A few weeks ago I wrote a post called the “10 Types of Military Wives“. My husband thought it was hilarious and said it made him think of the types of soldiers and Marines he has encountered in his 14 year military career. From there he came up with “The 8 Types of Soldiers (enter your branch)”.
I have never been in the military so I can’t say I can vouch, but I would love to know how close these comparisons come.
Remember it is all in fun folks , so don’t get your PT shorts in a wad!
1.To Damn Highly Motivated Soldier
This is the soldier who wants to jump out of planes, jump out of fox holes and will do all the jobs that nobody else wants too. They volunteer for everything. He usually tries to motivate others and picks the wrong time to want to be frickin motivating! He is not really an arse kisser though, he just genuinely is super hooah for no damn reason lol!
2.The Health Nut/PT Stud
This dude lives and breathes PT and working out. He is a protein shake addict and eats protein bars and brings his health food to work. He is for some reason the one who always gets picked to lead PT and do P90x on the day the majority of the group just wants to do a few leisure laps around the track and some jumping jacks. You can usually catch him looking at your burger or breakfast sandwich though!
3.GI Joe Cool
Laid back no matter how stressful or intense the situation may be. 9 out of 10 times the majority of the soldiers like to be around him because he/she actually knows how to talk and treat people like a human being and is fair. Easily relates to others!
This is the soldier who is not usually a prick but no one really likes them because they always want to stay and work. They are the type that 10 minutes before it is time to leave for the day will find 5 extra things that they think should be done. They usually are divorced or have no outside life and so they have nothing but time to work over time. This type of soldier is usually the cause of angry wives wondering why their husbands can never seem to be home in time for dinner!
5.The Butthole/The Prick
This is the soldier who probably got picked on in high school and now that he has a job that puts him in a position of power, he makes everyone elses life hell. He is usually not liked by many and the focal point of many jokes. In some cases this person is also just arrogant and likes to be a jerk to others.
This type of soldier means no harm but somehow always finds something to screw up. He is usually a young new soldier and as annoying and pissed as he can make you , you usually wind up taking them under your wing well because you kinda feel bad at them for being so clumsy and doofus like. Watch the show!
7.The Ass Kisser
Does this one really need an explanation? This is the soldier who who constantly kisses up to any higher ranking figure who he thinks can advance his career. Hell we all do a little butt kissing but this person over does it.
8.The Platoon Comedian
This soldier finds everything funny and can make anything funny even when it’s time to be serious. They are usually the center of attention at all platoon and unit functions and usually have the biggest mouth. They are usually the comic relief needed when morale is low!
Which one are you (or your spouse)?
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