We’ve all been there. Your husband has been given a slot at one of the many schools the military has to offer – a new and exciting opportunity and chance to better his career! But then school starts and you’re feeling anything but optimistic. Your husband is up early, home late, grouchy, stressed out, busy studying and physically exhausted, all in an effort to make it to graduation. All of the sudden you’ve become a single parent in a house that your husband is living in! Here are 3 things to keep in mind that may help get you through.
1.You’re Not Mad At Each Other
When my husband was going through the first few months of EOD school we were at each other’ss throats for two straight months. He’s exhausted, mentally and physically, and you need help at home and with the kids. The end of the day becomes a five hour survival course just to make it to bed without some kind of an argument. Here’s the most important thing to remember: You’re not mad at each other, you’re frustrated with the temporary difficulty of your situation. You don’t need to be fighting with one another. If things start to escalate take a step back and remind each other that you’re just stressed out in general and whatever you’re arguing about isn’t really that big of a deal.
2. He’s Feeling An Immense Amount of Pressure
And that pressure is coming on all fronts. There is pressure from his instructors to pass, pressure not to fail in front of his peers, pressure to prove to himself that he is capable of completing the course and most heavily, pressure to pass for his family. You should feel confident that he understands the importance of doing well and refrain from hounding him about passing.
3. Make Your Time Together Count
We are used to having limited time with our significant others. It gets even weirder when your husband is in the house but he can’t talk to you because he has to study. I found myself feeling resentful as I fed, bathed and put our child to bed by myself. It took a lot of mean comments from me before I realized he would much rather be playing with our son at bathtime than studying bombs. The most important thing is to let him do what he needs to do during the week and make the time you have together count. Designate a time on the weekends that you spend with just your family. Whether it’s playing at a park, going to brunch, cooking a meal or even watching a movie, keep that time sacred.
Most importantly, hang in there! There is an end to every military school and your husbands career will be better for it. It’s these kinds of situations that not only make our marriages stronger but make us military spouses unlike any other!
Allison Filbert Young is an Army wife, mother, writer and gypsy at heart. She enjoys spending too much money on clothing and then writing about it on her own humor and military lifestyle blog at http://www.armywifestyleblog.com
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