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 Republished: Today is payday in the military world so I thought I would re-share these fun fictional rules for shopping in the commissary.

I am always thinking of the craziest stuff . I’m just random and sometimes my random thoughts find themselves turned into a blog post , a tweet or a Facebook update.

Today I was thinking if I could make an announcement on the loud speaker in the commissary with rules for shopping in there what would they be.

Here is what I came up with .

Kids

1. All rugrats and crumb snatchers must be attached to a cart in someway shape or form. Antibacterial gels are attached to the carts but we would still prefer that you don’t let your child dig wedgies or pick their noses and then touch the grapes and apples as if it’s the cutest thing.

The Aisles

2. The middle of the aisle is not your socialization spot nor is it a parking spot for your cart, please be considerate of the patrons who are shopping and want to get the hell out of the commissary because of people like you .

Check Writing

3. If you know you are writing a check to pay for your order please have the check already filled out instead of waiting until the very end . The commissary doesn’t change it’s name and you don’t need permission to sign your signature ahead of time.

The Line

4. When the electronic voice at the registers says “Next please” Goooooo! Please don’t look around as if you are shocked that you are next in line.

Self Check Out

5. The “Self Checkout” is not for you to ring up two weeks worth of groceries. It has a limit sign for a reason. Furthermore if you don’t know how to use the “Self Checkout” please don’t choose payday to give yourself “Self Checkout 101”.

If you could , what rules would you give people military spouses shopping in the commissary?

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Krystel is the mom of two and an Army Wife. In addition to Army Wife 101 she is the Co-Founder of SoFluential.com a digital media agency that connects brands with the military market. She has appeared on MSNBC ,FOX LA and formerly was a weekly contributor to HLN's "Raising America". She has written for various outlets including Sheknows and Lifetime and is a big fan of cupcakes and french fries.

125 Comments on Attention Commissary Shoppers: Army Wife 101’s Rules for Shopping in the Commissary

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