Facebook recently rolled out it’s Look Back video montage celebrating 10 years and when I viewed mine, I teared up. I saw a status rejoicing that first Skype date I had with my husband overseas, pictures of my husband’s home- coming, our family together and it got me thinking. I suddenly found myself reflecting on what I’ve learned in the last 4 1/2 years as a military spouse. I’m still learning the ropes, but here’s what I’ve discovered in my short time as an Army wife.


It’s never going to be fair

The Army or whatever branch your spouse is serving in will ALWAYS come first. There will be late nights at the motor pool, 24 staff duty or CQ, out in the field for weeks, unaccompanied assignments, deployments, etc. Imagine your spouse just getting home from a deployment then shortly afterwards you PCS to a new duty station and soon find out another deployment isn’t that far away. It happens and it’s not fair. There’s no sense in complaining, it’s not going to get you anywhere. I’ve learned to “embrace the suck” and commence the “hurry up and wait” attitude that I’ve adopted since the day my husband left for basic training.

It’s never going to be easy

Nothing in military life comes with instructions or guide to go by. Often it’s leaving everything you’ve ever known behind and moving to new city, state or country. It’s learning how to survive on your own during a deployment, learning what all a PSC involves or even making new friends. There’s no telling what military life might throw at you. I’ve found that it’s best just to go into whatever situation with a positive attitude and try to make the best of it.

It’s never going to be boring

For me, military life has been one big adventure. It’s given me the opportunity to travel all over the U.S., meet lots of great people and discover all the things that I never thought I was capable of doing. Just because this might not be the life you envision living, try and make the most of it.

It’s never going to be without it’s ups and downs

That’s right, military life isn’t always going to be perfect. There will be times when you ask yourself “What the heck have I gotten myself into?”.  I believe it’s totally worth it when you finally get that long awaited kiss and hug after months of staring at a computer screen.

What are some lessons you’ve learned as a military spouse? 


Nikki is an Army wife currently living in Fort Drum, New York and is originally from central North Carolina. She is married to her husband of 11 years, mother of two boys, ages 6 & 8 and the newest addition to their family is a rescued Weimaraner named, Hunter. She enjoys cooking, reading, traveling, long walks on the beach and addicted to the soft drink, Cheerwine. 



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3 Comments on Lessons Learned As A Military Spouse

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