Time and time again I have received the “side eye” when asked if my kid(s) go to sleepovers. I mean if you know me then you know I am a really crazy fun down to earth parent and have a lot fun with my kids. They are allowed to do many things that I know other parents would cringe at the thought of ,but the one thing I can’t let them do at the moment is go to sleepovers.
Part of the problem is that as a child and even teenager I was not allowed to sleep at other people’s house. In fact I didn’t go to my first so called sleepover until I was 17 years old. At that point I put up a really good argument because it was getting to a point of stupidity of being that old and not being able to sleep over at a friends house.
Believe me being a military spouse and formerly living on post where things could be really tight knit made me very aware of the sleepover phenomenon. I got that spouses considered themselves to be close friends and took turns letting the kids sleep over at times. Frankly for me I couldn’t see letting my little six year old who I still had to assist with bath time and brushing his teeth go to someone else’s house while I sat and worried about how he would wipe his butt properly if I weren’t there.
The thought of some time to myself also seemed nice but for me it was an I’ll pass situation.
On the flip side the news and talk show addict in me has seen one to many horror stories of kids going to sleepovers only to go missing, be molested or worse. I know that chances are this probably is the rarest case of things happening but quite honestly households are way different then in the past. Yes, yes I know I will have the naysayers who will say you always had to worry about these factors. Say what you will but the truth is the world has changed . Just look at the shootings every five minutes and the ways kids handle fights and bullying etc, shall I go on? The world is not the same!
I digress but I say all that to say you have to many unknowns. Yes little Sally’s mom may be sweeter then a lollipop but what about little Sally’s moms boyfriend who is now spending the night there, or a relative you are unfamiliar with.
One to many times have I searched the FamilyWatchdog.US site only to see my quaint little all American picket fenced neighborhood lit up with red and yellow squares of offenses against children or sexual offenses against adults. You pick a neighborhood based on so many factors and yet when the lovely neighbors down the street allow a family member to come live with them, you can’t help but worry. Hell it could be the seemingly nice all American couple who keeps their house neat and comes and goes normally who you would have to worry about at a children’s sleepover.
I know my critics ( I like saying that makes me feel important) will see this and say “and so is life…don’t let your kid miss out on fun”. Yet I can’t help but to feel that the days of innocent sleepovers are long gone with the exception of people you know really well , and even that is a hard one considering all you hear these days.
Call it overreacting but I am not afraid to admit that the sleepover thing is one event in life I am afraid of tackling.
Do you let your child go to sleepover and what is the youngest you think they should start?
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Army Wife 101
Krystel is the mom of two and an Army Wife. In addition to Army Wife 101 she is the Co-Founder of SoFluential.com a digital media agency that connects brands with the military market. She has appeared on MSNBC ,FOX LA and formerly was a weekly contributor to HLN's "Raising America". She has written for various outlets including Sheknows and Lifetime and is a big fan of cupcakes and french fries.
Krystel is the mom of two and an Army Wife. In addition to Army Wife 101 she is the Co-Founder of SoFluential.com a digital media agency that connects brands with the military market.
She has appeared on MSNBC ,FOX LA and formerly was a weekly contributor to HLN's "Raising America". She has written for various outlets including Sheknows and Lifetime and is a big fan of cupcakes and french fries. 16 Comments on *GASP* Your Kids Don’t Go To Sleepovers???
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I have let my oldest do overnights in the past, but only with long-term friends. As a single mom, I do have one friend who has watched a couple of my boys overnight while I did a Scouting overnight thing with the older one. But even with Scouts, I won’t let them do an overnight event without me or their dad going with them. Those boys can get crazy, and the men in charge can get a little, shall we say, complacent? My parents let me do sleepovers as a kid, and no good came from it! That’s when we did prank phone calling, ate waaaay too much crud, talked about things polite young ladies should not be talking about.
I don’t blame you…I don’t like leaving my DOGS with anyone.
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The one time I let my parents take my oldest for a week they ended up having an earthquake in VA, talk about regretting it. I am not really sure I will NEVER let them have a sleepover at a friends house. I would feel better if the sleepover was at my house when they are older. I do feel it would be easier if we were back in our home town where we would know the people around us a lot better. I do remember sleepovers in middle/high school and they were lots of fun so I hope my kids will be mature enough to enjoy them someday.
It’s strange that I find myself on this website obviously made for wives and mothers but after reading your article I felt compelled to respond. I was raised by parents who wouldn’t let me sleepover unless it was a special occasion (birthdays mostly) and even then my parents would make a huge deal out of it and almost every time it resulted in a fight. My dad just couldn’t get over the stress and worry it caused him for me to leave the house for a night. All it did was make me feel isolated and different. Everyone my age seemed to be allowed to sleepover almost anytime they wanted. I felt like I was being punished for no reason. Think about this, is it really fair to deprive your kids of experiences they will treasure just because you are too worried to let them go? Kids need to have some independence in youth or they will grow up emotionally crippled like me. Check up on them, make sure you can reach them, and make sure they are in a safe place. But please, do not suffocate them with over protection. Speaking as a young adult who had over protective parents, I can say it did me more harm then good.
Hi Jason! Thanks for stopping by and I really appreciate hearing a different opinion on the matter. I too have been thinking about this and while I am still not exactly for it , I am considering being a bit more open depending on the situation. I too have very overprotective parents and also affected me alot . Thanks for visiting!
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I feel that is mostly deepened on the age if you keep your kids so close their not going to know how to be by themselves. I have a daughter (13) and two sons (5) and (7) and I’ve respcently let my daughter got visit her sister I a different state by herself on a plane she spen lots of time there. Now I’m sending her to camp for a weekend. And later in the summer she will be attending different camps. I feel it’s ok to let your kids spend the nights at someone house. You just must know the person before you send your kids to them. Just because their family does not mean that they are more trust worthy then other parents. Sometimes family me overs are the ones you should be more worried about. I say with Experince something had happen when my daughter was younger a an uncles house.it just depends on who your leaving your child at who’s house.