t tell was turned over.

In addition there are a lot of other details and I am sure the folks who don’t share my same opinion will give every reason for her membership being denied. You will hear things like the Association of Bragg spouses is a private group, she does not have an ID card or the legal facts such as this paragraph grabbed from “Buzzfeed” of which a portion of it comes from the policy itself:

The instruction prohibits private groups seeking recognition by the military as a “non-federal entity” from discriminating on the basis of race, color, creed, sex, age, disability, or national origin”. It does not mention sexual orientation because out gay, lesbian, and bisexual service was a ground for discharge when the instruction was written.

 

 

Read the policy in full here.

 

 

While if you look at this from a time aspect I can certainly see how back in 2008 it wouldn’t have made sense to include a gay spouse being that at that time only Massachusetts recognized same sex marriage and only 2 states allowed civil unions. In addition most gay service members were not going to come out then because of DADT.

It’s now 2013 and same sex marriages are recognized in 10 states and several states recognize civil unions and domestic partnerships. Although the Association of Bragg Officer’s Spouses is a private group and allowed to do what they want ( I am assuming) why not show some support for a woman who is going through the same thing so many of us deal with on a daily basis?

If she can’t join that group , then where can she turn to?

Personally at this point while I understand fighting for equality which I am huge supporter of , I don’t know why Ashley Broadway would even want to be a part of this group or anyone after her at this point. I get all it takes is one person to make a change but honestly would there truly be any support there? Am I and the people who share my thoughts making assumptions in thinking that it’s just the leaders of the group who don’t want her or anyone who is gay there? Would the regular members accept her? I feel like there would always be that elephant in the room.

At the end of the day it seems like military tradition (regardless of DADT being repealed) is still finding it’s way into groups on post and nothing is being done under the excuse that it’s a private group.

Ashley just know you’re welcome here with the Army Wife 101 crowd any day. Sometime last year I had the boyfriend of a gay soldier email me and ask would it be okay for him to join my fan page. It broke my heart that he felt he had to ask could he be part of a public page for fear of being shunned.

I can assure anyone of a different sexuality there is no shunning here whether you are the service member or spouse. My husband always said if someone is shooting at me and a fellow comrade can help me or save me , the last thing I am going to think about is what the hell their sexual orientation is!

Amazing to think the Marines have showed up the Army by making it mandatory for same sex couples who are married to be allowed entry to these types of clubs. No wonder my husband always claims his Marine Corps and has it tattooed to his arm. Right is right folks!

Is this group within their rights to not to include Mrs. Broadway in their community of spouses ? 

Many of my comments posted on this topic are done on the AW101 FB Fan Page. Click Here to see what other spouses are saying about this.

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  1. Angie Drake says:

    Just wanted to share the piece I wrote about this situation as well… I address the legal issues a little bit. I think the spouses on that board might be opening themselves for a court case. http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/01/16/1179400/-General-Allyn-of-Ft-Bragg-paving-the-way-for-more-discrimination

  2. I love your last paragraph and have always said the same thing! I don’t care who they are, what they are, color, religion, or sexual orientation, if they are fighting side by side with my husband then that’s all I care about and I thank them. Same with their spouse/partner, I thank them for all they do back here on the homefront. We all go through the same feelings straight or gay with deployments and wanting to fit in with our peers. I hope she finds a group of supportive families who take her in as she is with no judgement and help her cope with the separation of her loved one <3

  3. Yes. Well said, as always. It’s so frustrating that spouses can’t band together, regardless of sexual orientation, and support each other. You don’t think she suffers the same when her partner is away? It’s just ridiculous that this is even an issue right now when we have so many bigger issues (like the economy and how our servicemembers are going to get paid!) Let’s group TOGETHER and figure out those issues that really matter!

  4. Well they can change their name to “miserable bitches united” then do as the please. They want to call themselves The Association of Bragg Officers’ Spouses then they are naming themselves to represent the Bragg Officers’ spouses and need to suck it and should have let Mrs. Broadway be a member. Either you associate yourself with the military and follow the can not discriminate based on sexual orientation or you take away the association have a little clique and be done with it.

    I am not suprised though. I had a friend (male) whose wife was deployed. He was judged, ignored and excluded because he was a husband not a wife.

  5. I think everyone is missing the biggest point here. She is not allowed membership because she does not have a dependent military card. Why does she not have a dependent military card? Because the DOD allows same-sex marriage but does not recognize same-sex marriage. She gets no priviliges or benefits from being married to a service member. No tricare, no commissary or px, etc. Instead of going after this spouses club that is operating based on it’s membership requirements, go after the Military who is the real bad guy in this situation.

  6. Scenarios like this are one of the main reasons why I don’t frequent other FB community pages. It isn’t because I think I am better then anyone else, but it’s because I don’t have time for the pettiness and the lack of understanding some spouses tend to have on there. If you go on any community expect others to share their opinions. You don’t have to like it but really to cause arguments because someone doesn’t agree with you is beyond immature.

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