It had been 15 long months of that stupid deployment. I had suffered countless sleepless nights. Some of them attributed to me worrying about him over “there” and other times was because I was a stay at home mom who took naps throughout the day , making for some long lonely nights.
Then the day came and he came home. After all those months of being sick with worry, bored , lonely and a bitch at times my husband was home. I was so excited that first day and we did all the things most military families do when their loved one comes home.
Then for the next two or three nights after his arrival I freaking cried when he was sleeping. I swear I felt like I had that bit of post partum depression you get after you have a baby. You cry for no freaking reason because essentially your body is getting back to normal.
That is how I felt. For fifteen months I had suppressed alot of feelings because I had two kids I had to care for and who I didn’t want to upset. In addition to that I had a husband who while by we were very honest with each other about how we were feeling, I didn’t really want to put that burden on him.
I remember the first night while he slept I literally just laid next to him and boohooed. Yes I was crying because I was happy he was home and that he was home safe.
But I really believe that I was crying because I was a bit overwhelmed with him being home now. I also was going to sleep sound again, I wasn’t going to have to worry anymore (at least for another year or two), I was going to finally have a break from my kids and most of all I wasn’t going to be alone and life could go back to normal.
I equated it to being pregnant for all those months, going through all the pains and emotions of a pregnancy and then finally giving birth and taking the baby home. It’s alittle overwhelming at first and you cry for so many reasons and no reason at all. Then finally you fall into the swing of things and things then become normal again.
Have you suffered from Postpardumployment Depression?
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