The "Soldier" With our Baby Boy 7 years ago!

In just sixteen days I will be the BIG 3-0!

So far everything I have wanted to accomplish I have except one thing which is to have another baby. At this point in my life my blog has become my career and thanks to Army Wife 101, I am getting to travel and do things that I can only do because the two children I have are school age.

Quite frankly I don’t even know if I want another baby for the reasons mentioned above. But honestly I think I have convinced myself that I don’t want another one because I am not understanding why I am not pregnant?

In 2004 I had my first baby …my son Matt. My husband had our daughter from a previous relationship and we have raised her full time since she was three. So in essence I have my boy and girl. Be it as it may, I still long to have a baby because I think we can enjoy it more since we are more stable and established then we were seven years ago.

In 2006 I became pregnant again but miscarried. I sometimes think I jinxed that pregnancy (if there is such a thing) because I would always say this pregnancy is not going to last. The truth was I felt something was off in my body, call it women’s intuition but I knew I was going to lose that baby…not that I wanted too.

So here we are six years later and I am just as confused as ever. I mean I really have a hard time understanding how one uses no contraception of any kind for six years and never once winds up pregnant. Not even once?

What could have changed in my body that would cause me to not so much as not even have an irregular period. At least then I would suspect something was wrong. I guess I will never know because if it doesn’t happen soon…I give up!

Anyone else ever have TTC type issues?



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Krystel is the mom of two and an Army Wife. In addition to Army Wife 101 she is the Co-Founder of a digital media agency that connects brands with the military market. She has appeared on MSNBC ,FOX LA and formerly was a weekly contributor to HLN's "Raising America". She has written for various outlets including Sheknows and Lifetime and is a big fan of cupcakes and french fries.

41 Comments on I Can’t Seem To Get Pregnant Anymore…But Am I Really TTC?

  1. My husband and I have been struggling to get pregnant for almost four years now. We don’t have any children and its been a long emotional road. Ive actually have started to seek a therapist and going to a fertility doctor. I won’t give up til i have a baby in my arms. Either biogicaly or through adoption.

  2. Have you been checked out for infertility issues? Secondary infertility is actually very common. Also, has you husband has a seman analysis done? We found out that my husband has low count, low motility and abnormal morphology. Only way we’d get pregnant was to do IVF. We went through a round this past October that failed. I found out then that I also have egg issues.

    • Hi Mindy!

      No I haven’t been tested but my husband has mentioned he wonders if it is him. I haven’t developed the courage to get checked out but I guess that would be the thing to do. Thanks for the information…greatly appreciated!

      • My husband and I have been trying for four years. Two years ago we started seeking the help of a fertility doctor and found out that he is the problem. Than looked into Artificial Insemination and found out that I too have problems with my eggs. I have a son from my previous marriage and got pregnant super easy so I just assumed this would always be the case. I just turned 30 in August and found out that my eggs are about that of a 40 year old woman. BOOOOOO my insides are old. Anyway, we are hoping to adopt! Our bodies are strange and I probably will never understand them. Good Luck you to and hope to hear some pregnancy news soon!

      • go get your uterus checked out. go see a fertility specialist. get your hormone levels checked. next, get an HSG to see if your tubes are open—this will also show if you have a polyp or fibroid. My doc. spotted a polyp which can prevent implantation. there are no symptoms of uterus polyps….an easy hysteroscopy will get either one out.

  3. Husband and I are having the same issues and sought help from a fertility doctor. I am now scheduled for IUI this Saturday. I felt the same way and could not understand why we couldn’t conceive anymore. Our son is 10. I found out from a fertility doc, not just an ob/gyne, that I had PCOS and elevated prolactin which was hindering my one ever told me that before. I have been doing follistim injections and have been doing quite well with them. I can let you know how hinge play out later. But yes this is something you want a specialist to check out. Also they can do a semen analysis on him as well.

    • I’ve heard so much about PCOS and too wonder if I suffer from that? Did you have any symptoms? And yes let me know how it goes.

      • As a teenager i suffered from pcos my cycles were always off whenever i had a period for me it was like having the flu it was miserable. drs told me for yrs because of the cysts on my ovaries i would never have children i was crushed, i was only 19 and was in a state of mind i wouldnt wish on anyone.. after i gave up on the metformin the pill they give pcos patients at 22 i became pregnant with my son needless to say i was shocked then 5 months after i had him i became pregnant again with my daughter. now my kids are older and i want another baby ive been trying now for about 3 months and no luck yet…. my period is all over the place and i can never tell when im ovulating… it can be frustrating

  4. I can say i understand 100% how you feel.
    . My husband and i thought we were never going to be parents. I used birth control for a couple months and once i stopped i thought for sure it would happen but nope one year went by then it was then it was three. I am pretty sure it had to be a miracle by God because i finally got pregnant after three and a half years. My husband and i were in shock that’s for sure. We now have an adorable baby boy who will be five months in a couple of days. Don’t lose hope because miracles do happen.:)

  5. we been TTC for 5 years no clue as to why I hadn’t gotten prego esp since we were using no protection i was told “you have PCOS, OH wait no you have high insulin your diabetic..wait wrong again lose weight thats the issue” after 4 years and 5 doctors later in 2010 I found a Dr who looked beyond the weight issue and actually said “OK what do we need to do to get your prego” i knew then he was “the one” lol yes sounds funny but Dr Antonio Asis out of Denton TX became my OBGYN until we PCSed to Fort Hood ( a whole new WAR here on banishing women who cannot get prego) Sept of 2010 I began the Clomid pill to help my body didn’t respond even at its highest dose but the pain alone was hard to take but worth it then in Nov 2010 after my last round of Clomid my Dr said lets run a full panel of labs to see what else may be going wrong … found out i had a Low Thyroid hence the gain weight too but I then told him Ive lost 40 pounds in 3 months so weight isn’t the issue but I said I had had enough I was drained emotionally and physically and said ENOUGH!! I got on my thyroid meds, and birth control this time to help my hormones get close to what normal is. Feb 22, 2011 was a off day for me my body for of January was going all kinds of crazy in pain to nothing i felt normal finally no pain then that day I had one sharp pain cussed a storm called my husband and said ok enough IM DONE WITH THE PAIN ER TIME after 8 hours in the ER dr says your prego I had her repeat the and double look at the blood work and she said no your about a month along me and my husband in tears because it finally happened March 20th week before he leaves I lost our baby and went to miscarrying again July 5 2011 emotionally for me a part of me will never heal because I felt I was on top of the world finally got our blessing to it being ripped from me … its been hard on us both My husband is my rock even through he has his days when he is reminded of what could have been especially when we arrived at Fort Hood Oct 2011 finally took me 3 months with patient advocacy and ICE to get a referral to see a specialist many women here at Fort Hood aren’t aware of the treatments offered so now I spend my time advocating for us Baby Dreamers as Alicia named it and on a military support page for TTC women both spouses and active duty women who seek others that understand and have been or still on this journey… for me I start Injections Feb 29th 2012 even though i know it will be painful to me its worth it … even if it all means just having 1 baby id be so thankful and grateful for my 1 baby best of luck to those ttcing :)

    • Wow Mia, I am so sorry truly am. I know how hard it has to be . My husband was away at training when I miscarried and I was beyond hurt and sad. You are right that so many women don’t know about the programs available because I am one of those women. If you would like feel free to share your group on the AW101 FB Fan page. Thank you so much for sharing your story!

      • I will and I also am sorry to hear about your loss never easy … and thank you so much and its hard but my main goal is to get it out there, make women aware of what options they have and know they are not alone :) and I am more than willing to share my story or help in any way possible

  6. Krystal…you sound like me in so many ways. I turned 30 in August and have a 6 yr old. I had a mc back in 2002; very upset but I believe everything happens for a reason even when we don’t understand it at that time. I had my daughter in 2005. My husband enlisted in 2007 and i stayed home to finish school, so we only saw each other every 3-4 months for a month or so at a time for the next year. I graduated in May 09 and moved to Colorado where we were stationed. In June I found out we were expecting and was elated…that did not last by the middle of july I had started to miscarry and again was heart broken. For the next several months we did not use any bc and never got pregnant…he deployed from march 10 until march 11..we tried on r&r and were unsuccessful. I had to hide my pain of not getting pregnant while my friend basked in her joy of finding out they were expecting an r&r baby.

    After my husband came home we tried and tried to the point that it was driving us crazy, we pcsd overseas and have been under a lot of stress. I was getting sick of the stress and my husband was starting to say he didn’t want a baby at this time. I was looking up bc options to try and reduce our stress and focus on our family and low and behold I am now expecting. My mind races and I am so nervous that I am going to miscarry again, but it’s funny how once you stop trying it just seems to happen. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and this baby is a blessing. We are both overjoyed at this moment, but cautious at the same time.

    Maybe meeting with a fertility specialist and reviewing your options can give you some answers. I’m a new nurse and trying to establish my own career, and sometimes I would ask would having a baby make me have to put my other dreams on hold. I think I can have it all as long as I balance our lives and don’t take on too much. Working full time isn’t an option, but i can work here and there and still have my independence while being a good wife and mother.

    I wish you the best of luck.

    • N,

      I am sorry for your loss. Goodness gracious these miscarriages are so heartbreaking. I agree with when you stop trying it will probably happen and I can say that I probably unconciously am always trying. I need to just completely maybe not think about it.
      You bring up another issue that I face, what if I get pregnant and miscarry…I don’t think I can handle that again.

      I may seek a specialist just to see…it can’t hurt :)

      Congrats on your new baby …what a blessing!

      • Thank you, it was a shock and surprise for sure. I pray that is will stick because I don’t know how I would handle the loss again, but I am also not really letting myself get too attached right now because of that fear. I saw that someone mentioned weight, and that was one of my worries as well. My husband…although I love him kept saying well maybe you need to loose weight and I started to blame myself for why it wasn’t happening. I was stressed and worked out when I could…I love working out, but I also love food. I weigh 206 now, which is 30 lbs more then when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. I do worry about my weight now and how I’m going to keep from gaining too much weight. My dad has diabetes and my mom has high blood pressure. I really need to make conscience decisions with eating and exercise to be as healthy as I can. There are some great apps out there for pregnancy and ttc. Trying to get pregnant is stressful and sometimes we feel so alone during the process, but when we open up we find there are many others whom are like us, we can support each other in this journey.

  7. No offense or judgement taken :D

    I had started the WLS process and you are right. I have been thinking it’s probably my weight. I have always been a bigger girl but certainly wasn’t as heavy my last pregnancy.
    Thank you!

    • I as well, have had issues getting pregnant, also have endometreosis and PCOS two whammies right out the gate, after 6 years we had given up. I lost close to 30 lbs a few months back, went in for an ultra sound to have ovaries checked for cysts and fun stuff like that…….SURPRISE….I was pregnant. Now 14 weeks and 4 days along, I do think I am going to hack my surprise, but very much blessed pregnancy up to my weight lose. Good luck to you and your husband!

  8. I had my first daughter when I was 28 and it took us two years to conceive her. Now my husband wants to have another baby but with all my health iusse it will be hard. See the doctor found fibroribs in my uetrus and polycystic ovary syndrome so I had all this when I got pregnant the first time. Now that I’m 32 the doctor have put me on brith controll because of my irregular cycle and told me that from the time I stop take them I have to six months to get pregnant and if I don’t I wil have to see a fertility doctor. I understand what you are going throught. I think you should go to a specialist to see is there something going on with your body. Just don’t think the worst it will all work out. Just have faith and let God do his job.

  9. My husband and I are in our fourth month TTC and we both feel ready for another baby, however his health issues (he had a multilevel spinal fusion in May ’11, is on a slew of meds etc) we are having trouble. I personally feel like we are having trouble on my end though because my family has always had pregnancy issues. Long story short, I feel ya. It was easy for us to concieve our first two,so I assumed it would take no time the for a third…I know four months is no time for some,especially those who try for years. Anywho, I hope that when you know youre ready, youre able to concieve, same goes for all you ladies out there. For those of you who lost your babies, I hope with time you are or have been able to heal. Good luck to all the other TTC Ladies!

  10. It wouldnt hurt to see a specialist. I had my son in 2005 (I missed a few pills). We started trying again when he was 18 months old. I have had to have my right tube removed, along with some adhesions, and I have egg issues. After being told this past Oct that IVF was highly recommend as it was very unlikely we would ever get pregnant on our own we found out we had indeed gotten pregnant on our own! We are expecting our little one this august. However if I had never had the surgery to remove my tube and the adhesions I would have never gotten pregnant. I will say that when you see someone dont let them try and blow you off because you already have a child. That is what happened to me but once I found someone who was willing to realize that something was wrong (by the time I started seeing him we had been trying for 3 years) we found out that I do have issues.

  11. Diet. I too have pcos and elevated prolactin. I have been paleo for 4 years and also working on healing my gut. It still amazes me that people don’t correlate infertility with what they put in their mouths. I was supposed to have difficulty getting pregnant but it only took a couple of weeks of trying for us to conceive. You will find many many women and men who have healed their infertility issues by following a paleo lifestyle. PCOS in particular can be healed/controlled with diet.

  12. Try tracking your period on and make whoopee on the days it says you are at your most fertile. Good luck

  13. After about a year of trying but not really trying I was starting to feel worried so I made the Husband and I got to a fertility doctor and they did all the regular tests and everything came back normal. Well eventually it came down to us doing a PCS to my hometown area from the south and Idk what it is about upstate NY (my home area.) there’s something in the water up here because we were only home a month and after 18 months of waiting we finally conceived and our Baby girl is due end of April. Sadly we found out our great news just 2 days before his deployment date but even better is he will be home for the birth! I thank God everyday for all of our blessings.

  14. My mother tried for 3 1/2 years to conceive her second child. The doc finally told her she was stressing over it and to just stop “Trying.” She finally gave up…Viola! That’s when she conceived me. I totally understand the wondering why part, but sometimes we just have to give it God and try not to think about it. (I know, almost impossible)

  15. I recommend that you go ask your pcm to do a fertility work-up. The PCM will refer you to the right location. For me I was sent to infertitlity. They will do some labs, ultrasound, maybe even a ESG. The ESG will show them if you have blocked tubes. After all of the tests I went through….. I wasnt even the problem!!!! It was my husband! They referred him to Urology and they found that he had Retrograde Ejactulation. Thats where some of the sperm goes back in. He also rides a motorcycle everyday and drinks tons of energy drinks and supplements. Those are bad on the sperm. Too much heat in that area causes the sperm to die or become abnormal too. I recommend getting yourself checked out first. If its not you then you start on the husband.

  16. There really is something to the “stop trying” idea. My parents adopted my brother, then 2 years later adopted me. Guess what? My little sister is younger than me by only 11 months :) As soon as they “quit trying”, they were fortunate enough to conceive my beautiful “baby” sister (said with a smile – we’re 25/26, respectively!) I do know that this is easier said than done. I only mention it because one day, you really will be like “Yeah, at this point, it will never happen…” The next thing you know, you’ll be peeing every five minutes, and puking into peoples’ shrubbery. Best of luck to all you wonderful ladies that are TTC!

  17. I am 23, I’ve been Happily Married for 2 years after knowing my husband for 9 years, carelessly having sex about 4 years after we met since we didn’t mind a child, anyway that didn’t happen. But Now we really want a child since neither of us has, and that just aint happening. He did his sperm analysis and the Doc says he is ok, Now its on to me for fertility test and Ultrasound and HSG and I am freaking out because I asumed it was my husbannd since I have been pregnant b4 not by him and didn’t bring it. Now wonder will it ever happen………… I think we just not compatible, but lets c wat d tests say.

    • I have been reading stories like these, all over and this take me to the point where I had to do some research, I found this book which several women told me they used with great success I read it and did a review you can find it at the website listed it is really a failsafe system. You can check it out for your self. Thanks.

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