The clock is ticking and the D-day jitters are in full swing. I have been playing the role when people ask me if I’m doing ok. Of course I say I am but then again, I am not sure. To be quite honest, even though I have the jitters it is hard to convey truly what I am feeling.
I wish I was still back in GA stationed safely at my nice little nook of a base with everything close by, instead I am on a dot in the middle of the water. I am far away from the friends I went through a 15 month deployment with last time and not a hint of family to save me from the brink of insanity.”Okay, I am being a little dramatic, but no one to save me from one of those bad days when I need to drop the kids off on a whim because I need a break”.
The hubby has officially finished packing and now we are just going through the motions as if everything is normal. We rarely speak of the D word, and he does the normal soldier thing by not showing emotion except for when I look sad. When we do talk about anything involving deployment, it is mainly related to what we plan on doing after it.
So far the moral of the Army Wives story is to discuss the future meaning after the deployment. I admit it will be hard to really focus on the end of the deployment because, let’s be real we harbor so many fears and unknowns that can make doing that difficult.
I am sure the moral of my story will change weekly *smile*
In any event, I shall remain as strong as possible for him, my children and myself.
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