Disclaimer: Before I even share my opinion on this story I really want to say let’s not fall into the trap of separating NG from AD. I seen spouse one ask an apology for Active Duty wives as if National Guard wives are the only ones who do some dingbat-ish things or are that much different! I feel I can speak from both sides my husband was AD and now NG and I as a wife lived both sides of the life. At the end of the day whether AD or NG they all risk their lives. So let’s not start dividing each other!
A reader posted a link on my wall to a news story about a National Guardsman’s wife who is demanding answers as to why her husband was denied leave.
At first glance of the story I automatically sympathized with her as I know the feeling of having R&R times changed and not being able to make plans because of this little interruption known as a “deployment”.
Read Story Here
Yet as I read the article and watched the video in it’s entirety I couldn’t help but to say what I knew many other military spouses were going to say once I posted the article.
“Get over it your not the only one”!
The truth is this is the military life whether your husband is a National Guardsman or Active Duty deployments are the same and when it comes to the military calling the shots we are all affected by it. I don’t intend to pounce on her simply because I think their is a lack of understanding as to how the military life works which is understandable as this is probably her first deployment and she might not have the support system that comes along with the Active Duty lifestyle as a National Guardman’s wife. Yet I do think she should realize that her husband probably was denied leave because his tour is a short one. She is not the only one… this is happening Army wide.
Quite frankly it seems as if she has more of an issue with him being deployed then just the whole “denied leave” scenario. My husband was deployed for 15 months the first time and yes my kids wanted their daddy too and I sympathize with all military children, but unfortunately this is the choice we as a family/parents make when one makes the commitment to serve.
She mentions planning things well my dear if I had a dollar for every time I planned something and that heffa known as the Army interrupted I would be a rich ____…you know the rest!
I believe she should have gotten a better understanding and not have been so quick to call the media in regards to something about leave time and deployments as you never know what kind of hot water you can get your soldier into when you are quick to jump the gun and run to the news.
I suggest next time seeking out support groups for military spouses online who may be in your situation and may have been able to support you and offer encouragement for getting through this hard time.
Do you agree with her actions ? Why or Why not?
Comments
Powered by Facebook Comments
Army Wife 101
Krystel is the mom of two and an Army Wife. In addition to Army Wife 101 she is the Co-Founder of SoFluential.com a digital media agency that connects brands with the military market. She has appeared on MSNBC ,FOX LA and formerly was a weekly contributor to HLN's "Raising America". She has written for various outlets including Sheknows and Lifetime and is a big fan of cupcakes and french fries.
Krystel is the mom of two and an Army Wife. In addition to Army Wife 101 she is the Co-Founder of SoFluential.com a digital media agency that connects brands with the military market.
She has appeared on MSNBC ,FOX LA and formerly was a weekly contributor to HLN's "Raising America". She has written for various outlets including Sheknows and Lifetime and is a big fan of cupcakes and french fries. 40 Comments on It’s Just The Way The Army Life Is Lady…Gotta Suck It Up!
Leave a Reply
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
I completely agree with everything. I mean I am a brand new army wife less than 2 years in and even I know better. One of the first things we learn is to NOT plan things and that nothing is set in stone. That is just the military life and she is not the only one going through these things. She is a reflection of her husband and honestly I feel like she is going too far with it. Some women go through 12-15 month deployments and for one reason or another don’t get leave time either. It sucks but you have to go with the flow. Some women have it worse than her, she to me is just being a whiner. :/
Completely disagree with her actions. The Army might have a calendar, but it’s written in pencil and it changes and changes and changes. We never dealt with a deployment, but I’ve yet to hear of one that went exactly according to plan and going to the media about it hasn’t done any good. If anything, she’s probably caused her husband a bit of grief.
I can totally understand being frustrated, HOWEVER….taking it to the media=bad idea! She never mentions how long his deployment is supposed to be. If it’s 9 months or shorter, there is no R&R. If it was a year and some guys got leave, then they shortened the tour, that would explain why some got it and some won’t. Since we don’t know those details I have a hard time having sympathy for her. For her daughter, sure! But kids are resilient and I’m sure she’ll be alright :) That’s why I don’t tell my kids when dad is coming home until he’s on the way!!!
My husband was gone for a year when Iraq first jumped off without any RnR, I might also like to mention during this time the lines of communication were not setup yet so never knew when he was gonna be able to call.. I am thankful my kids were younger than because not too many questions were asked, so the 2 year old is only having a hard time because mom is making it a hard time… Suck it up move on or get out if you can’t handle the harsh realities of being a military spouse..
What she did was reckless, in my opinion. I’ve only been an Army wife for just over a year now, and i would never dream of causing that kind of trouble for my husband. This is just how the Military works, things change, and you have to learn to be flexible and roll with the punches. It may not be ideal, and as an expectant mother i definitely feel for her child, but it is what it is. Perhaps instead of making a spectacle out of her family, she should be focusing on helping her kid cope with the reality of their lives.
I totally disagree with her. And, I think this paints her is a negative light, as well as her husband to the military community.
No matter how long your deployment is, you’re not guaranteed R&R. If he didn’t get R&R, then to me, that says his deployment NEEDS him more than his family does. After all, there is always a reason for deployments, good or bad. I think a class needs to be required for every military wife when they marry a service member or when their husband joins, this for reserve families, too.
I totally disagree with what she did. i totally understand the disappointment we all have been there with this lifestyle. And you are right chances are she doesn’t know what shes allowed to do and not. i feel for her husband who i am sure is now in hot water because his wife got the news involved. my husband was national guard for a couple years before we went back active duty and i hated it. they never let us know what was going on and it was always this is whats happening and then oh no but thats just army life. i hate to say it but she needs to suck it up and deal with it. i married my husband after he was at his first duty station and had no clue on right and wrong in this lifestyle but i learned by asking questions and looking things up. its a part of life. i do feel kinda sorry for her cause she doesn’t realize what she created for herself.
All I can do is sit here and shake my head. Before someone assumes anything let me start by saying I am a National Guard wife, I have dealt with deployments, both to a combat zone and stateside. Yes, they both suck. Not having your husband able to come home really bites. Not knowing if he will be able to attend an upcoming function is annoying as hell. But you know what? You better learn to deal with it and do so privately. Find another Guard wife to bitch to, or a friend, or your mother. But never EVER should you whine to the media. In a time when our military is being criticized for every little thing, we do not need to provide anyone any additional ammunition.
Why is her story even news? A. she’s not the only spouse who’s had to deal with this exact same thing and B. her husband is still alive and well. They should report on all of the good things the military is doing and honor the ones who don’t make it home. That’s news. Your headline speaks for itself “suck it up and deal!”
I take pride in being a strong army wife. This embarrassing to me. But that’s ok she might not get to be a national guardsman’s wife for much longer. Shesll have her husband home plenty then.
I really don’t understand why she thought contacting the media was a good idea. I’ve been an AD wife for seven years so maybe I’m just on the wrong side of the fence but it just seems like a bad stunt. Which begs the question of whether or not she stopped to think about how her actions were going to reflect upon her husband or effect they’d have on him. I’m not trying to be mean or nasty so please don’t take me that way, I just want to understand her actions. ***** It is embarrassing though, just think this is what non military ppl are seeing and thinking oh wow that’s an army wife. Smh way to represent.
Did she actually go to the media though? I watched the video and read the story that you linked which is basically the script to the video. I see where it says she is demanding answers, but she does not really come off that way in the video. She seems to come off as just sharing what it is like, not demanding to know why his leave was denied. I don’t know- maybe I am missing something but it just seems to be a little blown up to me.
I think we are all missing the background of information. This email was received on Fathers Day before many of the men had a chance to warn their wives/loved ones. This issue is not about getting R and R, it is about the rollercoaster ride that many state gaurd units are facing becasue the original 9 months “boot on ground” policy never accounted for guardsmen who are away from home for 12-13 months with pre and post mob.
__________________________________________________
Unfortunately, I have to confirm the news that Rest & Recuperation leave has been rescinded for all 27th IBCT units in Kuwait, the rest of the Middle East and Southwest Asia (to include Afghanistan). It does not appear any additional Soldiers will be granted leave during our deployment.
I know this news is highly disappointing, especially since we’ve
successfully sent Soldiers on leave for the past three weeks. I share your sadness and confusion, but this was a decision made by people way above us in the Chain of Command. It affects not just 27th IBCT Soldiers, but all Soldiers in the entire U.S. Army deployed to what we call the U.S. Central Command (CENTCOM) Area of Responsibility (AOR). Our direct superiors in Kuwait, all the way up to the Commander of all U.S. Forces in Kuwait, supported the leave program and wanted it to continue. A decision was made somewhere in the Pentagon to end the leave program for us.
To clear up all rumors and confusion, I’ll briefly recap how we came to this point. Last August, the Secretary of the Army, the Dept. of Defense’s lead civilian in charge of all Department of the Army policy(Active and Guard units), made a decision to shorten all Army deployments to 9 months “boots on ground” (time spent physically in a foreign country) starting in 2012. This was an important announcement because up until this point most Active Duty Army units spent 12 months or more deployed. This policy didn’t have any effect on the Army National Guard deployment length because we have been doing 9 month “boots on the ground” deployments since 2007. This policy announcement also made a point that units executing 9 month deployments would no longer receive leave; this would allow the units more time and manpower to concentrate on their mission. The problem with this policy is that it didn’t clearly explain how this affects US Army National Guard units. Although Guard units have been doing 9 month deployments for the past 55 years, we still spend 12 months mobilized away from home in what is called a “Temporary Change of Station”. In the past 5 years, Guard units have received leave while deployed for only 9 months because we are actually away from home for 12 months or longer.
Earlier this year, the U.S. CENTCOM wrote a new leave policy to address the confusion between Active Army and National Guard 9 month deployments and who was authorized leave. In their policy, they made it clear that Guard units executing missions for 270 days or more (9 Months) would receive leave if they have Temporary Change of Station orders mobilizing the Soldier for up to 400 days (which we have). This policy was given to us when we arrived in Kuwait in April. Our command inquired up the chain of command and U.S. CENTCOM confirmed that we were authorized leave because of our 12 month mobilization and excess of 9 months “boots on ground” status. Based on this authority, our unit and many others throughout the Middle East and Afghanistan began sending Soldiers on leave in May.
This past week, the Department of the Army, in the Pentagon, and U.S.
CENTCOM had a disagreement about the leave policy written earlier in the year. Today, U.S. CENTCOM announced that their policy was not correctly carrying out the intent of the Secretary of the Army. The Secretary of the Army’s intent was to end leave for all Guard units, as well as for all Active duty units, executing 9 months boots on the ground, regardless of length of mobilization. The only person that can reverse this decision is the Secretary of the Army at the Pentagon level.
Some people have inquired about contacting their Congressional Representatives about this and while I cannot encourage nor discourage that, I will say that if you choose to do so then ensure that you make clear that this leave policy was a decision made at the Pentagon level and not by leaders here in Kuwait. Leadership at the highest levels here in Kuwait continues to support the leave program and believe we can carry out our mission requirements even with Soldiers on leave. This may not be true in all units throughout the Middle East or Afghanistan, but it is certainly true here in Kuwait.
Our intention was never to jerk families and friends around like this, leave authorization had been cleared at the highest levels, CENTCOM is lead by a 4-Star General, and we were following all of the policies and authorities given to us by the U.S. CENTCOM. We never would have started sending Soldiers on leave if we had a belief that the decision was going to be reversed on short notice. Like anything else with Military service, our chain of the command has the authority and right to change policy at any time and have to make decisions that best support the Army and our National Defense as a whole. If anyone has spent money on vacation tickets or deposits that you can’t get refunded, please let us know about them and we
will see what we can do to get refunds issued because of the short notice policy change.
This is an unfortunate turn of events, but there is one positive. All of our Soldiers will be able to use their unused leave at the end of their tour giving them extra money in their paycheck. For some Soldiers, using leave at the end of the mobilization will mean thousands of extra dollars in their last paycheck that they otherwise would not have earned if they had expended mid-tour leave. Emergency leave and compassionate early release from active duty will still be considered on a case-to-case basis in accordance with current Army policy.
These are a small number of the families who are standing up for thier men and getting congressional action. It has boosted their morale becuse they realize how much we care and are willing to go to insure that injustice and roller coaster ride does not happen to others, it is not about the R and R for our men but a bigger policy issue!
Buffalo, Channel 2 News at 11:00 Monday Evening
http://www.wgrz.com/news/article/171851/13/Some-Guard-Members-Not-Granted-Leave-
Follow-up, Channel 2..
http://www.wgrz.com/news/article/171941/13/Hochul-Gillibrand-Seek-Clarity-On-Military-Leave
Syracuse, Channel 9 Here is their story:
http://www.9wsyr.com/news/local/story/Local-Army-wife-demands-answers-after-husband/K0Uo3AzbREKhzemvX_F6QQ.cspx
Congresswoman Hochol’s website:
http://hochul.house.gov/press-release/leave-twice-revoked-army-national-guard-hochul-presses-answers
Her letter:
http://hochul.house.gov/sites/hochul.house.gov/files/documents/Letter%20to%20Army%20Secretary%20McHugh.pdf
Out of State also:
http://www2.counton2.com/news/2012/jun/18/local-national-guard-caught-guard-over-leave-time-ar-3996035/?referer=http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fcounton2.com%2Far%2F3996035%2F&h=xAQH4qos7AQFnh8smLFmOVEkTZghBnJaZw-Y9MZVJb8q_Mw&enc=AZOePZLS3AtIHJ4R3yOo8qlRA8ksRxywODWeO6q16YO07iQctTXZcb43kdLRgQu0uUWkv3Nj9STqp0TiHVk0P4x0&shorturl=http://bit.ly/KIaRub#fbcomments
If you’ve seen this newsclip, then chances are you have seen the countless others? Including the press release from Congresswoman Hochul along with her letter to Secretary McHugh? Before being quick to jump on NG wives and families, you should have all the facts. This in NOT about not getting leave. This is about a policy being “clarified” in the middle of a deployment, after some soldiers had already been sent home; a policy mind you that was written for AD soldiers and had never taken into account the fact that NG soldiers 9 months in country is still 12-14 months away from home, and a policy that never clarified what any of that meant for NG soldiers. This is the back and forth changes constantly happening. This isn’t about wives and families complaining over not getting leave, it’s about looking for answers as to WHY there were yes no yes no games, why some soldiers got to go home before canceling leave again.
Do you realize what most NG wives would give to be in the position of an AD wife? You know how long your deployment is, your husband goes there and comes back, you have a network of support and families at your doorstep in relative close proximity to each other. NG wives are separated across a state, rarely next door. Most NG children aren’t in school with other children who’s parents are deployed. NG husbands still go to NTC, JRTC and all the other trainings, their 9 month “short” deployment is NOT 9 months. It’s 2-3 months pre-mob, deployment which doesn’t necessarily end at 9 months, and another 1-2 months post mob. Which would be like an AD soldier going on a 12-15 month tour, not know what month he’d be home. Unlike AD wives, NG wives don’t spend years doing this. Or did you forget NG guys are citizen soldiers? They give up civilian lives to do the SAME job AD guys do. Because of the constant last minute changes, many of these men have lost homes, jobs, etc because of preparation for other deployments that don’t happen.
The simple fact that other wives could sit back and talk negatively about another wife is disgusting. Whether NG or AD, they are all deployed, away from home and families doing a job we obviously aren’t doing. Our jobs as wives are to: Support our husband & military, Take care of our families, support other wives & families.
AD wives- next time your husband isn’t around and you go to talk to another wife down the road going through the same thing, or your children go outside to play with kids of another soldier, step back & think about what it must be like to not have that support.
Every military wife knows things change in a minute. But when the same decision is changed back and forth constantly, it becomes an issue.
Get off of your NG wife pedestal. You claim that everyone is bashing NG wives, but you managed to bash AD wives in the majority of your comment. Both people have it rough. Both sides have various pros and cons. Get over yourself.
Patricia, I am confused as to where you are getting your information regarding AD wives’ lives. I am an AD wife. Two of my closest friends are NG wives, many are AD and while there are significant differences we face the SAME struggles.
First, I never know how long my husband will be deployed. In fact, our first ever (while I was in my first year of law school, by the way) deployment started out at 7 months, was extended to 9 and eventually ended around 12. Because of the shortened time, many guys did not get R&R and, yes, that was upsetting.
Secondly, an AD wife does not mean you have the support system of the other wives. In fact, I was in a completely different state, with no military post, for over three years. We were apart even when he wasn’t deployed. And during that time, I didn’t have a lot of women who understood the life and how difficult it was.
I appreciate your frustration about criticizing each other. This life is hard enough without making enemies. I just wanted to clarify that you have wrong information. AD wives aren’t all the same, just like NG wives aren’t and the worst thing we can do during these times is point fingers at other wives.
I feel badly for her…. We have all been there, expecting time off with our spouse and then BAMM the military changes things. It’s part of the job…. But, I just don’t agree with going to the media. That isn’t going to change anything. Decisions are made far above the soldiers on the ground and you just have to be mad and disappointed and then get over it and hope their leave is granted in the future.
Nothing gets accomplished by doing nothing! Writing letters and going to media IS getting the job done. It’s getting representatives looking for answers to WHY soldiers and families are being put through this. Some of us had the balls to stand up so other families didn’t go through this in the future. So the next time your husband is deployed, you don’t go through it. Not everybody sits and whines on a blog or social media site, or bullies other wives. Some stand up, take action and get the job done; some are more worried about other families and future deployments. Next time you want to say “you can’t do anything about it”, remember the letters attached to the links. And there are more politicians working on it as we speak.
Congresswoman Hochol’s website:
http://hochul.house.gov/press-release/leave-twice-revoked-army-national-guard-hochul-presses-answers
Her letter:
http://hochul.house.gov/sites/hochul.house.gov/files/documents/Letter%20to%20Army%20Secretary%20McHugh.pdf
Hi Patricia,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I hope you don’t think anyone is bullying anyone here. I am merely sharing my opinion as a wife who has been through several deployments and knows the frustrations and what you listed above may very well be the case but what she stated on the news seemed more like a wife who really didn’t understand how the military life works and that things don’t run on her time.
You have to keep in mind a news interview lasts 10-20 minutes. About 20 seconds of what you say ends up on the news, spun in a what that makes for a good story according to the newscaster. If you look at all the other links and comments on them- it is NOT about not getting leave. The fact that this poor wife has has countless other army wives sending her cruel and threatening messages through social media is disturbing. The fact that it’s been blogged about, tell her to basically get over it, before having done the research and seen the whole story of what is going on… That has lead to MORE bullying, drama and comments coming from people who take a 30 second glance and are all too willing to speak negatively before trying to understand the whole story. Even if it was about a wife wanting her husband home, a more proactive approach would be offering support, not reprimand. Shame on all these wives acting like that. How would it affect your husband and his unit if your comments where aired publicly (like they are)? Would the be proud of your thiughtfulness and cruelty towards another member of the military community & his family? Or would they be ashamed? Would they expect better of you? Like others have pointed out, our actions affect and reflect on our husbands. The difference is- there has been more support and praise within their unit than you’d expect. You are so quick to jump the gun and be negative, you don’t realize you are one of the FIRST groups of non-supporters I have seen. The 2/108th stands behind all of the wives and family members taking a stand and wanting answers on these mid stream policy changes. The communities stand behind these families. Apparently the only ones who don’t are other military families. Shame on you.
What bothers me is the fact that she felt she needed to take her rant to the media. I really don’t care if she wants to bitch to someone, how about a friend, a family member, or another wife, but the media? I can just imagine the shit that her husband will get because of this nonsense.
I disagree with what she did. Like my husband says.. Soldier first, family always. In some way you have to accept that the military will always come first before anything else. I sympathize with her as far as not knowing what’s right and wrong. You learn as you go. I sympathize for all military children who have to endure their daddy/mommy being away for any period of time. However, I firmly believe they will grow up to handle life challenges better because of how strong they have to be. I’m not gonna bash her because we all make mistakes… Hopefully she’ll find a good support system to help her get through this.
Going to the media was not a mistake I and many of the other NYNG wives and soldiers solidly stand by her and praise her for shedding light on a bigger policy issue. None of the men whose wives spoke openly about this are in “trouble” they are being acclaimed for taking an active role.
I’m not a wife,but a husband ( legal now) of a army guardsman. This ” part time career” has become a definite full time responsibility. In our young marriage. We have spent a majority of the time apart. I agree fully with the gal who. Originally brought this particular circumstance to the attention of the public,and secretary of the Army through the vehicle of the media. People need to become aware of what is really happening now, and it is our God given right to have freedom of finding out the truth in our democracy. Because she went to the media , all of New York’s. Federal representatives are inquiring to the secretary of the Army and are demanding answers. More wives should stand up for their soldiers, the military life is admirable and commendable but we are all just humans, and deserve the full respect under the law.
Do you even know who your congressional rep is? If not find out now, and find out how they can become usefull. By going to the media she forced action and shed light on an agregious situation. If we choose to stand together this will stop this from happening to our men, women and all other military service members .
This was a big mistake going to the media and I’m sure there will be consequences.
I completely disagree with her choice to go to the media. Whatever her intent, it comes off as an embarrassment to those of us who have gone through numerous deployments without any R&R. My husband has deployed every single year since we got married, for 8-10 months each time, and has never gotten R&R. He is only home for 6 months in between and then he’s off again, and during that 6 months at home he’s off TDY at least a week out of every month, usually longer. We have spent more time apart than together from the day we met. I knew what I signed up for as an Army wife and I would NEVER dream of going to the media to complain about the MANY last minute changes we have experienced. We don’t plan anything at all, that’s the military for you. It is irrelevant whether her husband is NG or AD, going to the media to complain was juvenile and inappropriate.
i absolutely agree with everything you’ve said! people need to grow up. you cant always get everything you want in life, and that is pretty much a given with the army.
awesomely put! I so agree..
I’m actually glad she stepped up and said something. This shouldn’t be happening just look at the suicide rates in the military. Something is wrong!!!!!! I’m tired of people, wives in particular, saying to get over it or suck it up. We are humans not robots, we have feelings and emotions. It’s not right and we shouldn’t have to put up with it. Our soldiers are being run into the ground by all of these long deployments. We need to stand up and tell the government that this just simply isn’t working. I want the PTSD, divorce and suicide rates to drop!!!!
Ok, first of all, I hate the media because they blow everything out of proportion. “Her little girl cries herself to sleep every night because she misses her daddy.” I really don’t believe that one. My kids may cry a little bit, but not every night, and they do get over it.
However, I do agree that there is a serious problem with stuff like this, but this is not the only issue we deal with. There are so many issues with the military and the government as a whole it’s too overwhelming to even try to bring them all up.
As far as her putting herself out there and going to the media??? If it were me I would’ve just sucked it up, but we’re not talking about me. She’s someone else, and I say more power to her! I hope it worked for her instead of backfiring.
I agree. I think this lady is wrong and she should understand that in the military things change! I hear dates of early return all the time but I don’t get my hopes up until my husband is on his way. We have three children, they know daddy is away working and we never tell them a set day he is coming, we just say when daddy is done working he will be home. She was wrong giving her daughter a timeframe because kids don’t understand how things really are when it comes to the military. Going to the news is a big no no, her husband signed up for this lifestyle so deal with it. Some people are just not made to be military spouse because they are not in control of things and they don’t like it. Her husband is employed by the government and ultimately they call the shots. Now she looks like a complaining wife who is clueless about how leave works and how it can get denied. Some things are a privilege so she need to focus on cherishing the time she does have with her husband instead of making it harder for him.
this lady is insane. i cant tell you how many times plans have been changed because of the army. do you see me going to the media and whining about it? there are plenty of kids in the same boat as her child. i mean, seriously, grow up. i dont see how you dont know already that the army isnt going to always follow what they say. you suck it up and deal with it. i dont feel bad for her, other than the fact that shes making herself look like a fool. and frankly, she’s the type of person i would not be friends with. i have low tolerance for people who whine. my husband is deployed too. thats life. get over yourself!
What bothers me is that this is not new information. Men are denied leave ALL THE TIME. The Army changes their mind ALL THE TIME. Especially on deployments, when the Army needs to make changes in order to insure the men are safe and the job gets done.
Whether NG or AD is irrelevant, what is frustrating is that during our current state of affairs abroad and our country’s hard times at home, that LAST thing we should be doing is bringing this to the media. The media is terrible at investigating things, terrible and presenting the right information truthfully, and really good at over-dramatizing. So, now the news thinks all the NG wives are running around miserable, with their children sobbing into their pillows…What does that do? It gives the media, and politicians, one more chip to play in their political poker game.
I am the first person to demand truth from the military. And I’m the first person to push back and ask questions. But I do that within our unit and our chain of command or within our home and family. I respect that this woman felt lied to, or whatever, and wanted answers, but I DO NOT appreciate that every piece of negative press, every piece of miltitary propaganda, makes our job HARDER. Not easier.
I so agree.. great way to put that..
I’ve already commented on another milspouse blog about this issue, but I want to add my two cents here as well.
Seriously – do we really think the military is good at planning ahead?? Do we think they’re efficient? I don’t. I think DOD has such a big budget that it is allowed to waste resources unnecessarily. From what I’m reading above, the leave for these troops was cancelled based on poor planning (shocker)… And how does the saying go? Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part!
Why can’t we as a milspouse community use media as a tool to pressure the various branches of the military to honor their words, especially when we’ve spent money we might not be able to get back?
Anyway, my thought is that if the Army told its personel that they would have leave, and families made plans, then why shouldn’t the Army have to keep its end of the deal? This family could have bought plane tickets, booked hotels, booked a cruise, et cetera.
Of course, I have had to cancel things like hotels and plane tickets because of issues stemming from my husband’s work as a Navy officer. And so far we’ve always been able to send a copy of his orders and get refunds or vouchers. Thanks, military clause!
I know that lots of military spouses have dealt with this issue – but to me it seems like one of those ‘badge of honor’ things: “I had to deal with this shitty situation, so should you!”
But why does it have to be that way?
Why is it wrong to hope to change the status quo? Maybe that’s what this milspouse wanted to do… And if so, good on her!
I don’t necessarily think it’s good for morale or family life to dangle promises of leave and then take them away.
Think about the dudes from this group of soldiers who DID get leave… You don’t think the other guys are going to give them major stink eye when they return to Kuwait?
It’s really lame the Army applied this policy change in the middle of one unit’s deployment. It should have waited and applied the changes to all units deploying after, say, July 1.
I think she just pissed off her husbands chain of command, so he got denied leave.. that doesn’t mean he will never be home. Grow up, life moves on, things change, celebrate the time with your family and when he eventually gets home, make plans then… good lord really?!! There are no guarantees given to any of the military spouses except this, he will be gone more then he will be home. This lifestyle we have chosen to live, demands more of us as a single parent, remember, they signed that dotted line, you knew what was coming in some form or another ( hell its on the news, tv shows, media at large even in movies ) Put on your big girl panties and deal with it. Semper Gumby is the moto “always flexible” you can try and make plans but believe me when I tell you, don’t make it concrete, the military will find a way to throw a wrench in it some how. Learn to be flexible and youll find yourself less disappointed in the end. Stop whining about how unfair the military is treating you or your family.. we are lucky, my grandma and great grandma didn’t hear from my grandfathers for months on end. They didn’t have computers, cell phones, myspace, your space, twitter me here and there.. they had snail mail and that was it! They didn’t get BHA till the late 70’s but it was called BAQ/VHA then. You didn’t have a choice about where you lived, you got a place and you said THANK YOU! I am proud to be me, I am proud to be my husbands wife, I am proud to be a mother and I am so grateful to my grandmothers for teaching me to be a stronger woman! Carry On Smartly and don’t embarrass your husband by being a baby! ( this is my opinion only mine )
Army G1 hasn’t updated their page to reflect this purported clarification, however. “In August 2011, the Secretary of the Army announced that on January 01, 2012, the Army would begin transitioning to a 9-month deployment cycle for General Purpose Forces (Division and below) supporting named operations outside the continental United States. This initiative will improve the quality of life of Soldiers and Families by decreasing the time Soldiers are separated from their Families. Soldiers who are deployed to the combat zone on 365 day orders with a minimum of 270 days boots on ground (BOG) still remain eligible for the R&R benefit.” http://www.armyg1.army.mil/randr/
This web property is actually owned by a company named Imperial E-Club Limited, which is
based in Antigua and Barbuda. Also, online casinos are exceptional for beginners or advanced players, because you can
play what you want, when you want, for free,
or for real money. You can either play for fun, or play for
real money. Super Slots prides themselves on their unique
promotions they offer players to keep them coming back.
If you are going for most excellent contents like I do, simply pay a visit this site
daily since it offers quality contents, thanks