Latest Update: The spouse in question’s husband’s UNIT has issued an apology…View it HERE.
Update: The author of the blog post mentioned has removed her blog in it’s entirety.
Last night while surfing Facebook at almost 1am in the morning , I came across several posts from military spouses who were disturbed by a blog post from a Vermont Army Wife who suggested that National Guard Wives are not Real Army Wives. The post has since been removed.
I don’t want to come off as a hypocrite because I am all about free speech and speaking as you wish, I mean hell it’s her blog. That being said one thing I cannot stand is sheer stupidity and ignorance, especially from a new (yes I’m calling it out because she is new to this life) military wife who is giving off the impression that she knows it all.
What She Said
In a nutshell according to a rebuttal blog post written by her husband, this Army Wife was fed up with people mistaking her husband for being in the National Guard. According to her husband most people don’t know that it bothers Active Duty soldiers to be compared to the National Guard…funny my husband says he missed that memo . They are mad that everyone assumes they are active duty military because her husband it appears works at a National Guard post.
In addition although she lives in Vermont and it seems she herself doesn’t have everyday contact with military spouses she presumes to say that National Guard spouses aren’t Army Wives. The killer statement was when she wrote her list of things”National Guard spouses say” of which one was: “Well my husband has PTSD”. She proceeds to say and I quote”
“I’m so proud to say that the Hubs has been through 2 deployments, and his mind is as solid as a rock. What Guard spouses seem to not realize, is that A LOT of other people, who have nothing to do with the military, have PTSD. It’s a horrible, horrible thing to deal with, and I would never wish it on anybody, but just because he has PTSD, doesn’t automatically file him in the ‘soldier’ category”.
I mean are you completely insane? How do you even find anything right about this statement? I honestly don’t know what to say because some statements are so bold that you don’t even know how to reply! You have no idea how much you just disrespected anyone who wears or has worn the uniform and suffers from this horrible disease.
Oh oh and don’t forget her Step-ford Wife Statement as quoted below:
“Respect the higher ranks. When I met my husband’s 1SG, I made sure to put my best foot forward. I put on a nice outfit, did my hair, and put makeup on my face. Used manners; ma’am, sir, please, and thank you. I sat quietly and spoke only when addressed. If I had a question, I waited for a break in the conversation, and said ‘Excuse me.’ It’s simple really. I see none of this when Vermont Guard spouses get together for an event with their spouses”.
First of all the majority of us (or at least the spouses I know) rarely if ever come in contact with our husband’s First Sgt. Secondly since when do I have to speak only when spoken to ? I mean who are you trying to be Claudia Joy from “Army Wives”?
There is so much more I could point out but I don’t want to come off as just picking because then my message will most likely be missed. Quite honestly I am not sure if I even have a message to this woman or if I just needed to ask if she is serious, or was her post doing exactly what the title said “Stirring the Pot”?
First and foremost alot of people are saying well we have jumped on her enough and so on. Many feel that jumping on her perpetuates the attacking stigma that some think are attached to military wives. In my case I am not attacking her , but what I am doing is giving her a good dose of the TRUTH!
The truth is honey whether you like it or not , you are no more special then the next military spouse. Speaking of which includes those National Guard Wives you mentioned because they are in fact Army Wives too. Now don’t get me wrong we are a special group of women but let’s not divide us. The fact that you even made the comment that when their husband’s get back from war they don’t have to deal with the military life makes you seem really new to this life. I guess PTSD or injuries don’t count as having to deal with anything when they come back. Sure Guard service members don’t go onpost daily and deal with some of the everyday pressures of being a soldier, but when it comes down to it they have to deploy and fight just like everyone else. They had to go through BCT and AIT like everyone else, and when they retire they receive benefits just like everyone else.
We live offpost at Fort Bragg and it’s not like we go through so much with the military life. I mean sure his job has it’s moments but otherwise life is not that much different then the average person for us except for when we are PCS’ing.
What kills me the most is did you ever realize that many of the National Guard were Active Duty before? My husband may get out and enlist in the National Guard himself, so is he less of a soldier? I mean I am assuming this his past deployments count for nothing or the fact that he proudly served in 2 branches of the United States Military?
The stickler is you don’t even live in a military town or base or even close to a main base (your words not mine) yet you are the end all be all of what a military spouse has to go through and what the proper code of Army wife conduct is? Sounds like to me if you truly tried to make friends with some of the National Guard spouses instead of turning your nose up at them , I am sure one of the Veteran Army Wives could be a great friend to you.
A real military spouse (since you feel you know it all I feel obligated to correct you for future reference) would know that real honor is knowing to never ever step out and discredit any man or woman who has so bravely made the choice to serve our country.
A real military spouse would know that the you just bit the hand of the very support system you could have (those National Guard spouses) because you have this skewed reality that somehow you and your husband are on a higher pedestal because he is Active Duty. Those spouses go through just as much if not more because they don’t always feel like they have the support of the so called” everyday” military community. When a military spouse’s husband is deployed we all go through the same feelings. Are you implying that a Reserve wife doesn’t go through the same stress and emotions when her husband is away?
Way to go for making them feel more alone then I assume they already feel!
I am here to tell you darling you are no special then anyone else, in fact when you come to an actual military base let me know so I can show you the ropes.
So I have to ask is this wife one of the few who believe this or are there other spouses who feel this way? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.
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