After years of trying to get back to my pre pregnancy body shape, I finally realized that I was fighting a losing battle. I attained the weight I was before having children, but somehow it doesn’t sit in the same places as it did before. I work out like I’m training for the Olympics and I eat pretty healthy, but my body still doesn’t look like it did when I was in my twenties. My arms are bigger, and my boobs are smaller! How does that happen? And why does everyone have an opinion? Generally speaking, I think women, spend too much time judging each other. We tend to spend too much time comparing ourselves to others and giving ourselves unrealistic expectations.
For example, I had a job interview and my “friend” expected me to be able to still fit the business clothes I had in my closet. I think I knew I couldn’t fit any of those clothes, but I tried them on anyway. This is where the craziness begins. This is when I realized the mirror hadn’t been lying to me, and this is also when I realized I own way too many yoga pants!
Because I worked in corporate America (before I decided to stay home) I still have a lot of business suits. Unfortunately, they didn’t fit the way I once remembered. To be more specific, the zippers wouldn’t zip over my rear end. From the front, I looked great! Oh, I could do big things as long as I didn’t turn around. From the back, I looked like I had squeezed myself into one of my 6 yr old daughter’s skirts! I’m almost positive my butt was swollen, because I don’t remember it being that big! The weird part about this, is the waist of the skirts all fit! And the suit pants fit as if they were bell bottom leggings. They were legging tight around the butt and thighs, and then they flared at the knee. These clothes were all still in style, it was my body that had changed. Mentally I know I still wear a size 2 ,it’s just that a size 6 would feel so much better.
The number size doesn’t really matter. We know that women come in all shapes and sizes. The important thing is what you see when you look in the mirror. When I looked in the mirror I saw everyone else’s disappointment. I saw all the pressure and expectations from other people. The pressure to not gain too much weight during my pregnancy (even though I had twins). The pressure of losing all the baby weight; and the expectation of being super sexy when my hubby comes back from deployment.
The truth is, everyone else’s opinion of me is their business, not mine! I like feeling like I won’t be blown away in a wind storm. I like my new found curves, and oh my goodness, I love Spanx! There is something beautiful about the perfect imperfections of a woman’s body, especially those that have children. My “muffin top” is reminder of how I successfully carried twins to term, turned around and had another baby when the word miscarriage was written in my file way too many times.
I say we should embrace our physical differences and try and find peace with it. Change what you want to change, but do it because you want to, not because it’s expected. Hell, the only thing I’m changing is the date of my interview so I can go buy a new suit that fits!
Do you embrace yourself the way you are, or do you feel pressure to make physical changes?
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