Republished: Today is payday in the military world so I thought I would re-share these fun fictional rules for shopping in the commissary.

I am always thinking of the craziest stuff . I’m just random and sometimes my random thoughts find themselves turned into a blog post , a tweet or a Facebook update.

Today I was thinking if I could make an announcement on the loud speaker in the commissary with rules for shopping in there what would they be.

Here is what I came up with .


1. All rugrats and crumb snatchers must be attached to a cart in someway shape or form. Antibacterial gels are attached to the carts but we would still prefer that you don’t let your child dig wedgies or pick their noses and then touch the grapes and apples as if it’s the cutest thing.

The Aisles

2. The middle of the aisle is not your socialization spot nor is it a parking spot for your cart, please be considerate of the patrons who are shopping and want to get the hell out of the commissary because of people like you .

Check Writing

3. If you know you are writing a check to pay for your order please have the check already filled out instead of waiting until the very end . The commissary doesn’t change it’s name and you don’t need permission to sign your signature ahead of time.

The Line

4. When the electronic voice at the registers says “Next please” Goooooo! Please don’t look around as if you are shocked that you are next in line.

Self Check Out

5. The “Self Checkout” is not for you to ring up two weeks worth of groceries. It has a limit sign for a reason. Furthermore if you don’t know how to use the “Self Checkout” please don’t choose payday to give yourself “Self Checkout 101”.

If you could , what rules would you give people military spouses shopping in the commissary?



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Krystel is the mom of two and an Army Wife. In addition to Army Wife 101 she is the Co-Founder of SoFluential.com a digital media agency that connects brands with the military market. She has appeared on MSNBC ,FOX LA and formerly was a weekly contributor to HLN's "Raising America". She has written for various outlets including Sheknows and Lifetime and is a big fan of cupcakes and french fries.

125 Comments on Attention Commissary Shoppers: Army Wife 101’s Rules for Shopping in the Commissary

  1. My gripes are mostly related to the aisles. Have common courtesy and recognize when you are blocking traffic because you are parked at an angle, in the middle or even better stopped at the aisle entry.

  2. I totally agree which is why I’m a wal mart shopper lol. Another rule I would add is not to treat the parking lot like its tokyo drift. A parking spot will be available to you. Whats do bad about walking cheats lol

  3. Cute. :) As a mom of twins, I would also add –please please please do NOT use the carts that are very obviously designed for TWINS (or other pairs of small children) to haul around your perfectly capable (of walking) single 7-year-old!!! Ditto when it’s the very last cart and you have a single 2-year-old. Yes, the twin carts are often more comfortable and slightly more secure than sitting your child in the child seat spot (facing you) in the back of the cart, and if there are several available by all means feel free to use them. But when you run ahead carrying your single child and snatch the last one right in front of me taking 3x as long to get to the store keeping 2 in tow and out of harm’s way in the crowded parking lot, don’t be surprised when I scream in frustration at you and don’t even THINK about giving me that innocent look like you are too stupid to recognize that these carts are designed for TWO children!!!

    • yes they are designed for 2 children, but if I only have 1 of my kids with me, and there is only carts for 2 kids available, I am going to use it. Your theory has a flaw in it, just because you have 2 children with you does not move you to the front of the line to use the cart built for 2. You rather inconvience another family just so your family can get what they need?

      • WOW. You do realize that ALL carts are designed for one kid, right? Your single child doesn’t need a 2 seater cart – stick them in the front of a regular cart. How rude you must be to deliberately take a 2 seated cart for your one child, knowing someone else could actually use that second seat.

        • Heather,
          Having only one child , I do get the two seater cart. My child thinks its fun. So what am I suppose to tell her, no baby because you are an only child you can’t have the fun cart. I think not! If coming to the commissary with all your kids is a problem leave them or find some to go with you. It’s not being rude when my child just wants to have fun.

    • This drives me nuts! I don’t so much mind when it’s a toddler in the two kid cart because it is often a more “fun” cart but seriously I want to kick parents in the shin who think that their 6+ year old needs to sit down in one.

  4. Kindly do not block the door ways of the commissary with buggies.

    Couponer’s please do not take every thing on the shelf some people only use the commissary and would prefer not to fight the traffic to get on and off post for one bottle of mustard!

    If you do want to chat please move to the side or somewhere where it isn’t busy.

    Please don’t let you kids chew on items and then put it back!!! YUCK!

    Just because some one says excuse me doesn’t mean you need to look at them like they are speaking some foreign language please scoot over or something!

    • Also, when someone does say “excuse me,” don’t give them dirty looks like asking you to move over a few inches is the most offensive thing someone could ever say to you.

    • Couponer’s please do not take every thing on the shelf some people only use the commissary and would prefer not to fight the traffic to get on and off post for one bottle of mustard!
      Its intresting that you post that, I have seen guys shopping for the squadron snack shop clean an entire shelf of chips, soda, and individual cookies to put into the gedunk. Its ok for them to clear the shelf because they don’t use coupons, but it is not ok for a coupon user to clear the shelf? When something is a good price, most people will buy a few to stock up. So if you have 5 people buy 2 of the item whether they use coupons or not, the shelf will be cleared. Don’t judge how or why people shop.

      • woah, way to take it personal. I think she meant people who buy 20 of the same item in one trip. It’s common courtesy to call ahead and place special orders if you plan on buying tons of one item. It isn’t hard to do!

  5. If you absolutely MUST stop to search a few shelves for a specific item, say, trying to find the product you have a coupon for or one that’s on your shopping list, and you KNOW there are 5 people behind you, MOVE OVER!!!! I’m all for coupon savings & I understand certain families/kids/dietary restrictions require specific brands or what have you, but don’t make everyone behind you have to wait 5 minutes while you browse!

  6. this one might seem extremely rude BUT here it goes… I hate when people are too fat to walk through the commisary and take the wheelchair shopping carts.. I had someone with me who needed groceries who had knee surgery and couldn’t physically get through the commisary. There were no electic carts available, and I left her sitting outside as i tackled her list. I happened to see two non-disabled, extremely fat women in the riding carts!!!!! I was so pissed!!

    • I think its just judgemental for you to say that. Because my mom is disabled and ended up gaining weight for medication, etc and she has to use a electric cart. So unless you actually know if they are not disabled id stick to keeping my mouth shut.

      • Sarah, this is all judgemental… it’s really turning me off to this blog altogether. I’m really surprised/ saddened by so many of the responses here…

        • Hi Kristin ,

          I am sorry I blog my opinions but I never mentioned anything about carts or disabled people. I really would hate that you let others opinions stop you from coming to the site. I can’t control what others say. The blog post is meant and fun …I apologize that you’re offended.

    • julie – thanks for sharing your THOUGHTS. a lot of people may give you s**t about it, as if voicing “thoughts” is the most insane and rudest thing ever, but don’t let it deter you. sometimes we think of the rudest things and of course, because of common courtesy, wouldn’t ever say them out loud, but on a blog/forum it’s fine (that’s why they MAKE blogs/forums)!! your opinion is your opinion. it’s quite judgemental of others to put you down for it. kind of hypocritical IMO, for them to say YOU are judgemental, when in fact, they are, too. come to think of it, everyone is. it’s just human nature.

    • Well I’m a PHAT girl myself Julie lol! But I wouldn’t assume it’s cause they are larger people that’s why they are in the wheelchair carts. I was in one because I tore my ACL, I’d hate to think someone thought it was because I was too fat.

    • I love (sarcastic) how you say this “might” seem rude. Who are you to say whether or not someone is disabled. Perhaps the bigger issue is that the commissary doesn’t have enough motorized carts to accommodate the large number of patrons who need them.

  7. I second everything previously mentioned (I have four kiddos and could murder the people with sometimes NO children using the multiple kid carts) and add this: Pay attention to where you walk/push your cart! I don’t let my five year old walk in the commissary because of the number of people who stare off into space or are too busy talking on their phones to watch where they’re going.; even with a hand on the cart, he’s been bumped by others’ carts, as have I, on multiple occassions. It’s not the demolition derby, but it certainly feels like it!

    • I have had my son facing me in the buggy and I walked around the front to put something in and they ran into my buggy and smashed his poor 1 yr old legs!

    • And don’t let your 5-year-old push the cart because it is cute. It is not so cute when they run over someone else’s kid or into my heels!!

  8. Put clothes on! There is a place to wear silky nighties, but it’s not the commissary at 4:00! I don’t mean those who throw on sweats or pajama bottoms, but leave the lingere at home for your hubby! Also, the shorts and dresses that are so short, you can’t bend over without causing a riot or shirts that are three sizes too small…it doesnt make you look sexy, you look like overstuffed sausage.

  9. I agree with the short skirts and dresses and 6 inch heels are not appropriate to grocery shop in unless you are going to get a bottle of wine to take to a party!

  10. It hurts my heart to say this, but… Please help the elderly! So many times I have been to the commissary and noticed that a veteran or their spouse has needed help reaching something, or reading a label, or something of the such, and SO many people just walk by like they are too good to take a single minute to help! And yes they are slow sometimes, but please learn patience. Someday we will all be where they are! Show some respect!

  11. One of my BIGGEST pet peeves at the commissary is when 2 people come together, and one stands in line with an empty basket while the other runs back and forth through the store grabbing things to put in the cart. I have NEVER seen this happen until I started going to the commissary. It wouldn’t be so bad, but when the person with the cart is next in line and the system says “Next Please” and the other person isnt back with the last few items yet, it would be courteous to LET SOMEONE ELSE go ahead of you…but NO, they didnt do that, they just held up the line until the other person returned with the final items.

  12. I can’t stand parents who let their kids act like the commissary is a play ground, not to long ago I witnessed this child running wild in the commissary while the mother was blocking the aisle talking on the cell phone. Please people watch your kids so someone else don’t have too, and don’t get an attitude when the store manager asks you to gain control of your little monster..

  13. ugh. i can’t stand it when women think the commissary is the place for stripper heels. i mean, come on. if you’re L@@KING for attention, trust me, you’ll get it. the WRONG kind. just sayin’. i’ve been known to give these chicks looks like, “WTF?” it’s a grocery store, not Club 69.

  14. Maybe we should go back to the “old” ways of the commissary when women had to wear a dress or skirt or she could not shop. children under 10 years old HAD to be seated in a cart or you were removed and the commander was contacted. Commissary shoppers are regular people, except they are military or have a military sponsor. Every single one of these gripes is a gripe you would see out in town. I am not quite sure why people feel shopping at the commissary would be an enlightened experience. LOL

  15. I don’t like the ones who have no shopping list and they are just standing there
    staring and then roam mindlessly in front of me oblivious to the fact that others have an agenda.

  16. I dislike how some walk around talking on cell phone loud as heck…no, I do not want to hear you conversation. Oh, & I REALLY dislike how some ppl always have a reason to not tip the baggers (i.e. they’re rude, they didn’t do it right, etc) point is they are doing a job & many of them are trying to put themselves thru school. They don’t get paid & to be quite honest so many are rude to them so I understand how they can be rude right back after being at work & not being paid, getting paid change or an excuse. Btw I’m not a bagger I worked at commissary, my daughter worked there & see how they get treated by the commissary & patrons.

    • On that note, baggers work there by free will. I should not have to be forced to tip them nor should I be forced to have them walk me out when I say I don’t want their help and they do it anyway. Any other grocery store bags your things as part of the service, and choosing to be walked out is at your prerogative. Change is money, if they don’t like it, that’s their bad. And I HATE when they expect tips or complain about the way someone tips them! All of which is frowned upon by most managers and head baggers. Be friendly, help when asked, accept when denied, and maybe you’ll have better luck getting more tips :)

      • I’m afraid to tell the badgers at my commissary that I don’t need help out if I don’t have any cash on me. Every single time I do I end up with bread at the bottom of the canned goods bag and over stuffed bags ready to burst.

  17. My biggest complaint about ANY grocery store is people who “go up the down” in the aisle. It’s like driving!! Stay to the right unless you are passing. I have had people stare me down because I won’t move for them when they are on the wrong side, but it’s hard to move when people are on the other side and going the right way. And yes, this is at any grocery store. There are a couple bases that actually have arrows for those who don’t know this ‘unwritten common sense’ rule. It would make it a bit easier. Also, I have walked out with bruises on my ankles from being hit by the carts. I’m not a little woman, I’m not hard to see…pay attention. We all love being in the grocery store as much as the next person…….

  18. I just wish the Commissary would double coupons! I mean, I shop there to save money, and yes, I use coupons but not doubling them is frustrating. I’m not talking about the extreme couponers out there. It just sucks when you have a coupon for .30 off 2 items that each cost $3 dollars and all you can get is thae .30 off.
    However, I LOVE that we can use coupons that have expired up to 6 months after the expiration dates!

      • The commissaries that I have been to have all accepted expired coupons. The ones that I have been to that accepted them are:
        – Fort Sam Houston
        – Fort Eustis
        – Randolph Air Force Base

        I always thought that the commissary had the lowest prices but I have found that HEB, the supermarket that is really close to me, has a lot of things cheaper. I’m talking about Brisket (almost $2/lb cheaper) cheese, eggs and other things also.

        Please don’t get me wrong, I still shop at the commissary the majority of the time. I think in some places it depends on what the sales tax is. If you are in a state with a low sales tax rate it may be cheaper to shop at a regular supermarket than the commissary.

        Like I said originally, I just wish they would double coupons, even if they just did it 1 day per week.

    • Nancy, yes, that would be nice, but will never happen. The Commissary doesn’t make a profit off of items, so that’s why prices are so low, they are priced at what they pay for them. The surcharge (5%) helps make up for that fact, but it goes back into making the Commissaries even better :)

  19. Wow, I’ve never seen such mean spirited postings. Way to shed a horrible light on military commissary shoppers. Frankly my rule of thumb has always been if I don’t have the time to suffer these commissary frustrations, I don’t choose that day to shop.

  20. hahahaha!!! I couldn’t have said it better myself. I definitely get super irritated with the isles because when i go grocery shopping I want to get in and get out asap. People who are blocking the isles and infringing on that goal to get out fast. It really bugs me.

    The other thing that I absolutely cannot stand is when those baggers automatically assume that I want them taking my stuff out. NO THANK YOU!!! I’m perfectly capable of taking it out myself. Can we make rules for the baggers please???

  21. I Have four children 15, 12, 11, and 4- my husband has served and been seroiusly injured fighting for everyones freedom (as has most all spouses of those on this site I KNOW) but I would like to say that after a long day of waitressing, tending home and caring for my children if I go into OUR COMISSARY (which I dont do unless I absolutly have to on busy days like payday lol) and I have my four year old with me and she wants to drive in “the car” (the buggyyou are all so upset over) then by ALLLLLL means I am going to let her, please know that if I saw someone needed it more than I as a christian and well just a good human being I would give it to her. We have all given our children things that they didnt actually have to have just to put a smile on their little faces, those of you with more than one small chld, if you were in our positions- we with only one to ride in the COOL buggy at the time YOU KNOW DARN WELL YOU WOULD DO THE SAME. I also would like to say that I am in a wheelchair now have been for the past year and though I will not begin to assume people who are in the elctro ones that just happen to be heavy are in them just due to weight I will say that I have watched people OF ALL SIZES that are just flat out lazy ride thru store in them and then get up and walk just fine out the door, any way folks lighten up yes it is nice to get together and unload about all the crap as women we must endure day to day lets also remember that you dont know until youve walked a mile in their shoes or in my case my “shoe” and my chair. IT IS FINE TO UNWIND BUT WE CAN STILL BE KIND!!!!! God Bless USA, and thanks to all who serve daily and their families!

  22. ANd to my husband who will never read this I am sure HAPPY 20 years searving- cant wait to spend retirement with you lol! PROUD OF YOU BABY!!!

  23. Ok so our family is not in the military, but I completely agree and these rules should expand beyond the commissary to the grocery stores too! Common sense and common courtesy are no longer common.
    Ps-Thank you for your (you and your family’s) sacrifice for our country!

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  27. I am a military spouse and just recently decided to use the commissary for meats. I must say after reading some of these post I’m a bit put off. Some of these post seem a bit petty. My husband is 100% disabled due to a service injury. I viewed the commissary as a privilege not a right. I’ve always gotten better food deals from my local grocery stores.

  28. I’m hearing that the commissary raises prices $.30 or more on the 1st and 15th!! Does anyone know if this is true? I’m thinking about doing my own research on this and writing an article on my findings! If it’s true I think it should be stopped!! Anyone know if this is really happening?

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