I am one of those people who while not judgemental I get bored and become very analytical for fun. While chatting on the phone with one of besties

( fellow Army wife) Tye from Diary of A Chic Mommy, we begin to discuss the types of military wives that exist.

By listening to others experiences and our own combined we for fun came up with a list of the types of wives that we have seen through out our travels as military spouses.

For the record we are very well aware that these types of wives exist in all facets of life but since this is a military spouse lifestyle blog I geared it towards us LOL!

Oh and this is all in fun people!

The I Am Hooah Hear Me Roar Wife

This is the wife that’s life revolves around any and all things military. She was probably a military brat , swears she knows everything about military life, cooks and bakes for all the military functions even the ones she’s not invited to and wears “I’m an insert branch here” Wife tee shirts. She goes to every single FRG meeting and genuinely has a passion for the military life and is most likely not mean but just a tad bit annoying and competitive.

Hi What’s Your Husband’s Rank Before I Ask Your Name Wife

This is the wife that is obsessed with her husband’s rank and yours too. Matter of fact she is so obsessed with it that you probably won’t have to worry about being friends with her unless your spouse is her husband’s rank or above.  She may or may not be involved in the FRG but if she is it’s usually for the position of authority more then actually wanting to be of help. She is usually a one-upper.

It’s All About My Kids Wife

This is the wife whose most likely a stay at home wife and her everyday life and world revolves around her kids. She attends every school function, volunteers at the base school, and her kids are probably in every activity on post. This person usually has 2+ kids. She usually knows and is the go to person if you want to get involved in an activity on the base and knows all the in’s and outs.

The Must Prove I Had A Life Before The Military Took It Wife

This wife is usually very educated or was probably in the military before and is having a hard time adjusting to the fact that they may have been forced or chose to give up their career. Their primary way of coping with it is to make sure that in almost every conversation they give you their full resume and educational history.

The Neighborhood Patrol Wife

This is the wife that can tell you everything that is happening or has happened in the neighborhood. You almost want to be their friend because who doesn’t want to know if something unsafe is happening where you live, but then you realize they are the type that knows to much. They usually sit outside at various times throughout the day and take it upon themselves to report everything to housing or the MP’s they don’t agree with. Don’t let hubby’s friend come to fix your car during a deployment because most likely you will be having an affair after this neighbor sees you! Avoid telling this type of wife anything going on in your life.

The Hermit Wife

This is the wife that you know exists but you never see because they rarely leave the house. When they do it’s only to go grocery shopping and pick the kids up from school . They will exchange pleasantries but they rarely have friends and don’t choose to be bothered with socializing.

The Complainer

This is the wife that always has something wrong. She is usually a hypochondriac or is going to turn her kids into one. They usually call their husband’s command because their husband is not coming home at 5pm on the dot and they demand to know why they have to work so late. The military never does right by her and makes her life hell. Any and everything that can go wrong for someone usually happens to her and if you come in contact with her prepare the ear plugs because she is going to give you the run down.

The I Got My Own Life Wife

This is the wife that is either works, goes to school or has her own business and really doesn’t have time for small talk about things happening on base. She will accompany her husband to his ball and cares about his career but she draws a line because she has her own thing going on. She is usually a cool chickie but is hard to be friends with because she is busy with her career and hardly has time for socializing.

The Balanced & Can Be Friends With Anyone Wife

This is the wife that is just cool, calm collected and not falling apart and life is what it is to her. She is one of the best types of military wives to be friends with because she has no heirs about her, is non-judgemental and could care less what your husband’s rank is. She will respect you as long as you respect her but has no issues checking a bitch so don’t cross her.

The Veteran Wife

This  is the wife whose spouse has been in 15+ years or more, has seen it all and been there done that. She normally hangs with people only her age or older and like the Balanced Wife will check you pretty easily. She looks forward to her husband’s retirement and settling down in one spot. They are usually part of the FRG but is usually one of he coolest ones on the FRG and tends to come off as a mother figure.

Did I miss a type of wife…do you fit one of these?




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Krystel is the mom of two and an Army Wife. In addition to Army Wife 101 she is the Co-Founder of SoFluential.com a digital media agency that connects brands with the military market. She has appeared on MSNBC ,FOX LA and formerly was a weekly contributor to HLN's "Raising America". She has written for various outlets including Sheknows and Lifetime and is a big fan of cupcakes and french fries.

62 Comments on The 10 Types of Military Wives…See If You Know One!

  1. I’m a cross between the have my own life wife, and the friends with anyone wife. I have a friend who is the always complaining wife and one who is the I must prove I had a life before the military wife. She is always telling her life story to everyone! So funny! Thanks for brightening my day :)

  2. Meh, cross between the Hermit wife ( to avoid the negative wives listed ) and the The Balanced & Can Be Friends With Anyone Wife…as long as your not one of the for mentioned negative wives. I tend to keep a close knit group of friends who are non judgmental and will stick up for one another if need be.

  3. Hahahaha I started out as “The Must Prove I Had A Life Before The Military Took it wife” but I have slowly morphed into the “The Balanced & Can Be Friends With Anyone Wife” because life is to short to sweat the past and we have to make do with what we have to work with now.

  4. Very cute … seen them, hopefully fit in the last two. Although as one who’s hubby has been in more than 15 I most certainly do not hang out with people only my age lol AND retirement is kinda scary actually

  5. I’d say I’m a combination of The Balanced Can be friends with anyone (well almost anyone lol) and Veteran Wife. We’re on the cusp of retirement and even just a year ago the thought of retirement scared me, but now that we’re in the midst of making it real, it’s exciting and such a relief.

  6. Interesting! I used to be the Balanced type, but then we PCS’d and moved off post. Now I’m more like a Hermit wife tho I’d LOVE to revert back to my old balanced self. Duty Stations and surrounds play a huge part, in my opinion.

  7. I’m the Balance wife. the first spouse club meeting I went to they asked my husbands rank. I said what’s that? From then on out I have nothing to do with spouses clubs. And I’m the crazy one like to have fun with everyone, but as it says be a bitch and I will check your bitch. lol

  8. What about “civillian to army life wife” these are the wives who have never been apart of the military but think because they married a soldier the military owes them, they are also the ones who sport ACU patterned every thing for themselves and their children, they are the ones now obsessed with the military life…. :-D love this post!

  9. Nicole, I was a civilian to army life wife but never fit your description! I never knew anyone in the military and was thrown into this lifestyle. I am patriotic now after I realized how hard it is to be a military spouse and I am proud to wear and sport patriotic stuff. To an extent, the military owes us, spouses for the sacrifices to support our soldier and the military. Anyways, I am a mixed of a few. I am a balanced wife but I am the busy wife as well coz I am trying to better myself in going back to school and yes I am a mom that goes to all my kids function because most of the time I am the only one that is the one that can support them since my husband deploys so much!

  10. All right! Props to you for nailing it. I didn’t know I was a meme, but I am the “The Must Prove I Had A Life Before The Military Took It Wife.”

  11. I am a combo of the last 3. “The I got my own life wife”, “The balance & can be friends with anyone wife” and “The Veteran Wife”. I don’t have friends by age though.. It’s more of by who the person is or how they are. I walk away from the drama and the I know everything the army type people. No one knows everything.. Besides it changes so quick and they are not active duty so how could they know. When the wives come into my office here and act like they know everything or so and so told them this and that I tell them everyone situation is different. Make up their mind for themselves. My favorites are the ones that come to meetings with their husbands and are telling them their job, though they have never been active. I was a military brat also and I would never claim to know anything that has to do with being active duty military. I am a civilian worker for the Army. I know my job only.. Not theirs. If they want their orders cut.. I’m their person. :)

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  18. The hippie wife!
    Doesn’t really socialize with many families from the same crew but hunts down those from any near by base/post that have her similar interests. The wives that only go to events where other lactating moms will be whipping out boobs or concerned if the host has separate cans for trash and compost.

  19. I am a “lost my mind long time ago but sits back and enjoy at least the free show living on base” Wife
    she has many friends,knows they all have something wrong with them but don’t we all after being married to the army, dresses how ever she wants to because people run their mouths anyways and some of the out of shape wifes are just hating, is shocked because every time she thinks she has seen it all and heard it all something more shocking comes along, wonders why some of the army wifes that she knows have not been shot by there husbands yet, she wonders why some of the “not first” wifes always blame the “ex” wife for everything and than wonder why history repeats itself, never wants anything to do with the FRG never ever, admits to minding not just her own business but come on understands her being judged and thinks it is funny

  20. you forgot to mention the (Slut money hungry wife) who cheats on their husband every time their husband is deployed and spends all of his money while hes gone on a bunch of crap.

  21. Mostly hermit with a little Veteran thrown in. Literally, veteran; did 10 years active and 10 reserve in the AF.

    Kate, maybe they were trying to be PC when they didn’t mention the slut money hungry wife! But yeah, I’ve seen those, too!

    Adena, I HEAR YOU!! I’m going on 48 and the nearest to my age in my neighborhood is…30? 31?

  22. What about the army reserves wife? He’s gone every other year leaving us behind because we can’t go along.

  23. I’m a hermit/got my own life wife. Mostly like to keep to myself and do my own thing, but I’ll be friendly with people if their crazy matches mine.

  24. How about the “Always a Civilian Wife”. This is the spouse that just doesn’t get all of the rules and regulations of being a military spouse. Like if you need to make a medical appointment for a child, you can’t make it for 6-weeks out – because the scheduling system doesn’t look that far out. Or when you have to PCS without your soldier (because he’s deployed) and they ask you for his permission to PCS. Like I wanted to PCS anyway! Or when we got married and I decided not to change my last name and the ID card lady acted like I wasn’t in the room and gave my husband a lecture about how he should take control of his wife. Or when you plop your 3-ring binder full of permissions down and they know your husband knows you just don’t get it and gave you everything you needed in one place to carry with you everywhere.

  25. Sorry to grammar check you, but I assume you would want to know. The phrase is to “put on airs” or in this case, “has no airs about her.” “Has no heirs” means she doesn’t have any kids to inherit her estate.

  26. I found this article entertaining to say the least. I did notice something though. Its all about HIS wife or her HUSBAND or HES the one in the military. In this day and age men aren’t the only ones joining the military or getting deployed. There are stay at home dads and civilian husbands that support their military wives. To single them out, is saying they are less than or aren’t just as supportive. I understand the purpose of the article but maybe we need to broaden our horizons just a bit.

    • Thank you. I am a female Marine and my mother is a Col. In the Army and even though my father is a veteran, he has been a military husband for years now.

  27. I only have a few a friends. I hate drama
    and a lot the wives are a lot younger than me. We just moved to Okinawa, so I haven’t made any friends yet. Right now all I do is take care of my 4 kids, husband, household, and go to the gym 5-6 times a week.

  28. Lets not forget the wife that has to have to world know, she’s an army (or whatever branch) wife. You can spot them a mile away because their car is loaded with “Proud Army Wife”, “Serving my country, proud military wife” and on and on. Carrying around their purse made out of ACU’s with the name patch and “their” rank and dog tags around their neck.
    All I was, was his support, the person that had his back no mater what. I was obviously interested about how his day went, but kept my nose out of HIS job at the same time. When my husband deployed, we weren’t married yet. In a serious relationship and had kids together, but I had my own home, took care of the kids, had a job and a close circle of girlfriend (some military, some not). I lived right next to the border, he was stationed in Fort Drum. I didn’t feel any need to marry him right away and certainly didn’t depend on him for ANYTHING but being my partner. Through the work week if I had a day off from work we would all stay at our apartment we had off post close to the border, and weekends he came “home” to my house in Canada. Now I’m going to share a story of the famous “Dependpotamous” When it came time for him to deploy he gave his mom POA and shared a joint account with him. I wasn’t interested in having access to any of his finances. Like I said, I worked and paid for everything that needed to be taken care of on my side. He deployed for 15 months and went through hell. He and his “brothers” were horribly ambushed leaving him and a couple others as the only survivors. Most we’re KIA, 2 were POW& just over a year later found KIA. The day of his homecoming his family travelled from TN for it, and I travelled from my house in Canada. A girlfriend tagged along with me because she was going to babysit our kids that night after dinner and take them back to my home in Canada. I made sure I paid for myself and my friend at dinner, I had pulled our waiter aside to make sure we weren’t on the same bill because I was under the impression his family was paying for everyone (6 of them including my husband) and I didn’t feel right about adding to the bill. I spent the night with my (then at the time fiancé) at our hotel (with his whole family being there, there wasn’t the space at the apartment) and I left in the morning so he could spend 4 days alone with his mom, step dad, sister and her kids. I had no problem with it because he was stationed in NY, they live in TN and I knew I would be able to see him all the time, so I wanted them to have quality time. The day they left he called to tell me he was heading out to do shopping with some buddies and would call when he was done. Well that call came sooner then expected as he called to tell me when he ran his card to pay for his stuff, he had insufficient funds. What? He was deployed for 15 months and can only spend about $25.00 every other month or so. He drove to my/our home right away in Canada and we sat and added up every single cent he spent while deployed. He spent just under $8000.00 (not all spent IN Iraq, but he would tell his mom to send me flowers, or buy gifts for one of their birthdays) it was then that he also told me he paid for the gas for his family to come from TN to NY, he paid for the hotel rooms, he paid for the first dinner the day he came home, he paid for ALL the meals the 4 days they stayed, he bought them some souvenirs, paid the gas back to TN from NY. He asked his mother where almost $30,000.00 was and she said she had no idea and didn’t like that he asked such a question. He asked for the bank statements and she said she didn’t have any and that her bank doesn’t keep records (total bull). So we did some digging. We went to BoA and got ALL. the records. His MOTHER would transfer his money on payday from their joint account to her personal account. We found out that they used his hard earned money to get hardwood floors, down payments on two vehicles, paid off some bills and kept other bills current, bought a water softener system and much more AND every care package she sent him, she bought the stuff with HIS money and sent it. However always claimed it came from her pocket. To this day she denies it all even though we have mountains of paper work proving what she did and stands by strong saying that she is an honest woman, would never lie and that BoA gave us incorrect statements. Umm, OK!
    Due to his multiple injuries from the ambush and other multiple IED strikes, he was only able to stay in the army while he “healed” ( everything happened in 2006-2007 and he still isn’t “healed”. Once he was medically honorably discharged he and I decided that we (he, our kids and I) would move to TN as its always been one of his favorite places he’s lived. We then got married and are finally living a drama free life since he cut ties with his “family”. The first year we lived here he was awaiting his VA DISABILITY rating and of course his “family” (I’m putting family in quotations because in my book, no real family would do that to their son that barely made it home) were eager to find out how much money he would be reviving. Needless to say we put an end to them being involved in our lives. They became very hateful after hearing through the grapevine that he was rated 100% total and perm. Hateful because now that the truth was out, he was no longer going to be their personal piggy bank. We think its rather funny how when he was deployed (he was from 10th Mountain, 11Bravo) his “family” never evvvvvvver complained about bills. Obviously not because they were paying for all their stuff with his hard earned money. When we moved here we bought our first home together, I got a full time job, we got two vehicles and aside from his VA benefits, we receive NO government assistance. They on the other hand have remortgaged their home 3x, dipped into their 401K, are reviving food stamps (since now out of a total of 9 people living there, 5 being adults who are fit and able to work they just choose not to…only my husbands mother works). They are the true definition of dependapotamous’!!!
    While I was SO proud of my husband while he was active duty, I didn’t feel the need to display it all over the world. I didn’t claim his rank because *I DIDN’T EARN IT!* , he did.
    Fast forward to today I am his only support system aside from the few “battle buddies” that made it through deployment. I take care of him when he is unable to care for himself (baths, cooking, dressing etc) due to a bad pain day. I am the one that fought the VA tooth and nail for him to get the rating HE deserved. I am not just his wife but his legal caregiver so the VA does pay me for that (which that I had never heard of and certainly wasn’t looking to get paid for taking care of him and could go without but they said i was “entitled” to it. A word i hate using. Just because HE fought in a war and HE is now disabled, in my books, it doesn’t mean I’m entitled to anything. I didn’t start a relationship with him nor did I marry him because of his uniform (although he looked pretty handsome I must say lol), his rank or to have the status of being with a soldier. Something I’ve seen many women do. Tag whores. I fell in love with the man underneath the uniform. Since being home for good now I have done everything I can to make his life as easy as I can. Aside from having to nurse him when he is having a bad pain day, I went and had one of our dogs, the one he loves most evaluated and then trained and he is now my husbands certified service dog. Something I thought would benefit him in a big way. Ever since deployment he is a totally different man and the things we used to enjoy doing were now out of the question due to his severe PTSD, TBI and Anxiety (just a few of his disabilities). Now that our dog is his service dog, life for our family has drastically and positively changed. He is now able and comfortable going outside the house because he has his boy with him at all times (he’s also been very helpful at night as he is trained to sense when my husband is having a nightmare/terror and will turn the light on and gently wake him and place a paw on my husband). During the day if he senses a panic attack coming he will lean his body on my husband and put a paw on my husbands foot to relax him and it truly works. Ever since having our dog trained for my husband I decided that this is what i want to do. I want to help vets. My husband also likes being able to help fellow vets out when it comes to the VA and helping them with the whole process. So together we’ve turned his heartache into what will be his legacy and are just in the beginning stages of starting our own non profit organization to help vets out with VA, and also help those in need to be paired with a service dog. Instead of dwelling on the horrible things his family did to him, reliving all the heartache he has and the hurt he feels daily, we want to pay it forward and do what WE can to help a fellow vet and active duty as well. Be their support system and help THEM through their struggles in any way we can. Yes our relationship started with him as a soldier, but I didn’t fall in love with the soldier or the uniform and I certainly didn’t broadcast it to the world with car decals and purses made from ACU’s. I fell in love with the man outside of the uniform. I then married that same man I fell in love with that now happens to be a disabled veteran. I don’t hold rank. I don’t hold any claim to the awards he has received for doing what he did for his family and country. I have no right to. The women that do that disgust me. Only thing I brag about is that I’m SO blessed to have been given such an amazing man that I get to call my husband, most wonderful father, my best friend and life partner. Solider or not. Veteran or not. I’m the luckiest woman in the world!
    My apologies for this post being sooooo terribly long and for jumping from one topic to another. If none of it makes sense because I jumped from one thing to another….I blame it totally on the fact that its currently 3:40 am ;)
    To all the stand up wives out there, keep doing what your doing :-) and to all the ones sucking the life out if these guys and the tag whores/chasers…go find a new hobby.
    Have a great night!

  29. Correction to something I said. “He could only spend $250.00 every couple months. Not $25.00, forgot a 0 lol

  30. I am the balanced wife on the verge of hermit, lol.. Stuck out here at lost in the woods, on our way back to Hawaii (hurray)!! I am from Hawaii (born & raised) and can’t wait till I can work again.!!

  31. How about the “I can’t maintain a friendship with more than one or two people at a time for a month or so” wife? The one that bounces from friend to friend and leaves you hanging when she gets bored with you?

  32. I don’t feel that any wife would be able to place themselves correctly (everytime) into a ‘type’. I think this is one for an evening out with the girls to discuss as a group. Some of us may have a surprise coming! ;o

  33. I’m Meeks from Canada. My husband left me for no reason on 24th of June 2011. He moved in with another woman, I felt like killing myself. I’ve tried different spell casters and went to different churches to pray but all to no avail. My life was very bitter and sorrowful. Then one day, a friend of mine told me about a a woman called mother Esango. he said she gave him some lucky numbers that he played in a lottery and he won 5 fives consecutively. I didn’t believe it because I’ve worked with so many of them and it didn’t work. He begged me further so I decided to try this great woman called Esango. I contacted her and I gave her the necessary information. after the days which she gave me, the next day which was on the 29th of July, I received a call and it was my darling husband Peter. He apologized and came back to me crying for a second change and he even gave me money to start up a business as a means of compensating me on that very day before leaving. I’m now a very a happy woman and our marriage vows were renew again and ever since he has shown me love like never before. Thank you dear mother Esango, I will forever be grateful to you. You can reach her on her email:esangoshrine@gmail.com. she will solve any problem you are facing now. Try her today and share your own testimony. i know some people will look at it in the other way round, don’t ever hide your problem, because if you do, you will never find the solution. also share your problem with friends, they might be of help to you. thanks for taking your time to read my testimony.

  34. While this was an interesting article, the grammer and punctuation wasn’t so great, which made some of it hard to follow.

  35. How about the Household 07/ Kitchen 06 wives who wear their husbands’ ranks. Every confrontation revolves around one central question “Do you know who MY husband is???!!!” I really have to be like “B-word take a nap! No one cares!”

    Hmm…I almost feel a rant coming on lol!

  36. How about the duel service wife. Or the I hate all women in tne military because I’m insecure wife. Or my favorite the my husband is a “high rank” wife so salute me. Ps ladies as a US Marine, please get your own life. You shouldn’t define yourself based on what your husband doesn…..

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