Last year I wrote a post entitled “Please Stop Saying We Get Paid For Being Married” in which I intended to clarify the myth that money falls from the trees the minute a soldier takes on a bride or a groom.

Recently a soldier left the comment below in which I wanted to responded to him. I chose to do it via podcast  just press the play button:

Army wife 101 needs to rethink this blog:

First, married = spouse = dependent = BAH with dependents = more money than BAH without dependents

Second, if you are married, you get the choice to live on post (subject to availability) or off post. A lower ranking enlisted member who is single does not have that choice. So automatically, the married service member has a choice to receive BAH or not effectively giving him more money than the lower ranking enlisted member who cannot receive any BAH because it is dictated that he live in the barracks.

Third, let’s look at the statement “All in all they still get the same thing .” by using real numbers.

MAJ BAH with dependents at zip code 66027 = $1,608/month = $19,296 annually
MAJ BAH without dependents @ zip 66027 =$1,251/month =$15,012 annually
Weird. $19,296 does not equal $15,012. There is a difference of $357/month or $4,284/year. I would say that is substantially different than “they still get the same thing.”
Additionally, let’s look at DLA which is equal to 50% of the monthly base pay.
2LT with less than 2 years, monthly base pay = $2,784. So 50% of monthly base pay = $1,392.
So, a married 2LT with less than 2 years qualifies for an additional $1,392 merely because he is married.
Therefore, the statement, “All in all they still get the same thing,” is not true in the slightest. And it is not a misperception that you “get paid more for being married,”

It is the truth.

And please do not get me started on the other benefits of being married such as time off for having a child or time off to take/pick up kids to school or avoiding weekend duty because they need to spend time with their family. Don’t get me wrong, these are noble and worthwhile causes, but let’s not try to give credence to a view that there is no benefit to being married/having dependents and it is equal to being a single soldier.

Lastly, remember getting married was YOUR choice and serving the country was also YOUR choice. Granted, the consequences and daily living of multiple deployments is tough. But think about the single soldier who may not have someone to support them through the tough times and count yourself blessed.

I am itching to know everyone’s thoughts and opinions…share below in the comments section!



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Krystel is the mom of two and an Army Wife. In addition to Army Wife 101 she is the Co-Founder of a digital media agency that connects brands with the military market. She has appeared on MSNBC ,FOX LA and formerly was a weekly contributor to HLN's "Raising America". She has written for various outlets including Sheknows and Lifetime and is a big fan of cupcakes and french fries.

43 Comments on Please Stop Saying We Get Paid More for Being Married…Part 2

  1. I agree and disagree. For the most part disagree on avoiding work because of being married. My husband worked 18 hr graveyard shifts for 3 years. It didn’t matter if his work fell on holidays, birthdays, championships, awards or even births. He worked. He pulled duty on weekends and missed events. Still now he pulls CQ on any day thrown at him, including a birthday, a anniversary, a holiday, and 1 kids scout ceremony.

    And when it comes to pay, hate to break it but you don’t have to be married to get the dependent amount. You can have a kid, you can have a family member that is in your custody as well to get it.

  2. What this person isn’t considering is that the extra $4,000 received annually pales in comparison to what it actually costs to raise a child. Day care alone for one child could easily cost up to $5,000.00 a year. That doesn’t include food, clothing (because kids grow like weeds it seems), entertainment, and any incidentals. This still doesn’t include the food you and your spouse need to eat, the clothes you need to wear or the gas that it costs to get you to and from work and daycare. If anything, when it’s all said and done, a soldier’s choice to marry and have children actually affords them less money.

    Single soldiers don’t have as many monetary responsibilities and can easily bank whatever money they do receive or spend it as frivolously as they choose.

    Also, I find it incredibly irresponsible to highlight the “extra cash” as a perk of being married. Marriage isn’t just two people shacked up together, it’s a life long commitment and I think many younger people forget that and just see dollar signs. There use to be a time when a lower enlisted soldier had to gain permission from his commanding officer before marrying a girl. This was to prevent irresponsible and immature soldiers from taking on the weighty responsibilities of marriage and a family and shirking their commitments to the military.

    Yes it’s a soldier’s choice to get married or stay single but I hardly think a responsible soldier would take the BAH into consideration when making that choice.

    • What you are not considering is that what you are talking about has zero relevance to the question of whether or not you get paid more for being married. It is factually true that you get more money if you are married. It is also, obviously, factually true that you have more expenses, but that is true for everyone else on the planet too, and no one else gets a raise because they got married.

  3. THe thing is those who are married do not make more money.. because every extra penny goes to the spouses and children! i have 3 kids! it cost me about 500 to clothe my kids for the winter portion of school! and thats only 2 kids! the 3rd is still home! plus extra food for more people! a single soldiers only has to by for them one person! a in our case my husband has to buy for 5 .. so please please tell me how we make more when we have more mouths to feed and bodies to clothe! yes we get a bit exrtra for BAH and what not! but that is because we have to get bigger places.. lol! adn yes we get more for time in grade and service but everyone does! but a single soldier SFC with 13 years in like my husband makes more than my husband in the long run a married SFC with 3 kids and 13 years in! more mouths more bodies! more money going out the door.. but thats just my opponion!

    • “THe thing is those who are married do not make more money.. because every extra penny goes to the spouses and children!”

      You misunderstand the term “paid” and “make”. The amount you are “paid” and the amount you “make” are not impacted, at all, by how much you spend. Increasing your financial obligations has no impact on how much you make. Yes, you have less disposable income because some of it goes to those new obligations, but again that has nothing to do, at all, with the original point.

      In what other job on the planet do you get more money when you have kids? I can’t think of one. Why is that? Because it is silly to pay two people, doing the same job, different amounts because one has kids and one doesn’t. In fact it would be illegal discrimination if anyone did it outside of government.

  4. So many things that I could say in response…
    But I don’t have time right now to write out a lengthy response.
    I’ll come back…

    But real quick…
    “avoiding weekend duty because they need to spend time with their family”
    Um. That’s so not true at our post. My husband does CQ whenever they tell him to- and more often than not it’s on the weekend.

  5. It sounds like this soldier is forgetting that a single lower enlisted living in the barracks is getting the exact same “perk” of being in the military – free housing. Is he (or she) even considering that while what they may want is to not live in the barracks, and “earn” BAH, they aren’t really earning anything! That BAH goes towards the cost of housing for that servicemember and their dependents.

    DLA is to go toward the cost of moving a family across the country – not something that is banked.

    The single servicememeber has all of the same perks and benefits of being in the military. This person is just overlooking the fact that it’s in a different form. If they really did all the math out fully, they would see that they really are wrong.

    But, this person sounds pretty resentful of the fact that one military member made the decision to have the responsibility of taking care of a family in addition to serve their country. And, yes, while certain carriers have flexible enough hours where certain people can take their kids to school, or spend time with the family on weekends, it’s not always the norm, and the military definitely still comes first!

    Oh, I haven’t heard the podcast yet! Listening now! :)

  6. I think what this person is trying to say is…

    Put a single soldiers LES next to a married soldiers LES and you WILL see a difference. Period. It is the truth. I am a military spouse of 14 years with 3 kids and I know expenses are more with a family, that is not what they are referring to. Your expenses do not take away from how much BAH you are given every month. I don’t think it’s offending of them to clarify this.

    • Yes on paper it may look like the married soldier is making more money but I don’t think that he/she is looking at that only. They are also talking about taking time off so I do not believe that money is the only issue. Then think of what the married soldier is really taking home when they have extra mouths to feed or more expenses over all. I doubt what the married soldier ends up taking home is close to what the single soldier is taking home and this is from a prior service member. I made more money being single than when I ended up having a dependent. Just my opinion.

    • I agree completely with Maryann. No one is questioning the high cost of raising a family. No one is questioning whether or not the monetary difference in take home from a single service member vs. a married serviceman even begins to cover expenses or not. I’m sure it doesn’t. But that doesn’t change the fact that a married service member brings home more money per month than a single serviceman of the same rank and years of service. And a married with dependents service man receives even more. That’s an irrefutable fact. Those extra dollars may not cover your extra expenses – and because of those dependents, you may have far less money (if any) left over at the end of the month – but that doesn’t change the fact that your check is bigger.

  7. Every situation as with anything is different. My husband and I right now have the luxury of not paying rent, why, because my Mom opened her home to us to make saving money a little easier in the beginning of our marriage. We do may cable/internet, and electricity, and some food. So after the 15th of the month pay we do have a little extra.

    That is the one thing military men and women, well anyone really sometimes don’t realize until it is too late. Getting married for money does not mean you will be happy. I had a customer come into the store I work at, he freely told me (because I asked why he lived so far from post, another county) “my ex wife likes the soldier, just not when he’s retired.” There will always be money issues especially with gas prices going up to almost $5 this summer! I work, evern though my soldier is the main provider, I was taught to have something for myself saved just in case of an emergency. I think it is just a matter of making a crompomise about where money goes and how it is spent, etc. Regardless of rank, BAH, etc., anyone can be bankin just a matter of how the money is used.

  8. My husband gets paid the same exact amount as any single soldier with his same pay grade and time in service. What is different are their entitlements. It is not more money in our pocket. Yes, he does get more BAH for having a wife and kids; however, since there are three more people in his family, he needs a bigger house. Living in a one bedroom apartment is just NOT an option for us. If we only did get that one bedroom apartment, we would have less space per person than the single soldier. So, in that respect, the married soldier would have less for being married with kids. In summary, we get housing, just like the single soldiers do. And it is appropriate for our family size, just like the single soldiers is.
    He did get time off when we had kids. For him, it was personal leave. I realize that since we’ve had our children, the entitlements have changed and he would now get 10 days paternity leave which is wonderful. So yes, this is an entitlement that the single soldier (even one who has a child) does not get.
    My husband has duty this week. That means that he is NOT getting home early enough to have family with his kids and me. We had dinner without him tonight as we will every day this week. He has NEVER gotten out of any type of duty because of us.
    If our child misses the bus, he doesn’t go to work late so he can drive him to school, that’s MY JOB. He doesn’t get to take off of work if our kids are sick either. I’m expected to handle that. And if the illness is bad enough where he is needed to be there as well, you can assume that he is not having fun and would much prefer to be at work with a healthy kid.
    I’m sure you’ll continue to believe what you want, but thanks for reading my opinion.

  9. Oh girl you hit it right on the nail. I truly agree with what you stated. Yes it is an individual situation maybe some people do tend to get off a lot due to having a child or spouse but that is not necessarily the in case for all soldiers. So again I totally agree on what you stated.

  10. I understand what you are trying to point out to that soldier who left that comment, but I am not sure why it was only officers used as examples? I believe that if you used enlisted as well for examples you could have caputered the whole picture a little better.

  11. My husband isn’t supposed to have weekend duty? I’ll let the guys know. He gets to come home when the kids are sick or have a school function mid-day? Dang. I’ll let him know that too. When do we get the company car? LOL Yes, we get a house to live in (which means BAH), but a single soldier gets an ‘apartment’. Maybe not an apartment that we’d traditionally think of, but a place to live funded by the Army; just like our house. In fact, soldiers here that are single share homes on post in some instances.

    I think it would be great if instead of everyone pointing fingers at who has more or who gets this or who gets that, if we were just happy with what we have. I’m grateful every day for my house and for the benefits of being a military spouse like access to healthcare and discounts and a paycheck one can count on. Activities for my children. Getting to live in different places. Do I care if an officers family gets more BAH? Nope. Do I care if a higher rank enlisted family has a better home? Nope. It’s not how much you get. It’s not where you live. It’s not the car you drive.

  12. There is a reason married service member have more entitlements! I am the soldier in our family and let me tell you the number of times my husband has been fired or just plain had to quit his job because the kids were sick or got suspended from school or the bus or even every time we have to PCS! I don’t know about any other soldiers, but I can’t take off when ever I want, my civilian husband has to take care of almost everything, I don’t have any special treatment with duty. We may receive a little more in our entitlements, but it doesn’t even make up for the amount of money we have lost b/c of my husband not being able to work all the time, because duty does have to come first a lot of the time. It simply makes it possible for married military families to survive off of one paycheck!

  13. By Sheer numbers a married soldier makes more than a single soldier, but a married soldier has a FAMILY to care for. If you were to take the raw numbers and take out the bills paid by a single soldier and a married soldier I can nearly guarantee you that the married soldier is going to come away each month with less left over than a single soldier. A single soldier only has to take care of themselves not a wife and children.

  14. We are one of the few lucky ones I guess in the fact we are an older couple, living off base and no children at home any longer and yes we have very low rent which means we do have a bit extra each month.

    My husband also gets dependent pay for me and the food allowance is added back into his check and he takes his lunch most everyday. At least where we are the cost of food is outrageous so a lot of planning and creativity to feed my hungry soldier. We are enlisted not officer.

    But, it really is not extra as we had to get a car for my husband to drive to work (and we live farther to get the lower rent)and the cost of that with full premium insurance for the car and gas eats that up.

    Many ask my husband how we got the rent so cheap, literally for months before we moved here I had to find a place that I felt was within budget knowing we would have to have a car as well living off post.

    When I say months, I mean it, everyday looking online, making calls, filling out applications, you name it. I did not want to come to a place and not at least have a home to come to. I went by pictures online and checking with the base (it was on the RPP program) and the local area BBB.

    Not everyone has that kind of luxury and we are well aware of this. My husband would tell any of you that since I do not work outside the home I more than earn any extra dollar I can put towards something else, for my job AT home as an Army wife, and he will not have it any other way (I am truly blessed with a husband who knows my value, of course occasionally he has to be reminded but not often)

    I am also an Army mother [2 of our 6 children]. I handle things for my children or help find the area or place they need to go to for issues they have being in the Army (you never stop being a mom either). Sorry got off topic there.

    As for taking off time, not sure what that is about LOL, mine has had duty weekends or not. As for doctors yes he has had time to take me to appointments that were critical (2 biopsies and breast cancer). I will not apologize to anyone for that, nor will he. His superiors were great and it was very appreciated.

    He is not a shammer nor has been or ever will be, it is not his nature. He earns every bit of his pay and more (just as I earn mine as I see it with all the things his job does supply me with, insurance, a steady paycheck, we work well together) and now looks as if he will be being deployed.

    So ok, yep more money, in exchange for no husband to cuddle, well you get what I am saying, no amount of money makes up for those things. Oh yeah, then with that extra money comes money needed for phone calls or phone bills, postage to a foreign country and care packages sent. Oh yeah and if something breaks he is not here to fix it so I have to pay someone else…Geesh I could go on right?

  15. My husband and I are married, no kids. Something I have noticed, which is probably just a coincidence, is that my husband seems to get CQ or Staff duty on weekends almost every time. Every time he has CQ or Staff duty that is. It is quite annoying. I am now wondering if this is not a coincidence. I am wondering if the single soldiers have the same issue?

    My understanding is that as a single soldier your room is taken care of as is your meals. So my thought would be that for the married soldier the BAH/BAS is going to give both him and his family a reasonable size home and money enough to feed all of them. Including the soldier because now his meals are not free.

    I have also been told that BAS is for the soldier’s food alone, so if that was the case BAH would also include money for the family’s food. Or frees up money to pay for food that would otherwise go into paying for a an apartment, house, etc.

    So, I think it all works out.

  16. I can understand where they see the difference. But really, this is that important? Cause it’s not like we go through enough hardships that have nothing to do with money. Like the fact that I spent the majority of the 1st year of my marriage waiting for my command sponsorship to be pushed through and by the time they actually got it done and my husband was able to get housing, I was too far along in my pregnancy to travel OCONUS. Then had to wait to have a baby and get all new paperwork and a passport for him. So finally after 1 year and 1 month, we got to live as a family only for 5 months before he deployed for a year. But hey, at least we get more money! Riiiiight. I know way too many single soldiers that have money to burn and do monthly. The only reason they don’t have money in the bank is because of their own financial dealings. Stop spending $200 on liquor over a weekend out and maybe you wouldn’t be jealous that some of us have learned how to pinch pennies to survive. But that’s just my opinion on the matter. As for the time off for family.. sure. I wish. The only time my husband had off to pick my son and I up from an appt was because it was in his lunch. They only ever gave him time off when we first arrived so he could get us from the airport and get us enrolled in everything we needed since we showed up a year after him. And for a time he was doing duty 2 times a week cause they only had so many guys to rotate through. They didn’t give him time off to fly back to the states when I was hospitalized for an infection when our son was 3 months old. And it’s not like I’d even expect it.

  17. Sure, a married soldier will get paid more but does not make more. If you take the same spending habits of a single soldier vs. the same single soldier with an unemployed spouse (and any kids they might have), the single soldier will definitely make more money. Dependents use up a lot more money than the military pays. There is no question about it. The pay increase is definitely no reason to get married. That would be stupid.

    Who in the world gets to avoid work because they have a family?! My husband would never allow this. Equal pay for equal work. I’m sure he would give them first priority for getting off early for Halloween though. ;)

    That post sounds like someone very green without much experience in the military.

  18. I Kinda stumbled onto this army wife rant by accident… All I can think to say in response is I do get paid more money to have a wife and two children than when I was single. Sure the costs of kids and a wife are there, but those were my choice. The single guys don’t have any one but their battle buddies to depend on. All you FRG wives should think about those single soldiers and not yourselves. At least your husbands have someone to think of and call when deployed, or meet you when they redeploy. Most of you (I can tell from both experience and from how you present yourselves) live off your husbands work in the military. Perhaps it’s better to just be quite and not talk about money when it’s not even really yours in the first place… But don’t listen to me.

    My experience.
    4 years enlisted as a single soldier, no BAH.
    2 years married as a soldier, with BAH.

    I recieved more money with BAH than without… Cram that in your oven and cook it. Don’t like what I wrote, then don’t chastise my fellow soldier who put his life on the line so you all can cry on a forum…

  19. @Sgt Wardog

    First this is not a forum it’s a blog , a blog which had afforded me an opportunity to bring in income for my family as well, the same way my HUSBAND WHO IS A SOLDIER works and brings in money for his family. Maybe in your household you do the whole MY MONEY thing…over here we don’t do that.

    Second of all of all I can’t speak for anyone else but I wasn’t disrespecting this soldier. If you are a READER of my blog which your not which explains why you dont understand anything I wrote or said then you would know on here I help wives to understand the military life, so throwing around misconstrued facts about who makes more money only confuses people. The original post is for the idiots that get married and think you are going to receive tons of extra money per dependent. My clarifying these facts has nothing to do with how much I respect any servicemember of this country, wrong facts or not. I appreciate your feedback but don’t come to a blog and make comments without reading around to get the gist of what is going on around here. I am not your version of the so called average military wife who sits around collecting her husbands checks and for the record many of us don’t do that.

    I have been married for over 7 years with more experience as a military wife then you have in service period.

    Don’t like what I wrote tough!

    • Ma’am. I beleive we have reached an impasse. I do understand that not every wife is a leacher, nor that you were disrespecting that service member, albiet you did call people like him and me “idiots”. My intent is that other wives on here did that. He was not saying, nor was I, that married life equalls more net worth, he was simply stating that married soldiers get more take home pay. It’s as simple as that. Let me clarify that, put your husbands LES next to another soldier with the same grade and time in service, but without dependants, at the same duty station and you will see a difference.

      And just for the record, while I understand that you have been a military wife for 7 years, don’t let that get to your head. I have no problem putting spouses (male or female) in their place once they start wearing their soldiers rank. You have not done that as of yet.

      I am supprised that I recieved no response about the single soldier thing. I am curious, does the FRG at your post actually care for those guys? My experience at different posts and units is that for the most part, the money that units raise for the FRG’s usually gets spent on the spouses and kids, and any money that the FRG spends on deployed soldiers usually ends up only being sent to their husbands.

      I would be interested in reading one of your blogs about 8 ways to help deployed single soldiers, or 3 ways to invite single soldiers over for a holiday meal (especially OCONUS). If your the kind of military wife you say you are, I’m sure you have been as hospitable as my wife and I in helping those who have no family. Not just on Christmas or Thanksgiving, but year round.

      Have a good day, Army life starts early.

      • Well I can admit if my tone is wrong , so for that I apologize.
        As for calling you an idiot or soldiers in general NOOOO not at all. Who I was calling an idiot were clearly the ones who get married because they think per extra dependent equals extra cash. I don’t know your marriage situation to call you an idiot lol! I don’t think that at all .

        I am glad you know that I am not one of the ones wearing rank because I never have and never will. In fact take sometime to go through my blog and watch or read some of the pieces I have done about wives who try to do that.

        As for the single soldier thing and the FRG’s I can’t speak for everyone but I was part of mine and helped contribute for the single soldiers , especially during the deployment. In addition I sent stuff for my husband to give to the single soldiers while he was deployed. I know a good portion of money went to setting up barracks rooms with new bedding and baskets of food for the single soldiers when they got back. I believe money is also used to lower the cost of ball tickets for all.

        I would gladly write a post on how to help single soldiers. I have written pieces about helping them , because I myself have hosted single soldiers on various days , in addition to sending things in for those whose had birthdays just to make them feel special. I am totally on the same page as you because Im kind of a sap, so seeing a soldier especially a young kid walking around here 5,000 miles away from home with no homecooked meals or no one to spend the holidays with breaks my heart. I’m definitely not cold.

        Speaking of Hawaii yes I am here in lodging I PCS to NC next week…in fact I am doing a live PCS. This means I will be vlogging and blogging from the skies and airports and once I arrive in NC.

        Yes I went to Kbay a few times and have to admit it is very pretty out there. Although since your now a ‘new reader” lol, I am pretty sure you will come across my post about my disdain for Hawaii.

        Thank you for your service and believe it or not I do appreciate your feedback.

  20. I also meant to apologize for my patronizing comment about an oven. When I’m wrong I will admit it, and I was wrong in that regard. You might also be interested to know that my wife is actually in the Army too, and she now technically outranks me since she went green to gold last year and became an officer. One other thing of importance is that i am in the process of being medically discharged since I lost my right leg. That means I will be a military spouse like you, taking care of our children, and at that time I will still say my wife technically brings home more money than a single soldier of same grade and time in service.

    One last thing, I take it your still currently in Hawaii? I know off post housing can be expensive there, and on post housing is abhorrent. But, I managed to find a luxurious 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom, 2 car garage, in a nice neighborhood, that cost barely LESS than my BAH near EWA. I know there are added financial burdens with dependants, but proper planning and initiative can overcome nearly any problem. Hint, buy and sell from others who PCS. We bought it and turned around and sold it to another military couple. I was really hoping to live in K-Bay but that was just wishfull thinking. lol.

  21. In the end the numbers are all that really count. When you work for a private business they don’t pay you differently or give you different perks based on whether you’re married or single or how many kids you have. If they did they would be sued. I work for a private company as a single woman without children. My coworker in the cubicle next to me is married and has two children. We make exactly the same amount of money and get exactly the same benefits because we have the same job descriptions and have worked for the company for the same amount of time (give or take a few months). I am not belittling how hard it is to raise a family with a spouse serving in the military, but in the end it comes down to being paid more for equal work based on your family situation. And that doesn’t sit well with me.

  22. To all of you saying it costs more to have a spouse or child…. That was your choice and doesn’t entitle you to any extra compensation unless all single and married service members are entitled to the same. Just because you want to be a stay at home parent and not get off your butt n go get a job does not mean that your working spouse should get more money. Have them go get a civilian job and see if that employer will give your family any extra cash flow because of a ring or children. You are telling everyone that reads this that just because they have not found “the right one” or have went out and made the poor decision to have a child out of wedlock that they are not entitled to the same options for housing and feeding themselves when, what, and how much they want.

    Let’s take the BAH and BAS from them and I bet you would have a completely different veiw.

  23. It is more money if the lazy wives get jobs!! Just saying all the money I make working is soooo much extra n my pocket!!

  24. They do make more money hence the reason he married me puts off the divorce, been collecting benefits for over 2 yrs even though we are separated. Separated after 2days, he sabotaged annulment papers, that got dismissed, divorced papers change his contact,never showed up for court that case got dismissed yesterday. He’s been starting cases knowing it would get dismissed. Unfortunately I’ve had to wait for his cases to be closed before I file my own. Guess what I’m doing next week an uncontested divorce, I don’t want anything whether he signs it or not the divorce will be final. Marriage fraud takes place all the time because the solider knows marriage equals extra money. You can list all the expenses the point is more money. It’s easy for the defendants to talk and say no it’s not extra when it is.

    If your buying expensive clothes for kids and yourself the money will look small, but the point is the extra money exist. You can afford things other people can not if they had civilians jobs because pay is equal.

    The point of these benefits is to make millitary life inviting.

  25. They do make more money hence the reason he married me puts off the divorce, been collecting benefits for over 2 yrs even though we are separated. Separated after 2days, he sabotaged annulment papers, that got dismissed, divorced papers change his contact,never showed up for court that case got dismissed yesterday. He’s been starting cases knowing it would get dismissed. Unfortunately I’ve had to wait for his cases to be closed before I file my own. Guess what I’m doing next week an uncontested divorce, I don’t want anything whether he signs it or not the divorce will be final. Marriage fraud takes place all the time because the solider knows marriage equals extra money. You can list all the expenses the point is more money. It’s easy for the defendants to talk and say no it’s not extra when it is.

    If your buying expensive clothes for kids and yourself the money will look small, but the point is the extra money exist. You can afford things other people can not if they had civilians jobs because pay is equal.

    The point of these benefits is to make millitary life inviting.
    The men that have posted are 100% accurate. Blessings to Wardog. :)

    • What your spouse got was BAH and if you were living onpost he didn’t get that. If you lived offpost then I would think the majority of it went to some kind of rent or mortgage, other then deployments no extra money is received.

  26. I’m still extremely confused on this situation. My boyfriend is in the army, active duty, he is in Virginia, and i am at college in Pennsylvania. If we got married, considering we have no children and we will live separately untill his 4 years is up, would we receive more money marrying, or would it be the same pay?

    • You and your future husband would receive BAH which is housing allowance. That doesn’t change no matter how many dependents he has. If he were to deploy or go away for more then 30+ days he would receive Family Separation pay.

  27. ok here is the thing yes soilders who are married make more money yes the single soilder is givin free housing but as far as being in a place of there choosing they dont get that option. now im not knocking marrage i hope i get to that point in my life, but a married soilder gets more oppertunitys to advance and more help no matter what kind than the average single soilder if you want proof i am a single soilder and if anyone in my family is sick even though i was the one who watched them all the time when our mother left i still have to go to work like nothing happened. were as a married soilder gets to stay home. And to talk about illness lets talk about the houseing they give us single soilders shall we. First the room is small and if the previous person who lived in the room broke anything in the room and never noted it it bill gets charged to you automaticly yes you can take it to legal if your leadership lets you but if i lived off base it wouldnt be a issue. Second the food on any base is horrible and they take out 300 bucks each month i did the math one month and i can feed myself with better food for 100 bucks a month no im not eating lobster but i will survive and not be hungry.Third if i lived off base i wouldnt need to have my room invaded every day by someone with a white glove telling me my window seal has dust on the outside of it and if it isnt cleaned up i get a counciling. if i lived off base i would not answer my door to them if it was not on duty hours in witch case i would be at work. being single is a bad thing in the army they take your money tell yoou you cant leave to find a better place to live and if you do they wont pay bah so the single soilder is forced to deal with black mold or the constant parties outside on the weekend or have to walk threw broken glass from one person getting drunk and smashing a beer bottle in from of your door.

  28. Someone may have made this comment already but I was getting a headache from reading so many poorly written complaints about the cost of raising children and supporting a spouse that I just decided I would throw in my two cents about what people mean by “the army pays you to get married”. Please consider the following two scenarios which are the direct cause of 99% of contract marriages:
    2 Single E-4 Soldiers living in one ancient (read World War II) era barracks room eating reheated food at a DFAC 2 miles away receiving no BAH and no BAS(food allowance)
    2 Married E-1 Soldiers living in a new 2BD/2BA apartment right off post with total bills amounting typically to about 500-1000 less than their combined BAH and 600 per month in food allowance to make their own food choices.

    This is not a discussion about poor budgeting or family planning. Its not about duties or assignments or work. This is about Soldiers of less rank and time in service being provided a better standard of living and more disposable income (whether they dispose of it on diapers or rims) in their pocket simply because of their marital status.

  29. why? is everyone in the military automatically marrying an invalid dependent or someone that they automatically have to support and that they are marrying someone who will never get a job or does not already have a job and is solely relying on the measly salary of a soldier…….?

  30. I don’t understand how being married means you deserve more money than a single soldier.
    I may have the same job and rank as that married person but because somebody doesn’t love me, I don’t deserve that money?
    Does being married make them better at their job than me? NO.
    So why do they get a pay raise for the same exact thing I do?

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