I hate when hubby is away or on duty.

Naturally it’s for all the common reasons ie: him getting hurt , missing quality time with kids, family events etc. One of the biggest reasons is that I really have trouble sleeping when my husband is not here. Frankly I am scared crap-less to sleep when he isn’t around.

Yesterday was a perfect example as hubby had twenty four duty and once again all my fears about staying home at night by myself came to light. Part of the problem is that a few months ago I got coerced into seeing Paranormal Activity 3, which I vowed I wouldn’t do. I did though, and now I have an issue with stairs and thinking someone is going to be at the top or bottom of them. It sounds silly but it is very true. When I arrived here in NC I got my beautiful home with two floors just like usual but this time my bed faces the door and and I haven’t figured out another way to put it , so therefore I am forced to constantly stare at the hallway which is right by the stairs. I want to close my door but thanks to the hit TV show “The Walking Dead” I am seriously afraid some zombie outbreak will happen and I won’t be able to get to my kids right away. I kid you not! I’m a planner to a degree and the door being open is part of my exit plan!

Excuse the boxes I’ve been doing some sorting and shredding! Notice the door way out to the hall!

I know right now you are sitting here like this woman is seriously crazy but this is what happens when you over think or apply every movie or television show you watch to real life. Beyond the TV stuff, it seems like every noise happens when he is not here like last night something decided it wanted to fall in the kitchen. Why of all nights! Some days I swear that the garage door is going to have a malfunction and open in the middle of the night and someone will rummage through my garage.

I used to think I wanted this dream home that’s so big that you can’t hear what’s going on in the other parts of the house , the truth now is HELL NO! Give me a nice little clean basic home any day this way if Jason, Freddy or a Jeffrey Dahmer wanna-be decides to pay me a visit …i’ll be ready!

Are you a wuss when the spouse is away…do you over think every noise or sound in the house…every scary movie you watched?

Share below!



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Krystel is the mom of two and an Army Wife. In addition to Army Wife 101 she is the Co-Founder of a digital media agency that connects brands with the military market. She has appeared on MSNBC ,FOX LA and formerly was a weekly contributor to HLN's "Raising America". She has written for various outlets including Sheknows and Lifetime and is a big fan of cupcakes and french fries.

42 Comments on A Few Stupid Reasons I Can’t Sleep During Deployments, Duty and TDY’s!

  1. I understand completely. I’m prone to sleeping with lights on. And I put my kids in the bed with me, because what if something happens and I can’t get them or what if somebody breaks in and they’re all the way in the other bedroom? Stupid but true.

    • Annie I did the same thing last night. I dragged my poor 7 year old out of his bed to come and sleep with me in mine. I felt safer lol!

  2. I always think I hear stuff in the house at night I have a baseball bat beside my bed at all times. I never watch like CSI or NCIS or anything like that lol.

    • LOL I don’t blame you! I have a small knife and bleach spray in my bathroom. My thought process is that I can spray them in the eyes and that should give me some run time haaa!

  3. Deployments aside, because having my infantryman in combat is absolutely scary, I enjoy the quiet time when he is gone for short stints like staff duty for 24 hours or a week in the field. Our son is only 2, so I’m sure we have some times ahead of dealing with his extra emotions about daddy not being home on schedule, but other than that, I like the time alone. I can get more reading done, I can clean without him in the way lol, instead of preparing dinner for three, I make little meals that are whatever my little one and I want (PBJ and cookies for dinner? Heck yes.), and I catch up on movies or TV shows that I know he prefers not to watch. I actually “save” a list of movies and shows, like Gray’s Anatomy, just for those times that he’s gone ;) As for being lonely in bed, I used to use a big huge body pillow to help that, but now our son seems to sneak in more often than not anyway so I get a snuggle buddy whether I want one or not ;)
    That said, all that stuff is wonderful and relaxing, when I know he’s not in danger. Gone to a combat zone is a whole different thing. One we haven’t dealt with yet as parents, either. I’m dreading this next D.

    • Oh yes Diana Infantry in a combat seems very scary…I don’t blame you for being nervous. I am sure your hubby will be just fine but yes those are certainly the worries we endure.

      I’m with you I don’t mind my alone time during the day right up until it’s time to go to bed then my nerves and imagination start acting up lol!

  4. I can’t say I share in you fear but I bet I would if I had seen that movie! Honestly I get the portable dvd player in our room and fall asleep watching a movie on nights he isn’t home.

  5. I do it too!!! His whole last deployment, instead of sleeping in the brand new big fluffy bed, I slept on the couch. With a stuffed bear. Lol!!! I don’t have kids, so when I’m alone, I am truly alone and a big ole chicken! Glad to know I’m not the only one…

  6. Lol.. I so agree when hubby is gone Im so scare why do we watch those shows knowing we be paranoid? lol…..The more you think about it the more you hear… and think you are seening when really it is all in your head. truly you are not crazy at all

  7. Thank you for posting this! Yes, I know it is irrational and I know it is silly…and Hubby blames all of the “ghost hunting” shows I watch on why I never sleep well while he is gone—but now I know I am not alone! I simply do not sleep well while he is gone…and the house always seems noiser when he isn’t around.

    • You must be a TAPS and Ghost Adventures fan lol? My hubby loves those shows and I can’t say I do but when we were stationed in Savannah he became really into the paranormal investigations.

  8. When I was reading what you wrote I was thinking “I thought I was the only one with these thoughts”. And to be honest it was nice to see that there are at least a few others with and “active” mind when the husband is gone. I bring both of my kids (3 and 6), my 2 dogs and my cat in my bedroom and lock my bedroom door. Before my husband left I had him install an alarm system so I can hear if anyone gets in the house. I make sure I check every window and door at least once (but ends up 2 or 3 times) before I head to bed. I don’t know if that is anxiety or what, but I to have quite a few exit stratiges and those can be executed much faster if my children are in the room with me. :) Lol

    • I absolutely pulled my 7 year old out of his bed last night and made him sleep in mine lol . The problem is he likes to sleep in his own bed lol and gets mad at me .

      I am cracking up how you said you bring the 2 kids the cat and the dog in the room lol!

  9. It’s so funny you posted this!!! We just PCS’ed and our new house is set up the exact same way as the house in Paranormal Ativity 2!!! I just told my husband the other night when I was carrying our sleeping 5 yr old up to bed all I kept thinking about was being knocked back by some ghost. Oh the wandering mind. So glad I am not alone!

  10. Oh goodness, I used to be that bad too! It was horrible during my husband’s first deployment. I don’t think I slept for like the first half of it! I suddenly had this fear of pictures hanging on the walls and I swear I must’ve seen all of them staring back at me with red, hateful eyes! There were so many nights when I got on my knees to pray that I could feel someone breathing down my neck, but then I’d turn around and there’d be no one there.

    There was one time when I was on the phone talking to a dear friend of mine about demons when suddenly the phone went dead and all the lights as well as the TV started to flicker. I nearly peed my pants!!!

    I’ve learned a lot since then and thankfully no long have any problems with hubby being gone. I sleep like a baby whether he’s with me or not, thank God! And now I NEVER watch anything that crosses the line from scary to down right messed up (like zombies, witch craft, and the demonic…no horror for me). I like my sleep, thank you!

    • OMG Thrifty Mommy! That would have been enough to send me over the edge . That part about the phone going dead I would have seriously ( no offense) crapped on myself. I am glad you have been able to get over it and finally get some sleep :)

  11. Yes! Exactly. I am EXACTLY the same way. Everything you said, form not wanting a big house so that I can hear everything going on, to having escape plans, etc. To be fair though, I’ve always been like this. I never sleep well when I’m home by myself. I guess I think that being home alone means I’m the only one there to react to an emergency, and being asleep is the best way to be least aware of the surroundings and what’s going on. I’m glad you posted this though, it’s kind of nice knowing I’m not the only one like this.

  12. I so understand, the first deployment I solved things by sleeping with a fan on high (white noise) so every little noise would not keep me awake all night. Which is fine unless I sleep somewhere other than home, even with my husband I now need my “white noise” to sleep! Not to mention I often tell my husband he should be able to see the house from where ever he happens to be since it is lite up like Las Vegas, hazard duty pay is really just to cover all the “extra” electric bills at home for us doing what ever we need to do to get some sleep!

  13. I do the exact same thing. When we lived at Robins AFB we lived in the privatized housing. Our house was on the back of the street where everyone drives through. All we had separating us is a chain link fence with some barbed wire running over the top of it. When my husband deployed for 8 months I bought our dog Daisy. I was just terrified of someone getting into my home and I not even knowing. She barks like crazy if someone is even near our home so I did feel safer after that. I do sometimes drag my baby boys into bed with me. I feel safer knowing that if someone did break in I have my boys in my room with me at least. I don’t like to sleep alone in the house either, it’s just a thing. So needless to say there were a lot of sleepless nights while he was/is gone.

  14. this is so funny! i wasnt sitting here thinking youre crazy at all, i was thinking im glad im no tthe only one! lol im also a paranoind one. just about 3 months ago we moved to Pensylvannia. i live in a very nice home, a very nice neighborhood. however, my houes is the 3 last at the top of some “mountain” and there nothing but woods around. my sliding glass door in teh livingroom has no way of me covering it and it faces the back of the house where theres nothing but pitch black trees at night. all the basement windows face that side too (the basement is almost finished and looks its like a whole house down there). so my fear is that “what if some one is watching me and i wont know cuz its pitch black? what is some one sneaks in throught the basement while my husband goes to school in georgia? surely that only happens in the movies right?! my husband thinks im crazy and paranoid! but, UGH! so, thanks for posting, im so glad im not the only who is scared to death when husband is away. ;)

  15. im such a big baby when my husband leaves, i normally go out and sleep on the couch and put 48930215843 night lights around the house. he picks on me for it but hey whatever gets you by right?

  16. I’m not scared, but definitely don’t sleep as soundly when he is not home! Same reasons I think, in case something happens I will hear it. My mom told me to keep wasp spray next to the bed, its apparently terrible to get in your eyes and sticky (not to mention it aims really far) to use in an emergency! Baseball bats are nice too!

  17. That’s so funny sounds like me hubby had duty this week and my bed also faces the door and I can look down the stairs. I tossed and turned and turned the TV on; than I called him and talked a little. Now mind you I had my own house prior to marrying my soldier and lived alone but I’m like a little scary child when he’s away..

  18. I lock my door, and put my dogs in bed with me at night. Even when my husband is home i sleep with the tv on with the mute on. The light helps me sleep.

  19. I feel your pain! I have even went as far as being afraid someone will use a ladder to climb in an upstairs window! Talk about giving the “bad guys” too much credit! lol. But I think it comes from the fact that I was born and raised a small town girl. Imagine, when we were stationed at Bragg, the first time seeing Fayetteville, I was beyond nervous at how big it was! lol. We’ve since PCSed, and now live in a one story, but I have developed a new fear here. After watching some show about a lady having a man hide in her attic crawl space and come out to try to kill her, I am terrified of my garage! (That’s where the opening to my attic is) Also have the fear of someone hiding in my backseat! lol. So I totally get where you are coming from!

  20. on the nights i actually do sleep through the night i wake up with horrible nightmares about him id rather sleep restlessly than wake up feeling the efffects of a dream

  21. I put up the baby gate so if anyone comes in the apartment they will have to make noise before they get to the bedroom. So I have time to get my 9mm I keep close by. (I keep it on safety and don’t load it but have a loaded magazine close to it). Before I got my gun I kept a hammer by my bed. I’m finally starting to get some sleep now lol.

    • HAHAHAHA That’s what I do too!! I have one at the bottom of the stairs and one at the top so maybe they’d trip lol. I have my gun between my mattresses and locked but not loaded so all I have to do is cock it and shoot. As embarrassing as it sounds, I’ve actually ran through maneuvers (i.e. rolling off the bed to get to my gun) so I’m prepared and muscle memory takes over haha. Reading all these other comments have added more to my paranoia, now i’m going to be worried of someone hiding in our attack lol.

  22. I am a chicken as well. I jump at every little noise and sleep with a baseball bat under the bed. We do have an alarm system, and it has made me feel a little bit better, but I’m still chicken. Hubby has been wanting a dog when we move into a bigger place and I’m starting to think it might be a good idea.

  23. I understand you completely!!! When my hubby’s gone I either sleep in the bedroom and have the hall light on or I sleep on the couch in the livingroom with the Laundy room light on. Under our bed are Chinese swords my husband bought at some point, I have pepperspray in my purse and my thing is if I sleep downstairs in the livingroom I can just run out the front or back door… Wherever I sleep my kids sleep so I don’t have to run for them. And it seems when I sleep in the bedroom that I constantly hear noises in the hallway or on the stairs…. I never believed in paranormal things until my granddad passed and also one of my friends. With both events weird things started happening around the house…. So yes I’m scared when hubby is gone. I always have the phone under my pillow so it’s right there and i can call 911 if I have to… and my purse next to me so i have money and car keys with me while I’m on the run… You never know lol

  24. WOW LOL I THOUGHT I WAS ALONE!!! I appreciate everyone sharing so much! This is my first deployment as an army wife , and I am right here on the couch with the phone, purse, and keys. :) We have a lovely bed upstairs but somehow I have navigated down stairs and I do not want to sleep up there! lol I miss my hubby bad! UGHHH CANT WAIT TILL HE COMES HOME!!!

  25. I completely understand! My husband is deployed as well and I lay in bed all night worrying someone is going to break in. Before we moved into our house, it sat empty for a couple months and in that time, squatters broke on and vandalized it (nothing major, it took maybe an hour to clean). Thing is, the security alarm was supposedly set during this time. So I’m worried that there’s nothing stopping them from coming back. Now I sleep with a gun (and a knife as backup) by the bed at night — just in case.

  26. I do the same thing, especially with the Zombie thing. I live on the 3rd floor and every time i take our dog out at night and I’m coming up the stairs I think of ways to escape if a zombie comes running out at me. Then I stay up for hours. Just last night/this morning I stayed up till 6 AM not being able to sleep.

  27. I hate when he is gone AND there is artillery shaking my house all night. I always have a few panicked moments wondering if someone is trying to get in or if it is just artillery. I have to check the noise advisory page on the website just to see if they have posted anything.

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