A lot of you may be wondering what in the world I am talking about. Deployments are notorious for wreaking havoc on a marriage and creating deep issues with distance between spouses.
During deployments we are all under significant stress, communication is often less than ideal, and we are sometimes forced to cope in ways we never imagined.
So how do we weather the tough and stressful circumstances of deployment and still manage to grow a marriage?
A strong and healthy marriage is based on intention. If you intend to grow your marriage during a difficult time, then it will grow. If you intend for your marriage to weaken during deployment, then it will. Keeping an intentional mindset is powerful.
Encourage your spouse
Many months ago I was talking reading a post on Fierce Marriage about encouragement and courage. Sharing encouraging words literally places courage in a person’s heart, in the same exact way entrust means to give trust.
Offer a few surprises
I used to make the most boring care packages. Then I learned about all the unique packages other military spouses were creating. Themed care packages are so creative! Special care packages, letters and photos—all of these things can offer a fun surprise for your spouse.
Compliment each other
There are many times during deployment when I feel like I don’t like my husband all that much. Turns out I am actually just frustrated with the situation and not him at all. I try to focus on telling my husband the things I appreciate about him. It helps me stay positive and helps our relationship grow.
Focus on communication
Yes, communication during deployment is less than ideal, but when we are communicating, I am learning to listen better. Real listening is based on serving others. If my focus is to meet my own needs, rather than being a true listening ear for my spouse, then I am merely pretending to listen.
Risk being vulnerable
Be willing to share your true feelings with your spouse rather than pretend everything is smooth sailing. When you truly love someone, separation should be hard, and yes, it is also painful. Sharing my heart with my spouse helps him know that he is deeply missed and loved.
Focus on how you can really support your spouse during this time. My dad always told me the receiving is in the giving. So true! When I give my husband the utmost support it makes a positive impact on the growth of our marriage. Being generous will help nurture your relationship.
Keeping a marriage strong and healthy during deployment is incredibly difficult. We all have to power to take something positive from deployment, and this may just come in the form of a beautifully growing marriage.
What do you think about growing your marriage during deployment?
Lauren Tamm is a mother, military spouse, freelance writer, and the author of TheMilitaryWifeandMom.com. She is passionate about practical parenting, enjoying motherhood and navigating military life. She welcomes you to connect with her via her blog, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest!
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