I received an email this morning from a military spouse who is disliking the unfriendly wives and cliques she is encountering in the military life. Watch as I share my thoughts in the video below:


I would love to hear your thoughts on how to avoid cliques onpost and ideas on how to make friends in the comments section below.

See what the AW101 Fans are saying about this blog post!



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Krystel is the mom of two and an Army Wife. In addition to Army Wife 101 she is the Co-Founder of SoFluential.com a digital media agency that connects brands with the military market. She has appeared on MSNBC ,FOX LA and formerly was a weekly contributor to HLN's "Raising America". She has written for various outlets including Sheknows and Lifetime and is a big fan of cupcakes and french fries.

8 Comments on Ask Army Wife 101: Cliques and Unfriendly Military Wives

  1. I’m like you, I have no problems being on my own… and I really don’t know what tell the lady asking b/c I have never dealt with dramatic wives in real life, or dramatic women in general in my real life. The few I have met, I met online and then in real life and we will be friends forever =) I’m also like you in that I kinda have a radar about what women to steer clear of.

  2. I think the best way to avoid drama is to keep people to a minimum, I meet lots of people everyday but I have learned that what I do and say to people should be kept short and if someone comes to me and talk about the next person I try to stay clear of that mess because if they talk about them they will talk about you so dont give them ammo to have something to talk about…. learn to keep your business between you and GOD and everything will work out …

  3. She must be at Fort Drum. Lol. But seriously it’s really bad here! We were stationed in Korea first and I met tons of amazing people there. Then we came to Drum and everyone is catty and your husband’s rank is key and all this other annoying stuff. I’ve been at Drum for 9 months and only associate with a few people. It’s hard for me because I am a very social person but it is nice not dealing with that. So my advice is don’t subject yourself to those kinds of people. I promise they are not all like that. You just have to look a little harder to find the good ones. Good luck!!!

  4. i think u are right about the radar..but before i learned to pick up on stuff i was friends with a neighbor and she was nothing but drama. it pissed me off cause i was not even a spouse i was still in the navy and single. all i can ssay is try to stay away from the caddy ones u will meet one or two nice people eventually or if you o hang out with a group just be very weary. stay to myself i have a few friends i see from time to time…but sometimes the fb pages like army wife 101 really do help im a navy wife and love this page!!! you can meet some cool online friends who can support you.

  5. I for one live off base. It’s good to have that space and it gives me the opportunity to meet people from the neighborhood vs just military related people. Also I try to keep friendships to a minimum and maintain contact with my real friends back home. Everyone is not your friend and commoradarie amongst women is almost nil. I limit myself to only one military group function every couple of months anything beyond that is optional. I am not anti social not by a ling shot but I do keep people at a distance and do not discuss my private family life with them. It’s hard to get to know people and even harder when someone is always moving. If you have friends elsewhere keep a good repoire with them, blog, go to school, anything to keep yourself busy you will be less inclined to care about what other people think or do.

  6. Aloha Ladies,
    I totally agree with what AW101 is saying. DRAMA will only come if you allow it. One thing that I do is read a person when I first meet them. I try my best not to judge a book by its cover, nor let others opinions influence my own. I kind of put people through a trial. I always stick by the saying “When people have shown out, they are giving you the real them”, SO BELIEVE THEM! DONT CHOOSE THESE PEOPLE AS FRIENDS! You know that other saying, “tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you WHO YOU ARE!” SO TRUE!, yes we are military spouses, we all share the same life style, but do we really have to be so immature at times? NO, The biggest challenge in life is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else. So my advice is be YOURSELF and those people that are just like you wil come!

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