While he’s away serving the county, she remains behind to take care of everything else. With the right support, an Army wife can successfully hold down the home front while staying happy and sane.

Photo Credit: Jackie Toops


Here’s what you can do to give her a hand:

10. Be proactive.

Army wives are tough cookies and won’t always ask for help. Start by asking, “What can I do?” or “How can I help?” versus “Can I do anything?”

9. Extend invitations her way.

Sometimes doing something simple, such as just running errands or cutting coupons together can be fun. Give her some much-needed company, throw in some coffee and normal chores become enjoyable.

8. Bring the fun to her.

If she has children, chances are that she’ll be on lock-down post bedtime, and evenings can be lonely. Bring over some chick-flicks, a bottle of wine and some popcorn or chocolate – it’s guaranteed to lift spirits.

7. Be active together.

Become workout buddies. Head to the gym, take a group fitness class or simply go on a walk together. You’ll both look and feel great and can capitalize on the opportunity for a deployment transformation.

6. Watch her children.

If she’s a parent, she is missing out on passing the kids off to dad. This can be one of the most difficult challenges of parenting solo, so offer to watch them, even if for an hour or two. She can use that time to run errands, clean, shower, sleep, or do nothing for sanity’s sake.

5. Hire a sitter.

It’s easy to feel trapped in the house day-in and day-out, so why not go out with her? Have a much-needed lunch, dinner, shopping trip, movie or girls’ night out together.

4. Grab things while you’re out.

Before you head to the Commissary or PX, shoot her a message to see if she needs anything. That milk and bread you can bring her may save her from a trip to the store during an exhausting week.

3. Help her with meals.

Start a meal train (such as on http://www.mealtrain.com), double up food in the slow cooker, or invite her to a BBQ at your house. Not having to cook here and there can relieve a great deal of stress during deployment.

2. Listen to her.

She may have a lot to say while venting fears, frustration and may just need to know that she’s not alone in this. Listen, support her and don’t judge. Be there in a way you’d want her to be there for you.

1. Let her thank you.

Again, Army wives can be strong and prideful women. If she wants to repay you for your kindness, let her in her own way. Maybe she reciprocates with childcare, making you a meal or inviting you to coffee. Doing so will make you both feel good.

Share below how you support a fellow military spouse during deployments or separations from their loved one?

A self-described “Jackie of All Trades,” Army wife Jackie Toops chronicles her experiences in Europe through American eyes. Born in Florida and stationed in Germany, the mother of two enjoys writing, travel, art, languages, slow cooking, and peaceful parenting. She studied Interdisciplinary Humanities, Museum Studies and Nonprofit Management, and has overseen public relations for museums, galleries and universities. Currently she is a contributing author for Wall Street International Magazine and a recurring on-air guest with AFN Wiesbaden. She’s usually seen traversing Europe with her Cannon, a coffee and two small children. Follow her on Twitter.



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