Sometimes it’s a love match and sometimes it’s not. No, we’re not talking about dating, we’re talking about finding milspouse friends! Funny enough, the friendship search often echoes dating — we put our best foot forward, ask lots of questions, and see how well we fit.

We recently asked Army Wife 101 readers what traits they value in a milspouse bestie. Here are some of the responses.


“She is bold enough to be her own kind of woman and is not meshing her identity or growth in the career that her husband is creating for himself!”

“Her own identity. And someone who is a good friend even when you’re not in the room.”


“Willing to accept how crazy you can become during deployments. Lean on each other when times get tough. Supportive of each other. Honesty. Humor. Basically a sister.”

“All mine are loving..low drama..easy to talk to..look out for one another..there when ear to vent to..and a glass of wine at anytime.”


“She will drop anything to come to my rescue, she’s not judgmental, she doesn’t just disappear when her husband is home never to be heard from again until he leaves again.”


“Someone who is a bit weird like me and has a great sense of humor. Basically easy to get along with.”

“I’m hoping to find someone with the same sense of humor, who can keep a secret, and who likes to do fun things.”

“Sense of humor, honesty, lacks drama.”

“Consistency, sense of humor, honesty, trust, generosity!”

Enjoys Drinking

“Must love wine.”

“Similar interests, non-judgmental, loves coffee, loves food, open minded, good listener and loves alcohol!”

“That her partner is away when mine is so we can drink wine together while sooking about them being gone.”

“Day drinker.”

“She has to be down with wine drinking, likes to mind her own business and not get involved with all the wife drama and absolutely cannot wear her husband’s rank and doesn’t act like a fool in public then we can hang.”

“Wine and animal lover.”

Maturity/Adult Conversation

“Someone who isn’t offended by sarcasm or cursing. I do both and it’s nice to find someone I don’t have to watch what I say around them.”

“Someone who can handle profanity.”

“Maturity! I’ve got no time or energy for drama or pettiness.”

“A real down-to-earth person, and someone who can handle my bluntness if they have a question. I don’t sugar coat anything regardless of what the discussion is.”

“She doesn’t tell me to behave.”

Easy Going/Drama-Free

“Down to earth, same personality as me, easy to talk too, sweet, understanding, someone I can be myself around.”

“Somebody who is ‘low maintenance.’ Not like a sloppy, dirty person, but a friend that doesn’t require a lot of energy to be friends with.”

“No drama and low maintenance and is willing to run out the door at the last minute when I call her up for lunch!”

“Honest no drama and NO GOSSIP!”

Last, But Not Least

“She doesn’t try to sell me scentsy, wraps, or LuLaRoe!”

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A self-described “Jackie of All Trades,” former Army wife Jackie Toops enjoys exploring the various facets of her personality by chronicling military life, world travels, family, her love of the arts and more. Her academic background is in the fields of Interdisciplinary Humanities, Museum Studies and Nonprofit Management, and she has overseen public relations for museums, galleries and universities. Jackie’s articles have been featured on Army Wife 101, Wall Street International Magazine, SoFluential, HomeAway, Military Biz Connection and FamiliesGo. While stationed in Germany, she regularly discussed her articles on-air with the Armed Forces Network in Wiesbaden. A mother of two, Jackie enjoys coffee, freelance writing, languages and discovering new ways to express herself. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

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