So I haven’t ever had a really crazy military wife experience well kind of but not really. Anyway I have had those friends (or should I say associates) who have judged me  and acted weird when their spouse is around. It’s complicated but watch the video and let me know if you have ever had a similar situation.

PS: I look so damn raggedy in this video lol!




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Krystel is the mom of two and an Army Wife. In addition to Army Wife 101 she is the Co-Founder of a digital media agency that connects brands with the military market. She has appeared on MSNBC ,FOX LA and formerly was a weekly contributor to HLN's "Raising America". She has written for various outlets including Sheknows and Lifetime and is a big fan of cupcakes and french fries.

8 Comments on Real Talk With Krystel: My Drama Filled Military Wife Experience

  1. Oh man yes. I was doing a big ole YES while you were talking lol.
    I’m a loner too, don’t get me wrong, I have “friends” and plenty aquaintances etc etc, but honestly people tire me out. I’d prefer to be a hermit in the house versus going out and trying to do everyone elses plans all day every day. I mean I have had friends who get super butthurt if we don’t hang out or even talk every week, but they don’t understand that I need ME time. I feel like I’m always trying to make everyone else happy and all that when I really just want to relax. This isn’t all the time, but sometimes, I just think, man, I wish saying no didn’t feel like I was slapping somebody in the face. and then it’s always awkward after you know? Then later it comes up in a fight, like someone’s feelings got hurt because you don’t hang out all the time even though it was never a personal thing against them. As for the friends who are so concerned, I’m a type A alpha female, so if someone’s pushing their limits with me trying to dictate my life, then I get a bit bitchy to be honest. I don’t believe anyone has the right to rule your life or your decisions and when they cross that line is usually when I cut them out of my life. I think maybe I wasn’t really meant to have too many true friends, because I honestly have no patience for the bullshit that comes with it. I’d rather be nice to complete strangers than invest my time in people who always throw your kindness and compassion and friendship back in your face.

    I must have turned into a pessimist :/

    anywho, good luck with all your stuff, hope that everything works out, in whatever capacity.


  2. I had made some friends on post when we lived overseas, most of the neighbor wives were younger than me, but they seemed okay first. I would watch one of the little girls who was around my sons age but then her mom turned out to be crazy. Lots of issues came up and I had to put my foot down and tell her I wouldn’t watch her daughter anymore. Her daughter started to call me mommy and I wasn’t comfortable with how she’d cry when I’d leave her, even if her own mother was standing nearby.
    Now that we’re at a different post, I’ve made a few new friends, and we all seem to be in the same boat with “I really just want normal friends! Not the crazy I dealt with before.” So it’s pretty funny that we all had similar issues. But like you say, if you can avoid the drama and people who create it, you’re probably safe. It’s amazing how crazy some of these people turn out to be. I know I’m a little different, but I try to be the fun crazy, not the scary-you shouldn’t have kids- kind. :)

  3. I love you Krystel!!!!!!

    I stay away from drama. I have absolutely NO FRIENDS and I have been here for 4 YEARS. I have been so kind to all of the people around me. I have a stockpile and often I gave it away to other Military Wives when the occasion arose. I was friendly and outgoing. Now I keep to myself.
    1. My neighbor across the street I gave at least $500.00 worth of food, hygeine and cleaning products. Her husband was in the hospital dying. Well good news he didn’t die. I had no idea at the time that when she would ask me and another Army wife to watch her children. She was actually at the club and having an affair. Meanwhile she was telling us she was going to visit him at the hospital.
    It seemed that others around me were having more of a difficult time. So I helped. Little did I know I was being made a fool of. I have had a dramatically different life among Military Wives in my area.

    2. My next door neighbor I*y, who I have helped out with food, clothing, MY CAR and school supplies. She and her husband live an alternate lifestyle with other couples. Now, I never judged the way they lived and I made it clear that I don’t do that all. Well, this would always be an issue in her marriage. Then she became friends with the neighbors on the other side of her who live that lifestyle. I don’t like being around alot of people, I’m nice but….There were always police there because it’s that type of house. Somehow she would tell her husband I called the police on them. Supposively I told the police that he raped her and that her husband was abusing drugs. He believed her over me. It was only after the police informed him that it was her that had put in the complaint did he say anything at all. This was just her way of getting me out of her life because now she had found a friend that could keep up with her. Instead of still just being normal, she tried to ruin my reputation among the other neighbors. Now when I go out of my house she and this girl will stand and laugh at me. I notice it most when I’m bringing groceries into my home they will make an effort and laugh whenever I go outside to my car. I’m so serious!

    3. My other neighbor across the street. Hit my car and caused $1100.00 worth of damage. We called the police. When she was confronted, she denied it. With my paint on her car, she tried to wash and scrub it off. The police came out and said in the statement that since there were no witnesses even with visiable damage they could not fault her. She literally smashed in my little hoopty with her $44,000 car. We took pictures and tried to appeal to USAA and her insurance still did nothing. When we told the neighbor next to her. They laughed about it. Said she hit the car yet refused to give a statement about her admittance.

    4. My new neighbors on the other side of me are no better. I gave her husband tons of baby food, which I had gotten for free. I met him first and understood how difficult it was for them as new Soldiers. I told him to introduce me to her when he picked her up. This would be my last and final attempt trying to be a friend. But it sucks when you have no one to go to when your lawnmower is broken, lol. Somehow, she got the wrong idea that I was nice to her husband because I wanted him. Each time I see his wife she doesn’t speak nor wave. In fact she rolls her eyes.

    I stay solo. I have tried and probably even reek of desperation to have a friend. I don’t have any kids nor do I have a job. It would be nice to have someone to coupon with. Or to take a walk with. Go to the mall with. But I have come to realize that won’t happen here. Thank God I leave in 6 months and I have learned my lesson. I have yet to meet decent people. Not perfect just decent wives. I had so much to give literally (I’m damn near a horder lol. I was couponing before the show) and emotionally. I’m thankful for the lessons learned. I’m just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Story of my life:)

  4. For a year we hung out with this woman I knew. Little did I know it would blow up in such a dramatic way. In the end she downward spiraled and started abusing her medications and ended up being charged with child endangerment. Long before then we decided not to let her watch our child anymore. I’ve tried to be friends with lots of military wives and in the end I’ve discovered very few people I really like. Honestly I’ve made more friends outside the post than inside the post. The other women act like they hate drama and then they go around and cause it. Believe me my husband and I have had our problems but these wives feel like everyone should know about it through facebook. Then they get mad when you tell them it isn’t a good idea to post stuff like that. We’re moving soon and my plan is to find one or two people I can get along with. We’re also going to be living off post so I think that will make a difference for us!

    • We have lived offpost since we got here to Fort Bragg and I promise you it has been the best thing for us. I feel normal and like I am more dealing with regular everyday people instead of being in that bubble known as onpost lol!

  5. It sounds like the “friend” was using you. When her husband came back, she didn’t need that void filled anymore. I have had that situation before. A “friend” of mine would be in a relationship with a guy. Her whole identity was about him and she would suddenly disappear. Then, when things went South, there she was wanting a shoulder to cry on. I blew it off the 1st time, but then I noticed it was a pattern. So, I cut her off.

    I also had some acquaintences when the hubby was deployed ask me who is my side piece. They swore up and down that I was cheating. Then, when I finally convinced them that I wasn’t, they actually sat there and tried to persuade me to go get a side piece. W.T.F!!! Oh and they were also filled with tips on how to not get caught and hide it.

  6. Yes! I know what you mean and you are not alone! I was not inside blogging all the time, I was finishing my undergraduate online. I left the base with one friend after three years there:)

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