You may have heard that former Army General David Petraeus has resigned from his position as Director of the CIA after it was revealed that he had an affair with the women who wrote his biography ,Paula Broadwell. In addition another well known military official General John Allen (Commander of Our Forces in Afghanistan) has been named involved in this love triangle along with Tampa , Florida socialite Jill Kelly. Somehow (we will find out as this unfolds) these situations are all connected.

Quite frankly I am in awe watching all of this deception and drama unfold. I feel for the former General’s wife because how awful is it for anyone to find out the man you are married to cheated with a woman who apparently got to know his entire family since she was writing a book on him.

On his part how stupid was it to not only to cheat but do it in the position of power he was in.

That being said I was talking to some milspouse friends online and this topic came up … Should a person who has such an impeccable record of service to our country be forced to resign from his job?

For those who wondering what in the heck this has to do with anything, in the military it is a violation of the UCMJ (Article 134, General Article) to commit adultery. There is a lot involved with that but that is the basic violation. Military personnel who partake in such could possibly face certain consequences, although this crap happens all the time with no type of punishment issued.

I personally have conflicting opinions about this within myself. On one hand the common sense side of me says why should someone lose their job especially if they have a clean record of service to their country .I feel like this is a personal issue and should be between him and his family. Everyone regardless if you cheat or not still has to be able to support themselves, so is losing your job really beneficial? I get that in his position of leadership and authority proper conduct is everything but I still feel like one has nothing to do with the other.

The military spouses pretty much agreed that when something like this happens that the emotion in you wants the cheater to face consequences for what he did. The downside is that many spouses are solely supported by their service member and reporting them for adultery (if you truly have proof because as I said there’s alot that goes into that situation) could boomerang on you and the financial security of your family. So what does one do , is the question that lingers out there for many military spouses because it is so evident to me that this is a huge problem in the military.

Disclosure I am aware it happens in the “real world” but for the sake of this article we are talking military life.

As I am writing this post I am watching “The Talk” and one of the hosts who served in the military stated she is not defending General Petraeus but she can see why it happens in the military . She said you long for the letters, you worry about not coming home and it can cause these things to happen ( I am paraphrasing).

My question of discussion is do you think military personnel are to a degree validated when they have an extramarital affair and should spouses seek to have their soldiers face consequences for adultery ?

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Krystel is the mom of two and an Army Wife. In addition to Army Wife 101 she is the Co-Founder of a digital media agency that connects brands with the military market. She has appeared on MSNBC ,FOX LA and formerly was a weekly contributor to HLN's "Raising America". She has written for various outlets including Sheknows and Lifetime and is a big fan of cupcakes and french fries.

14 Comments on *GASP* Petraeus Scandal Brings Up Infidelity In the Military ….Should We Give A Pass?

  1. Punishment should fit the crime, nobody deserves a “pass”. Cheating is disgusting and shameful. I feel awful for his wife. God bless her!

  2. I do not believe they are ‘validated’. Just because military marriage is difficult, doesn’t mean commitment means less. However, we all make mistakes, sometimes terrible ones, and GRACE can always be applied. Any wife that ‘seeks to have their soldier face consequences’ through military legal action might first want to consider their own commitment to the marriage and the power that forgiveness and grace can have in strengthening a marriage, even one that has experienced adultery.
    As for the leaving/loosing the job… not sure how I feel about that.

  3. The consequences are written in regulation. As long as its regulation then it needs to be followed through. The part that makes this so horrible and punishable is that they were caught. Not that he was sorry for what he did and came clean. I believe if the latter were the case then possibly it should not have to effect their job. You see it over and over again in the military where people cheat. Some are caught and punished and others confess and seek forgiveness and do not face military consequences. No affair should ever be validated. You do not need sex to survive loneliness and stress of separations. So many people marry for the wrong reasons and do not take marriage seriously and it is very sad. They think it is all about them and their needs and if they arent met then they can just go get it somewhere else. That is completely selfish and wrong. So after writing all that, my answer is a profound NO. Extramarital affairs are NEVER validated no matter what the circumstances; military or non. My thoughts and prayers go out to GEN Petraeus and his wife as they face the many struggles ahead. GEN Petraeus has always been a great Soldier and it does just go to show that everybody is human. Everybody can fall no matter where they may be at in life. So do everything you can to protect yourself and your marriage. “Don’t be that guy or girl” as they in ASAP. lol.

  4. I keep hearing about this and it’s a shame. I hope all parties involved are punished. That’s just awful. I feel sorry for Petraeus’ family.

  5. I think as a general rule the “consequences” should be dealt with within the family. This is a personal matter and should be handled as such. Of course, military regulations (unlike the real world) have made this a criminal act and therefore it is a violation of his job more than just a moral violation of his marriage. The other job-related factor is that he committed the act using CIA time and resources (and there are even reports that they conducted their affair in his office). For that reason, he should lose his job even if it wasn’t a code violation – you do not use “company” time and resources for personal matters.

    I don’t think the military should continue to have “laws” regarding affairs. It’s personal and none of their damn business. And it can be very dangerous (in situations of separation and divorce, where nothing is final yet, but the service-member starts a new relationship – that can be considered a violation the way the law is written.) Let the families address the affair how they need to for their family and keep the matter private.

    Oh, and I don’t care if “military life adds strain to a marriage making it easier to cheat.” Many couples manage to stay together, faithfully, and regardless of military challenges, if you’re marriage is subject to an affair, the issues are deeper than the military anyway!

  6. If any one really thinks this is all about affairs than you are not paying attention. This all has to do with Obama having blood on his hands for Benghazi and now Hillary Clinton and Petraeus are all fall guys. This John Allen guy is just a victim of it all.

  7. I think that every spouse should make the decision for themselves in choosing what to do in their particular case. Holding David Patraeus up as an example of anything makes no sense. He and his wife are only human, just like the rest of us. Instead, look to God for guidance and follow your heart. If this happens to you, only you will know how you feel and how much effort you want to put forth to save the marriage.

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