Latest Update: The spouse in question’s husband’s UNIT has issued an apology…View it HERE.
Update: The author of the blog post mentioned has removed her blog in it’s entirety.
Last night while surfing Facebook at almost 1am in the morning , I came across several posts from military spouses who were disturbed by a blog post from a Vermont Army Wife who suggested that National Guard Wives are not Real Army Wives. The post has since been removed.
I don’t want to come off as a hypocrite because I am all about free speech and speaking as you wish, I mean hell it’s her blog. That being said one thing I cannot stand is sheer stupidity and ignorance, especially from a new (yes I’m calling it out because she is new to this life) military wife who is giving off the impression that she knows it all.
What She Said
In a nutshell according to a rebuttal blog post written by her husband, this Army Wife was fed up with people mistaking her husband for being in the National Guard. According to her husband most people don’t know that it bothers Active Duty soldiers to be compared to the National Guard…funny my husband says he missed that memo . They are mad that everyone assumes they are active duty military because her husband it appears works at a National Guard post.
In addition although she lives in Vermont and it seems she herself doesn’t have everyday contact with military spouses she presumes to say that National Guard spouses aren’t Army Wives. The killer statement was when she wrote her list of things”National Guard spouses say” of which one was: “Well my husband has PTSD”. She proceeds to say and I quote”
“I’m so proud to say that the Hubs has been through 2 deployments, and his mind is as solid as a rock. What Guard spouses seem to not realize, is that A LOT of other people, who have nothing to do with the military, have PTSD. It’s a horrible, horrible thing to deal with, and I would never wish it on anybody, but just because he has PTSD, doesn’t automatically file him in the ‘soldier’ category”.
I mean are you completely insane? How do you even find anything right about this statement? I honestly don’t know what to say because some statements are so bold that you don’t even know how to reply! You have no idea how much you just disrespected anyone who wears or has worn the uniform and suffers from this horrible disease.
Oh oh and don’t forget her Step-ford Wife Statement as quoted below:
“Respect the higher ranks. When I met my husband’s 1SG, I made sure to put my best foot forward. I put on a nice outfit, did my hair, and put makeup on my face. Used manners; ma’am, sir, please, and thank you. I sat quietly and spoke only when addressed. If I had a question, I waited for a break in the conversation, and said ‘Excuse me.’ It’s simple really. I see none of this when Vermont Guard spouses get together for an event with their spouses”.
First of all the majority of us (or at least the spouses I know) rarely if ever come in contact with our husband’s First Sgt. Secondly since when do I have to speak only when spoken to ? I mean who are you trying to be Claudia Joy from “Army Wives”?
There is so much more I could point out but I don’t want to come off as just picking because then my message will most likely be missed. Quite honestly I am not sure if I even have a message to this woman or if I just needed to ask if she is serious, or was her post doing exactly what the title said “Stirring the Pot”?
My Thoughts
First and foremost alot of people are saying well we have jumped on her enough and so on. Many feel that jumping on her perpetuates the attacking stigma that some think are attached to military wives. In my case I am not attacking her , but what I am doing is giving her a good dose of the TRUTH!
The truth is honey whether you like it or not , you are no more special then the next military spouse. Speaking of which includes those National Guard Wives you mentioned because they are in fact Army Wives too. Now don’t get me wrong we are a special group of women but let’s not divide us. The fact that you even made the comment that when their husband’s get back from war they don’t have to deal with the military life makes you seem really new to this life. I guess PTSD or injuries don’t count as having to deal with anything when they come back. Sure Guard service members don’t go onpost daily and deal with some of the everyday pressures of being a soldier, but when it comes down to it they have to deploy and fight just like everyone else. They had to go through BCT and AIT like everyone else, and when they retire they receive benefits just like everyone else.
We live offpost at Fort Bragg and it’s not like we go through so much with the military life. I mean sure his job has it’s moments but otherwise life is not that much different then the average person for us except for when we are PCS’ing.
What kills me the most is did you ever realize that many of the National Guard were Active Duty before? My husband may get out and enlist in the National Guard himself, so is he less of a soldier? I mean I am assuming this his past deployments count for nothing or the fact that he proudly served in 2 branches of the United States Military?
The stickler is you don’t even live in a military town or base or even close to a main base (your words not mine) yet you are the end all be all of what a military spouse has to go through and what the proper code of Army wife conduct is? Sounds like to me if you truly tried to make friends with some of the National Guard spouses instead of turning your nose up at them , I am sure one of the Veteran Army Wives could be a great friend to you.
A real military spouse (since you feel you know it all I feel obligated to correct you for future reference) would know that real honor is knowing to never ever step out and discredit any man or woman who has so bravely made the choice to serve our country.
A real military spouse would know that the you just bit the hand of the very support system you could have (those National Guard spouses) because you have this skewed reality that somehow you and your husband are on a higher pedestal because he is Active Duty. Those spouses go through just as much if not more because they don’t always feel like they have the support of the so called” everyday” military community. When a military spouse’s husband is deployed we all go through the same feelings. Are you implying that a Reserve wife doesn’t go through the same stress and emotions when her husband is away?
Way to go for making them feel more alone then I assume they already feel!
I am here to tell you darling you are no special then anyone else, in fact when you come to an actual military base let me know so I can show you the ropes.
So I have to ask is this wife one of the few who believe this or are there other spouses who feel this way? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.
Comments
Powered by Facebook Comments
Army Wife 101
Krystel is the mom of two and an Army Wife. In addition to Army Wife 101 she is the Co-Founder of SoFluential.com a digital media agency that connects brands with the military market. She has appeared on MSNBC ,FOX LA and formerly was a weekly contributor to HLN's "Raising America". She has written for various outlets including Sheknows and Lifetime and is a big fan of cupcakes and french fries.
Krystel is the mom of two and an Army Wife. In addition to Army Wife 101 she is the Co-Founder of SoFluential.com a digital media agency that connects brands with the military market.
She has appeared on MSNBC ,FOX LA and formerly was a weekly contributor to HLN's "Raising America". She has written for various outlets including Sheknows and Lifetime and is a big fan of cupcakes and french fries. 223 Comments on Is She Serious?…My Response To One Of The Most Ignorant Army Wives Ever!
Leave a Reply
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
I like what you guys are usually up too. This type
of clever work and exposure! Keep up the wonderful works guys I’ve included you guys to our blogroll.
Great info. Lucky me I came across your website by chance (stumbleupon).
I’ve book marked it for later!
Offer anything a good deal distinct??? In particular, reports or even publications concerning easy way to clean carpet.
Can I subscribe to your content?!
My blog – carpet cleaning secrets (Brandi)
Though is happened two years ago, and I don’t mean to resurrect an otherwise infamous incident, please allow me to share my thoughts.
It’s unfortunate that a person would think this let alone share such a perspective; and it’s unfortunate that some active duty believe the same thing. As someone who never really respected the military in general – I held some arrogant and immensely ignorant views when I was younger – I now come to realize that any person who sign their name to protect our country, its (deteriorating) values and everything that it stands for, has my respect in that matter no matter the branch, rank, MOS or whether they are active duty or Guard/Reserves.
I had a couple of my high school friends join the military straight out of high school – one went to the Marine Corps and the other Navy. In college one of my roommates was in Air Guard (served a tour in the Middle East before I met him) and one of my fraternity brothers is in our state’s Army National Guard. I am thankful for the high school friends who decided to do active duty and am equally as thankful to the guys who are in the Guard.
I’m thinking seriously about joining the Army National Guard and for some reason all the “you’re not a real soldier” doesn’t seem to phase me into joining or thinking less of guardsmen/reserves. I do understand where such a view is coming from, but I suppose it’s those who join the ARNG job to prove these people (military wives, ADs, civilians) wrong more so by their actions and the way they carry themselves as opposed to ones training schedule/number of deployments/assignments. It’s just juvenile to diminish the importance and effort the Guards/Reserves put out, not only in their lives, but also their civilian lives.
I’ve grown to appreciate all the branches and its components. It helped me see that the military in a different light. On my way to work my bus passes by a National Guard armor (which is the base for a Green Beret Airbrone battalion) — it’s huge, it’s intimidating — and maybe one day I’ll be in their signing up and waiting to get smoked by my future drill sergeants come basic time, wherever that is, so I too can give back to my community and country.
To me, the Guards/Reserves are soldiers through and through. The spouses/significant others and their family are military family. To question those two things – nay – to deny those things is like denying whether nor not there is a God (which there is, I’ve been through that phase as well).
The Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard, their Reserve components and National Guard (Army & Air) are all soldiers – female or male – fighting for the exact same thing: America’s freedom, America’s values, America’s future (and the world). They made an oath and signed their name on that dotted line.
Do you know who aren’t “real” soldiers? Those that didn’t take that oath and signed on that dotted line. Take me for instance, I’m not a soldier – I’m a straight up civilian.
And like I mentioned, hopefully one day I’ll become a soldier and make my country/state proud … as an Army National Guardsman. (That is if I’m accepted/survive basics, haha!)
To Krystel and the women who commented on this:
Thank you for the opportunity to talk about this.
Thank you for your strength.
Thank you for your husbands service (and yours, of course, for raising America’s future, sometimes doing it as a single parent when the husband is deployed/on-tour).
– John from Chicago, Illinois
I do not agree my brother did two tours combat in national guard in Iraq. Some guardsmen though need to learn UMJC and make sure the person they date is not taken or lying to them. In last three years have run into two one in AZ one in MT that has interfered with married couples. Broke Article 134 subsection 62. One in AZ drove around on a suspended License saying his military permit allowed him to drive a normal car since he was a mic 5. One in MT is breaking up a 14 yr relationship with kids involved, nearly caused the lady to commit suicide because he would not back off and find out the whole truth, use lines like you have to chose because there are others interested in me and I can’t wait around.Having an uncle that was a Marine, stepfather retired navy after 23 yrs, and many friends in other branches either out or still serving all agree this would not fly with there commanding officers and is a disgrace to the uniform. So can see some of her points on this blog, but when my sister in law had to wait for my brother send care packages and did her duties as a wife dressed up for functions ect I see no difference in what she did compare to a normal military spouse.So in my opinion maybe some guard units just do not hold their guardsmen to as high as standards as others do or as the regular army does.